The High School Prince
by Lalalu
Summary: Athrun is the president of SEED High School's Student Council with serious attitude problems and his next victim is Cagalli Yula. Final Chapter! When You Are Beside Me.
1. One or Two Fateful Encounters

**READ THIS** before you decide to read the story:  
I've been reading Japanese asucaga fanfics and it made me inspired to write this because it contains some of my favourite elements: KuroAthrun and parallel universe, preferably high school or university. So let me just write this: If you think Athrun is a gentleman and get angry if he is portrayed otherwise you might be better off not reading this, he is out of character in this story so be prepared.

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**The High School Prince**

**One or Two Fateful Encounters **

It was really hot outside, the air seemed to tremble and the crickets high pitched sound were eating its way into the ears leaving the whole head humming. All the lawns had already lost their vivid green colour and had now taken a brownish shade.

Kira Yamato had just bought a drink from a vending machine and was now in a desperate attempt to cool himself pressing it to his forehead. School was just over and he was heading home. As he was walking across the schoolyard he noticed a boy and a girl having an agitated discussion besides the gym building. As he was getting closer he began to hear what it was about.

"How can you do this to me?" The girl stuttered between the sobs.

"Get a grip of yourself and stop act so shamefully. If you want to humiliate yourself then please go ahead just don't drag me into it." The boy said with an icy-cold voice that despite the heat sent shivers down Kira's spine. He knew that boy, in fact it was his best friend.

"But you said you loved me!"

"And you believed me? Well aren't you naïve?" His cold green eyes showed no sign of being moved.

The girl began to cry with new intensity.

"Tears will have no affect on me, it only makes you even uglier. Why should I feel sorry for you? You knew what you were getting yourself into. You knew I have a fiancée."

"But even so…" she said trembling.

"No buts, it's the truth. Now get out of my face or do I have to slap you to get it through to you? I rather not 'cause I don't want to soil my hands."

She looked at him with fear in her eyes, "You're heartless!" and ran away towards the school building.

"Athrun don't you think that was a little bit harsh? Kira walked up to the blue-haired boy.

"Mind you own business."

"But you seriously weren't going to hit her were you?"

"No that would be bothersome I am the student council president after all and I can't jeopardise my position for something as worthless as that. Ahh sometimes I don't know why I bother, as soon as you hook up they want to cling on. It's so bothersome to have to go through this break up scene every time. But I guess it has some merits, it's kind of fun to see them desperate."

"That's evil Athrun."

"They had it coming."

Athrun Zala: second year student, top of the class and president of the student council of the prestigious SEED High School. Engaged to famous singer Lacus Clyne and his father was the head of a large company. Blessed with incredible looks, large deep emerald eyes, thick amazing dark blue hair and fair skinned and slender figure. If you didn't know better you would think that he was a woman but the broadness of his chin and shoulders gave away. All these qualities made him practically an idol at the school, the girls wanted him and the boys wanted to be him, well almost. He had earned himself a bad reputation for being cruel and that was certainly not without merit. But that didn't stop the girls from hitting on him, Kira guessed that they hoped that they could change him or something but that wasn't likely to happen. Athrun knew a lot of people but it was only shallow acquaintances and there were probably many who were envious and jealous and really despised him behind his back, something that Athrun was very much aware of. He showed up a polished façade and didn't let anybody behind it except for Kira. Sometimes Kira wondered why Athrun had picked him as his friend and confidant, he didn't know but he and Athrun had been friends for several years. He had met Athrun's mother before she died in that fire and his personality had definitely taken a turn for the worse after that. But still when it was just the two of them Athrun could show another friendlier side of himself but even that became increasingly rare. And his engagement with Lacus Kline seemed just to be an excuse to dump girls he was getting tired of.

"Aren't you engaged is it right to be with other girls?"

"Oh, that is just something that my father has decided, it has nothing to do with me. When the time comes I will marry her because it seems like a good move to make career-wise. But I don't like to be around her, she makes me feel uneasy."

Kira had a hard time believing that someone could not be happy about having Lacus Kline as a fiancée. He had only met her once but she had put a lasting impression on him. First of all she was beautiful, if there was someone who could match Athrun in beauty it was her with her long pink hair and strikingly blue eyes. Her personality was totally different, she seemed so nice and friendly to everyone, and to Kira it seemed, he didn't know because he had only met her once, that it was honest. Unlike Athrun who would only put up an act of being friendly if he saw any benefits in it.

"So what are you doing now?" Athrun asked as he was getting tired of the subject.

"I don't know, I guess I'm heading home."

"Ah" Athrun looked a little disappointed.

"Do you want tag a long? My mother should be home as usual but…"

"That's alright. Let's go then I'm dying in this heat."

Kira's house wasn't particularly far from school but when they reached it they were almost soaking with sweat It was a normal house, perhaps a little bit larger than average. With a neat little garden (Kira's mother's hobby was gardening) and a stone padded path running to the front door. Kira open the door, "Mom, I'm home!" A much awaited coolness came towards them and they entered and Kira closed the door blocking the heat behind them.

"Ahh, thank God for air-condition."

"Ara, is Athrun here too?" Kira's mom came into the hallway to greet them.

"Yeah, brought him with me, it's OK right?"

"Good day Mrs. Yamato."

"Hello Athrun, how is school, not too much trouble?"

"No, I think I'm able to manage somehow."

"I know you are an excellent student. Thank you for always taking care of my own hopeless son." She said and sighed and looked affectionately at Kira.

"Mom!" Kira whined.

"Not at all, it's really my pleasure." Athrun answered politely.

"How's your father by the way, I guess he is very busy?"

"He is very busy but other than that he is all well."

As they sat in the kitchen and drank ice-tea together with his mother Kira didn't say much but listened to his mother's and Athrun's conversation. He never could get over how Athrun could change from one situation to another. And he didn't feel all too good about seeing Athrun pretend to be nice and interested in what his mom had to say. So he got up from his chair, "We're going up to my room now mom." He really couldn't stand it any more.

"Eh, but it's OK for me to stay here." Athrun said. Was he surprised? No, not possible. Kira shook his head mentally.

"I understand you want to be alone, just call if you need anything." His mom smiled.

"Ok, let's go Athrun."

"Thanks for the drink, Mrs. Yamato."

"You're welcome."

Athrun hurried after Kira who already had walked up half the stairs.

"What was that about?" Athrun asked as they entered Kira's room and closed the door.

"Isn't that my line? Maybe it's ok when it's the teachers, but when you pretend to be nice to my mom it really bugs me. You can understand that can't you?"

"You really don't think much of me do you?" Athrun laughed a little.

"It's not that, but when it comes to my mom it's different."

"I know. Believe it or not I wasn't faking, you're really lucky to have such a nice mom." This time Athrun looked serious and if Kira hadn't known better a little sad.

"Anyway I'm so tired of all the girls in school, everyone bore me to bits."

X x X

It had rained constantly for several days now, school was over and Kira watched out the window and wondered how he was going to get home. It was pouring down and he had forgotten his umbrella.

"Hey, have you forgotten your umbrella? Do you wanna to share mine?"

Kira turned around and saw a face he didn't recognized. The person had to be a girl because she was wearing the girl's school uniform which included a skirt. It was hard to say what it was but there was something in her attitude that made her seem more like a boy than a girl. But when looking closely she really had cute face, blonde hair that went to the shoulders and amazingly straightforward amber coloured eyes, she definitely looked like a girl but…

"What are you staring at? Is there something funny about how I look or somethin'?"

"Eh no, I'm sorry I didn't mean to stare."

"Not that it matters anyway. So do you want to share umbrella?"

"Eh…" It certainly was pouring down, but he wasn't so keen on sharing an umbrella with a strange girl he didn't know, and who knew if they lived in the same direction anyway. And furthermore her umbrella was a little… embarrassing. He didn't considered himself vain but he thought he rather be caught dead than walking under that umbrella. It was pink with fluffy white clouds and had large red letters that spelled "No, we're not just sharing an umbrella".

"Oh, come on!" she said and grabbed his arm and started dragging him out of the school building.

"H- hey, wait a minute!" Kira helplessly objected.

"Why? If I'd wait for you to make up your mind I'd be waiting all day. So I made up your mind for you."

Kira resigned with a deep sigh, what a pushover this girl was.

"By the way I'm Cagalli, what's your name?" The girl apparently named Cagalli said, and flashed a surprisingly sweet smile at him. Kira found himself getting confused and felt his cheeks getting hot. She had a really cute smile.

"Hey, you don't have a fever or something?" she felt his forehead with the back of her hand, "Your face looks all red, you know."

Cagalli's sudden intimate movement chocked him a little, "Eh, I'm all right, I tell you" he moved away from her. This definitely didn't help getting away the blushing.

Cagalli looked a little suspiciously at him, "If you say so…"

"Yes I say so, anyway I'm Kira."

"Nice to meet you Kira!" She smiled with her whole face.

"Uh, Yeah." Kira lamely responded. "I haven't seen you before, what year are you in?"

"Second."

"Really? Me too. What class?"

"Hmm, I think it was 2-b. I've just transferred here, so I haven't been at any lessons yet."

"Ehhh, that's the same class as me." Kira exclaimed.

"You're kidding? That's great!"

Kira was a little embarrassed by her excitement, she had just met him didn't know anything about him. He wasn't sure he could fulfil the expectations, but none the less it was hard not to smile when he looked at her. He thought that he was happy too, with this girl in the same class surely things would not be so boring anymore.

"But I have to ask what's with this umbrella, it doesn't seem like you at all." He didn't know why he suddenly made such a comment, the truth was that he didn't know her, but at the same time he felt totally comfortable with her.

"Well, _excuse_ me. It was raining and I didn't have an umbrella and this was the only they had left in the store. I wouldn't have picked it if I had a choice." Cagalli put on a sour face.

Somehow Kira could understand why it had been the only one left. "Sorry I didn't mean to offend you." He didn't want to make her dislike him.

"None taken. It can't be helped, it is a pretty awful umbrella." She laughed.

"Yeah, it really is the worst I've seen." Kira laughed too.

Suddenly he realized that they had been walking for some time now and he hadn't thought about in which direction, but this was his street. "That is my house over there, do you live nearby?"

"Yeah, I live in an apartment two blocks away."

This was a lucky coincidence, now he didn't have to worry about how to get home.

They stopped in front of Kira's house. "This is it. Thanks." Kira said.

"You're welcome. I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

"Bye!" Cagalli waved her hand a little and turned around and started walking away. Kira stood and watched her for a little while until he noticed it was still raining and he was getting wet.

X x X

"Hello class today we have a new student," class 2-b's homeroom teacher Murrue Ramius began the day's first lesson. Beside her was a cute blonde girl with fearless eyes and confident smile. "So Cagalli why don't you introduce yourself to the class."

"Yes Ms Ramius." Cagalli faced the group of curious faces, "Hello, My name is Cagalli Yula I'm looking forward to get to know everyone." She noticed Kira and waved at him. Kira was a little surprised but gave a little faint smile and hesitantly put up his hand to greet her. This wasn't unnoticed by the rest of the class, especially the girls. Not only Athrun but Kira Yamato was quite popular throughout the school too, Kira was good looking, best friends with Athrun and generally friendly to everybody. Many girls had a crush on him, though he seemed mostly bothered by the attention. He had actually dated a girl named Frey a while in first grade but that had ended and he hadn't been dating anyone since. But there was not much that he did in school that went unnoticed, there were already rumours that he had gone home with some unknown girl with blonde hair yesterday.

"Is that all?" Murrue asked Cagalli.

"Yes I think so"

"Well then please take a seat so we can begin the lesson." Murrue pointed at a vacant seat by the windows. Sadly it wasn't near Kira instead it was between two girls, one redheaded girl and one with light brown hair. The first was looking at her and smirking a little for some unknown reason and the other just looked at her with simple interest. Cagalli got that the feeling that the redhead was dying to tell her something.

When the lesson was over the redheaded girl who sat in front of Cagalli turn around, "I'm Flay Alster and the girl behind you Miriallia Haww" Frey said still smirking.

"Hi, it's ok to call me Miri." Mirallia gave a Cagalli a friendly smile.

"Hi, I'm Cagalli."

"So, Cagalli how do you know Kira?" Flay asked.

"Kira? Well I don't exactly know him I just walked home with him from school yesterday…"

"That was you? I knew it, a strange unknown blonde girl they said."

"What?" Cagalli was confused.

"You see Kira is quite poplar among many girls, so there are lots of rumours about him." Mirallia explained.

"Yeah there is no way that nobody wouldn't have noticed that."

"So? He had forgotten his umbrella and I just offered him to share mine. That's what anyone would have done."

"Correction, not anyone would have done that. Cagalli you better be careful if you don't want to feel the wrath of Kira's crazy fan girls." Flay contradicted her.

"Flay is right, you better be careful, who knows what they might do." Miriallia agreed.

"Eee? That's stupid, like I care what they think."

"Sooo, there isn't anything between you two?" Flay asked.

"What? No! He seems like a nice guy but I honestly don't even know him yet."

"If you say so…"

"Yeah I say so."

The three looked over at Kira who looked a little surprised again.

Flay giggled a little, "He's looking at you."

"Just a coincidence."

"Hmm…" Miriallia and Flay said in unison.

After that the lessons went on pretty fast and by lunch Cagalli still hadn't had an opportunity to talk to Kira. But she liked Flay and Miri even if they, especially Flay, seemed to be a bit nosey.

"So what are you doing for lunch? We have obento with us so we'll eat in the classroom." Miriallia asked.

"I don't have anything with me so I thought I'd buy a sandwich or something in the cafeteria."

"Come back here so we can have lunch together."

"Yeah, I'll do that." Cagalli said and left the classroom in search of food.

"_They're really nice, this was a good idea after all."_ Cagalli thought as she walked down the corridor. She wasn't really paying attention and suddenly she noticed that there were surprisingly few people around.

"If this is the way to the cafeteria shouldn't there be more people around?"

In fact there was no one around, "Maybe I made a wrong turn somewhere." She stopped by door that said "Student Council". Maybe there could be someone in there that could help her? She was just about to open the door when it came flying into her face. Surprised she lost her balance and fell on the floor. She landed right on her back, she was sort of panicking because she couldn't breathe for a moment and she felt a dull pain in her spine. Confused she looked up and right in the face of the person who had opened the door. And right in a pair of strikingly emerald eyes that would have been beautiful if it weren't for the insolent look in them. The person who was wearing the boys' school uniform was, there was no better word for it, beautiful. Especially the thick dark blue hair and those green eyes. Or rather would have been beautiful if it weren't for that he? was smirking at her. She felt anger rising, why wasn't he helping her instead of standing there sniggering at her? She would do anything to wipe that smirk off his face.

"What are you looking at! Why are you just standing there? And what's so freakin' funny?" She screamed at him.

If anything his smile became wider. This guy was trouble she could sense it, if she was smart she would just get the hell out of there. But she was too pissed and anyway it wasn't her style to back off from anything. There was something else there too, something much more vexing. As much as she didn't want to admit it but she found herself oddly fascinated by this jerk.

"White huh." He finally spoke, still looking very pleased with himself.

"Eh?"

"You wear white panties." He shifted his eyes and she remembered she was still lying on the floor. Her skirt had gone up a little and she noticed what he was staring at.

"What the f…!" she hurriedly straitened her skirt and put her legs together. "What are you looking at you pervert!"

"I'm not a pervert, I was just stating the facts." He put on an innocent face and if she didn't know better she would have been fooled by that look but he was a pervert alright.

"Stating the facts my ass, normally you wouldn't say that, normally you would apologize and help me get up instead."

"But I didn't do anything? I just opened the door and there you were lying on the floor flashing your panties."

He was definitely lying, he had to have noticed that he had swung the door at her causing her to fall. She couldn't believe this jerk. She made an effort to rise when she suddenly saw a hand stretching out before her. _"What's he doing now, isn't it a little late for this?"_ she thought and slapped his hand away.

"I don't need your help to get up." She said angrily.

"Having trouble to make up our mind haven't we? You were just criticizing me for not helping you up, now you don't want it?

"You got that right." Cagalli rose to her feet, brushed her skirt and were just about to leave without saying another word when he spoke again.

"Didn't you have business with the student counsel?"

"No!" She started walking away, she had to get out of there. This bastard was stirring up her emotions too much. She didn't get far though, a hand grabbed her wrist and stopped her. She turned around and looked right in an amused face. Grrr, pissed off, pissed off, pissed off! "Release me now!"

"Only if you promise not to run away."

"Wha… You son-of-bitch."

"Why thank you, but I'm not letting go until you promise to behave."

Her head started spinning, what should she do? He didn't seem to be the least intimidated by her, normally _he_ should be running away. But instead he was laughing at her. And now he had a firm grip of her wrist and she couldn't do anything about it. She made a deep sigh, she had to give this one up. But it wasn't over, she would get revenge later, she would make sure of that.

"So?" He asked.

"OK, I won't go anywhere. Will you release me?"

His smile widened, he had victory written all over his face, "What's the magic word?"

"Please…" She started boiling again. The humiliation made her face all red.

"That's a good girl." He said with satisfaction and released her hand. "So what do you want with the student council?"

"I don't want anything with the student council." She muttered grumpily.

"Then why are you here?"

"I was going to the cafeteria but I guess I took the wrong turn somewhere. There was no one around and I saw the sign so I thought I'd try to ask someone… But that was obviously a mistake" She glared at him.

"Hahahahahaha"

"What's so funny with that asshole?"

"Hehehe, so you got lost? That _is_ funny." He dried his eyes from tears. "That reminds me," he was still chuckling, "I don't remember seeing you before. Are you a new student?"

"I've just transferred."

"Hmm, in the middle of the term, that's rare. So what's your name?"

"Shouldn't you be telling your own name before asking somebody else's?"

"Hehehe, please forgive me. My name is Athrun Zala, second year student and president of the student council. And you?"

"…Cagalli Yula." Crap, how could he be the president? This was getting better and better.

"Alright Yula, I'll take you to the cafeteria."

"What? I never asked for that. Just tell me the way. I think a rather go hungry than be seen with a bastard like you."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, now Yula, I think you'd be better off revising you manner of speaking. I could make your life, let's say… difficult if you don't."

"…" Cagalli just stared into the floor.

"As long as you understand. OK, let's go to the Cafeteria."

"Hey Cagalli what took you so long?" Flay asked when Cagalli came back to the classroom.

"Eh, nothing, I got a little lost that's all." She answered a little weakly.

"You look a little pale, did something happen?" Miriallia asked with a concerned look on her face.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just a little hungry."

"Well you better hurry up eating that before the lunch break is over." Flay remarked.

Cagalli didn't pay much attention to the lessons that afternoon. This was just great, everything was going fine until she met that Zala bastard. And what's worse she couldn't stop thinking about him. No, she wouldn't let Zala ruin this, she had already made new friends and she didn't want go back and hear _him_ say "I told you so."

"_The only thing I have to do is to avoid Athrun Zala and everything will be fine."_

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_"Sigh..." It seems that I have made many spelling mistakes, thanks to everyone who has pointed them out. I hope I have fixed them now but it is hard to find every single one. I try to get the names right but the spelling is so messed up, it is much easier to write them in katakana.


	2. Déjà Vu

Update! I'm really slow I know. Chapter two have some character introductions that might be tedious but I feel that they have to be done. Hopefully they're not unreadably boring though.

I want to thank all the reviewers, and especially the corrections. I made some really embarrassing mistakes the first chapter and I really appreciate the help. I will keep on making mistakes though, English is something I learnt in school and one week in London is the only time I've been in an English speaking country in my entire life so I hope you will have patience with me and if you see something that's incorrect then please let me know.

As for Japanese AsuCaga-fanfiction: 沢山あるんですよ！ A good place to start would be AxC Search: http/fb-m.agz.jp/ac. It lists text-sites, fan art-sites and others. とても便利なサイトですね。 I'm sure you will find your own favourites.

**Warning: In this fic Athrun is a real jerk with few redeeming qualities (and I really, really mean it), in other words he's totally out of character. If that is a problem for you then it might be better not to read this. If not then please go on and read and if you feel like it please review. The bottom line what I want to say is, don't flame because you don't like Athrun in this fic, you have been warned.**

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**Déjà Vu**

"_Hmm, Cagalli Yula? And here I was starting to get bored."_ Athrun thought to himself as he made his way to the student council room. Today they were having a meeting which should have started for 15 minutes ago, but Athrun was running late.As he walked people were moving out of his way and girls were whispering and giggling, "It's Zala." "He's so cool." "Did you hear what he did…"  
Athrun took no notice though, he was too used to it. He wasn't bothered by it and he didn't care what other people thought of him. If they hated him it was their problem, and if they were stupid enough to like him they were welcome to do that as well. Either way he didn't care. Generally he avoided to deal with people who didn't like him because it was bothersome, and though he'd never dream of intervene if somebody was bullied he wasn't a bully himself. He just wasn't interested enough in other people to bother.

What happened yesterday was extremely rare, in fact it might never have happen beforeHe couldn't get her out his mind, and he wondered why because she was just a girl. But come to think of it she wasn't just a girl, as he thought about it he began to understand what it was that was so interesting: No girl had ever spoken to him like that, and seeing her resist so much just made him want to make her surrender all the more. It wasn't just the satisfaction of finally making her yield, it was the exaggerated reactions she had to everything he said, _"You're funny, too funny to be ignored…"_ he laughed sadistically.

He had reached the student council room and made a deep sigh, he knew he had to leave his pleasant daydreaming for something quite the opposite. He made another sigh and opened the door, "YOU BASTAAARRRDD! How is it that the president of the student council is 20 minutes late! I can't comprehend why a weakling like you is the president, and what's more you're only second year!" The owner of the voice was none other than Yzak Joule, third year student, vice president of the student council otherwise known as constantly coming second after Athrun, resulting in Yzak deciding that Athrun was his greatest rival. Something that totally one-sided as Athrun wasn't the least interested in competing with Yzak, which of course only made the latter angrier.

"Yzak, take it easy man, if you don't relax more you'll start balding." A tanned boy with blonde hair named Dearka said. He was Yzak's best friend and seemingly almost his opposite. Dearka was very relaxed, almost too relaxed. There were very few things that could get him worked up, well actually there was only one: Girls. His favourite pastime had been flirting, well it still was but lately he had taken an enormous interest in one particular girl, namely Miriallia. It was very obvious to everyone around him that he had a severe crush on her simply because he followed her like a tail around school and dropped by her classroom several times a day. Unfortunately it was also painfully obvious that it was one-sided affections, Miriallia usually treated him very coldly which gave rise to both pity and ridicule from the surrounding spectators.

"Shut up! Do think it's funny to sit here and wait for this jerk to show up when you could be something much more productive?"

"Well it's true I'd rather be on a date with Miri right now, but I don't get so worked up about it, it's not worth it."

"Ha! Like that's ever gonna happen."

"It will, I'll just have to show her I'm serious this time."

"Your past record is working against you, you know."

"I know, it's a shame she can't see past that. Girls, they're so shallow."

"Oh, hi Miriallia, what are you doing here?" Athrun butted in.

"Miri?" Dearka panicked and looked around him.

"HAHAHAHAHA" The whole room burst out into a roar of laughter.

"Hehehe," Athrun still chuckling wiped the tears from his eyes, "Dearka you don't look so good." Which was totally true, Dearka's face had turned green and there were both fear and confusion written in it.

"Aahh," he sighed, "You scared me for a moment there"

"You don't say? You looked like you were going to pee your pants."

"I highly doubt that, anyway I'm not Mr. Ice-cold, like you. You wouldn't know how it is to be in love."

"Well that's true, and when I look at you I hope I never will."

"Hey, it's your loss." Dearka smiled taking no offence, "By the way, when I stopped by Miri's class today a saw a new girl…" he stopped in the middle of the sentence to look if he had everyone's attention.

"New girl?" Athrun asked, to him this was definitely interesting remembering Yula.

"Yeah, blonde cute girl, she was talking with Yamato"

"Kira?"

"Yeah, they were looking pretty good together I have to say. I don't know what they were talking but it must have been something funny cuz' they were laughing."

"Now that you mention it, I heard a rumour that Kira had a new girl friend, a blonde. That must be her then." Nicol said. He was a first year student that looked up to Athrun because of his academic merits and his accomplishments in the student council, though Nicol had a totally different character. He was a kind and gentle boy that was especially good at playing the piano, though sometimes Athrun could swear that there was irony behind Nicol's innocent smile. Nicol was actually one of the few people that Athrun liked besides Kira although they weren't close.

"Is that so?" Athrun frowned a little, he didn't know why but he felt slightly irritated. Or rather why did Kira have to interfere with his new toy? But if you looked at the situation calmly there could be some other reasonable explanation, firstly Kira was the sociable type who got along with everybody, there was nothing strange with him talking and laughing with someone he just met, secondly there all sorts of rumours going around both himself and Kira, if all of them were true they would have slept with the whole school including each other by now. Well there was an obvious solution to the problem, he just had to ask Kira when this meeting was over which he now remembered hadn't even started. At that time a loud angry voice brought him back to reality,

"You bastards, quit gossiping like a bunch of girls and get on with the meeting! Isn't it your job to start the meeting p-r-e-s-i-d-e-n-t Z-a-l-a, who loves to be late and waste other people's time."

"Let's hear what Athrun has to say, I'm sure he had a reason for being late." The ever sweet and nice Nicol said.

"As a matter of fact I have, I was stopped by Mr. Fllaga in the hallway. As you all know the sports festival is coming up, and there'll be mountains of work waiting for us. As Mr. Fllaga is head of the gym teachers we will be working closely with him and he wanted to know how far we had come. Regrettably we will have to have suggestion plan ready by the end of this week it seems." Athrun stopped and looked intently at Yzak who didn't return his gaze only muttered something beneath his breath that nobody could hear.

"It sounds troublesome." Dearka sighed, "There you go Yzak, he did have a reason after all." Yzak gave him a death glare, Athrun who was watching smiled a twisted smile, "By the way Yzak, the reason I am the president of the student council and not you is obviously that I won the election by, what was it, 75 of the votes. The students have more faith in me than you, it's that simple."

"Whhhaaat?" Yzak screamed. Athrun chuckled, it was exactly the reaction he was expecting. Come to think of, Yula and Yzak where very similar in some aspects and it was actually extremely easy to tease them and the reactions you got were extreme. There was one great but important difference though, Yzak was an irritating guy with a weird hairstyle. Yula on the other hand, despite of her rough and boyish behaviour really was pretty hot girl with incredible piercing amber coloured eyes.

"Athrun?" Nicol's voice brought Athrun back from his daydreaming.

"Eh? Yeah, if Yzak would stop bitching maybe we finally can begin the meeting."

xXxXx

"Hey you new girl!"

Cagalli looked around, and saw three girls leaning against the lockers. She gave them a lock that said "Who, me?"

"What wrong with you, can't you talk or something?"

"I wonder how you could be accepted into this school."

"Yeah, the worst thing I know are dumb blondes who cling on to guys that obviously don't want them."

Cagalli felt how the blood in her body was starting to boil. First that unbelievable Zala-what's-his-name jerk yesterday and now these bitches, who she never met before her life started to attack her without reason. _"What's wrong with this school anyway, are all schools like this?"_ Anyway there was noooo way she was going to take this abuse lying down, they were going to be sorry that choose her to pick on especially because she was aching for revenge since yesterday and even if they had nothing to do with that they really, really were asking for it.

"What's Kira to you?" One of the girls asked in an insolent tone.

"Yeah, we heard that you've practically thrown yourself at him."

"What's it to you?" Cagalli said in an as calm voice she could produce, it was too early to lash at them yet, first find out their purpose then kick their asses. She suddenly remembered Fllay's and Miriallia's warning, who would have thought they were actually serious. Anyway this was ridiculous, no one had the right to decide who she could be with or not. The girls looked shocked though, probably because they hadn't expected any resistance, well if that was the case they were in for a hell of a surprise.

"It's our business because we don't want sluts like you stealing Kira."

"How can you steal a person, doesn't Kira have his own will?"

By this time they had surrounded her, "Because Kira is so kind he won't have the heart to reject people like you, that's why we're looking out for him."

"Ha, I bet neither of you bitches has ever even talked to the guy." Cagalli looked at them, and it seemed like she had hit a nerve.

"Who are you calling a bitch, bitch! And for your information I so have talked to Kira."

"What, you said "Good morning"?" Cagalli smiled her most contemptuous smile.

Cagalli didn't notice but quite a crowd had gathered, and they were in the middle of everyone's attention. Nobody dared to intervene of course, nobody knew Cagalli or was willing to risk anything to help her and the girls that had attacked her were notorious.

"I'll teach you not to mess with us!" One of the girls pulled her hair from behind, unfortunately for her though Cagalli wasn't the one to stand defenceless to physical attacks either. It wasn't difficult to grab the hand that was gripping her hair and bend the girl's arm in an arm lock.

xXxXx

"Hey, everybody! Cat-fight!" Someone opened the door violently interrupting the meeting that finally had begun.

"Gureito! Who?" Dearka asked already getting up from his chair on his way.

"It's some blonde girl I don't know, and the Kira-fanclub! And she's winning!"

"No kidding? This ought to be good."

"_Yeah, this ought to be good"_ Athrun thought, _"It has to be Yula, if my impression of her is right she definitely wouldn't back down from a challenge and if she's been talking to Kira she's a target."_

"Oi! Where are you going! What about the damn meeting?" Yzak asked Athrun angrily as he was about to follow Dearka who was long gone.

"What does it looks like? I'm going to fetch Dearka so we can go home before the day ends." Athrun answered and left the room hurriedly so he wouldn't have to listen to Yzak's cursing which was starting to wearing him out.

He arrived at the scene where many people had gathered, stopped beside Dearka. And gazed at the spectacle with curious eyes and for once he wasn't the centre of everyone's attention it was blonde girl that held another girl in what looked like a painful armlock.

"Ouch, let go of me you bitch!" The girl screamed and the two others were about to help her when Cagalli said, "If you don't want me to hurt her, don't take another step." And forced the girl on the ground."I know your type, you've probably bullied a lot of people but this time you picked the wrong girl. I'm going to make you taste your own medicine and then some."

To her misfortune Mr. La Fllaga just happened to walk by and caught them in a situation that couldn't be ignored. "Alright, that's as far as it goes ladies, detention Thursday after classes."

Cagalli couldn't believe her bad luck, she was just minding her own business when she was attacked, now she was getting detention when she was innocent. She had the right to defend herself. The crowd around her though were clapping hands and cheering her on, "You go girl!" "Those bitches got what they deserved!".

"All right people the fun ends here, those of you who don't have practice go home or study in the library anything just don't block the hallway." Mwu said in a loud voice and people muttered a little but started to scatter anyway.

"And you Miss come with me for a while." Mwu said to Cagalli so she brushed off her clothes and followed the teacher. She didn't notice that a pair of amused green eyes was following her as she walked away however.

"You're new here so you probably don't know who I am." He flashed a sparkling white smile at her, "I'm Mwu La Fllaga, gym-teacher. I'm also responsible for all school teams, I hear that you are good at soccer, and our girl's soccer-team, frankly put, needs reinforcement."

"So what does that has to do with me?"

"You know, if you were to join it'd be a great asset to our team."

"Why would I want to do that? You've just given me detention, when it was them who attacked me? So why would I want to do anything for you?" Cagalli said while looking at him with her piercing eyes.

"Hey where's you school spirit?"

"I obviously don't have any since I've just transferred, and these kinds of things don't exactly make me favourably inclined.

"Now, now don't be like that. I know those girls are a bit aggressive, but I had no choice to give all of you detention. I'm sure you could have worked things out without violence, couldn't you?"

Well, maybe it was true, but she had been too angry. She had wanted to kick their asses.

"..." Cagalli didn't say anything, she felt a little ashamed. She should be better than them but her temper always got the best of her, it was both an asset and something that got her into trouble.

"So, you're going to join the team, great! I'll let the coach know."

"Wait, I didn't say that!" Cagalli shouted but it was already too late, Mwu was already running away down the corridor."

"Damn! What a day, things can't possibly go much worse than this." Cagalli muttered to herself. Cagalli didn't know it yet, but things actually could.

xXxXx

"Kira!" Cagalli shouted and started running towards a, by now, well known boy with brown hair who was standing by his locker.

"Hey Cagalli." Kira smiled.

"Are you going home now?"

"Yeah, how about you?"

"Yeah, right now I really want to get out here."

"How come?" Kira said as they started walking towards the exit. It had become a habit by now, that Kira and Cagalli would walk from school together. Kira really felt comfortable in Cagalli's company and they were living in the same direction anyway.

"I had the worst day ever. First I got into a fight, then I got detention and now it seems like I have to join the school's soccer team."

"You got into a fight? Why?"

"Eh?" She looked surprised, for some reason Cagalli hadn't expect that question. But of course he would ask why she had a fight, but it was embarrassing to say that it was over him.

"You don't want to tell me?" Kira looked a little confused but curious.

"It's such a stupid thing really."

"Ok, I get it, but why do you have to join the soccer team?"

"Well, the gym teacher saw us and gave us detention, I think his name was Muu or something."

"Mr. Fllaga? So he gave you detention?"

"Yeah, then he said he wanted to talk me. I wasn't exactly happy, but he wanted me to join the soccer team and before I could say anything he just ran off saying that he would let the coach know that I'd join."

"That sounds like Mr. Fllaga," Kira smiled a little. "But you can just tell the coach that you want to quit?"

"Yeah…"

"Or maybe you want to join?"

"I don't really know, I just know it will take a lot of time."

"Yeah you're probably right, I don't really have any extra-curricular activities."

"Why?"

"It's too much trouble, takes too much time, not interested in those kinds of things."

"So what are you interested in?"

"Hmm, I like to play video games and hang out with friends I guess."

"Sounds pretty normal."

"Really you don't think it sounds boring?"

"Not particularly, though I'm more of an outdoors person." Cagalli smiled, a bright smile that only she seemed to be capable of. Kira felt relieved that she didn't think he was boring, he wanted to hang out more with Cagalli, he wanted to get to know her, he wanted to see that smile.

"Outdoors can be cool too."

"Mm"

xXxXx

It was Thursday, the last lesson had just ended. Fllay turn to Cagalli and asked, "Do you want to hang out today? Miriallia and I are going shopping."

"Sorry I have detention today."

"Oh, yeah you got in a fight over Kira. I told you so." Fllay smiled amusedly.

"But I hear, you gave them quite a fright." Miriallia added.

"Well yeah, it's just my luck that a teacher happened to walk by just at that time."

"Yeah that just sucks."

"But I don't think I will have much trouble from them anymore, nothing I can't handle anyway."

"Hmm, yeah since they have pretty bad reputations already it's not like they have any credibility." Miriallia agreed.

"And what's more, Cagalli has become quite popular. First she kicked those bitches' asses and now she's doing pretty well on the soccer team. And she's really cute, she has her own style and she's friendly to everyone."

"Fllay, you're exaggerating. I'm not that popular and I'm not cute, I mean people use to confuse me for a boy." Cagalli bushed from all the praise.

"You're too modest. I'm not exaggerating, it's the truth."

"I have to say that Fllay's right Cagalli." Miriallia agreed with Fllay.

"Fllay and Miriallia are the ones who are cute, I'm not good with girls' stuff."

"Oh, then we have to help you, it's decided we're going shopping tomorrow instead. We're going to help you!"

"Eh, but I don't particularly want any help?"

"Don't be shy, Cagalli, it'll be fun. And you want impress _him_ don't you?"

"W-what do you mean by _him_?"

"Don't play dumb, I mean Kira of course. You got in a fight over him, remember."

"Oh Kira? He's just friend, I just don't like people who try to control me, and who I see."

"Hmm, I wonder if Kira feels the same." Miriallia said.

"What? No that's not possible, he can't have feelings like that for me."

Miriallia and Fllay sighed, this girl was totally unaware of her own attractiveness.

"Why isn't it possible? You're such a cute girl, and you walk home from school with him almost everyday. You know it may not seem like it because Kira is so nice to everybody, but truthfully he doesn't have any girl friends."

"Yeah, mostly he hangs out with The Prince."

"The Prince?"

"Yes, the school's prince Athrun Zala, president of student council. But Cagalli, Kira might be nice and all but stay away from Athrun, even if he is great lookin' he's trouble."

By the mentioning of Athrun Zala, Cagalli's face turned ash grey. Why was Kira friends with someone like him? It didn't make any sense, why would Kira want to be friends with a creep like that? When he said he liked to hang out with friends, he meant Zala? She had thought that she might get to know his friends and hang out together, but now it was impossible. She had vowed to avoid Zala with everything that it took, not even Kira would make her feel any different about him.

"Cagalli, what's the matter? You look a little pale."

"Nothing, I just thought of how boring it's going to be with detention."

"Why are you thinking about that now? Seriously Cagalli have you ever had a boyfriend?"

"Wha- I so have… not had a boyfriend." She had to admit the pathetic truth.

"I thought so, so why don't you try with Kira, don't you like him?"

"Well yeah, I do but…"

"No buts, tomorrow we're going shopping."

"Alright, I might as well try." Cagalli sighed, Fllay was so persistent, "Well, I better be going now, or else I'll be late."

"Bye, see you tomorrow"

"See you."

"Yeah, see you."

xXxXx

Mwu was walking down the corridor, he had problem on his hands, a big problem. Finally he had managed to get a date with Murrue and in his exaltation he had completely forgotten that he had 4 girls in detention to take care of. He was in a deep predicament, to postpone the date was of course not an option, but in spite of outer appearance Mwu took his teacher role very seriously. He had found substitutes for the three other girls but somehow he didn't think it was such a great idea to put them together with that blonde tigress. So what to do with her? He was sure she had been attacked by the "Kira-fan club" or whatever they called themselves, but there was a valuable lesson to be learnt here, violence doesn't solve anything, so he couldn't let her off the hook. Plus she was their new promising star forward, she had to set an example for the other kids. As he was walking there brooding by himself a caught a sight of someone who might just be the solution to this mess, "Athrun just the guy I wanted to see!"

"Mr. Fllaga, what can I do for you?" Athrun said in a polite tone.

"Now, now there is no need to be so formal, you can call me Mwu. Well actually I have a favour to ask you…"

"A favour?" Athrun asked hesitantly, somehow it felt like this had happened before, every time he saw La Fllaga he had some favour he wanted. Would he ever be paid back?

"Yeah, well truthfully I gave some girls detention Tuesday."

"Yes, I heard." Unexpectedly a very interesting topic came up.

"The thing is something has come up, and I don't have time to take care of it. So I wonder if you could. It's just Miss Yula, the other girls have other things, maybe she could help you out with the sports festival, she's really a bright kid and she's a great soccer player."

"Miss Yula? Sure I can probably find something useful for her to do, we're pretty busy right now. But how come you haven't got the time to do it yourself? Don't tell me managed to get a date with Ms. Ramius." Athrun smiled knowingly.

"Ah! Can't hide anything from you can I?" Mwu looked a little troubled.

"Don't worry, I can take care of Miss Yula. Good luck on the date Mr. Fllaga."

"Thanks I knew I could count on you." Mwu started to walk away, "And it's Mwu alright. See you tomorrow I'm looking forward to your proposal."

Athrun turned around and walked with light steps to the classroom where they used to have detention.

"You! What are you doing here!" Cagalli spat out when she saw the person she least of all wanted to see standing in the doorway. Unwillingly she had to admit he looked pretty gorgeous on the outside, it was just too bad the inside was as ugly as Frankenstein's monster.

"Mr. Fllaga unfortunately didn't have time to take care of your detention so he asked me." Athrun smiled amusedly, this was a heaven sent chance and he was going to grasp it.

"I'm not going to accept this, where is the old man? I'm going to talk to him."

"It's too late, he's not in the school anymore."

"I don't f-ckin' care, I'm out of here." Cagalli got up from her chair abruptly and began to take determined strides towards the door and towards what was freedom at the same time. But something or rather someone stopped her from reaching that goal. It was Athrun who caught her and pushed her against the wall, "You know it's bad to play hooky…" he whispered in a low voice in her ear.

A leg was pushed between hers and she felt a firm grip around her wrists pressing them against the wall and a pair of emerald green eyes was dangerously close. She opened her mouth to protest but it was filled with someone else's, soft lips and a tongue was finding its way into her mouth. Instinctively she tried to avoid it but a new feeling was spreading to an intensity she had never felt before almost like intoxication, a simple thing like breathing became difficult to do and her mind seemed to be emptied of thoughts. Somewhere faraway warning signs were flashing, but they didn't seem important right now, she wondered why. The grip around her wrists loosened, they must be free now, she absentmindedly thought.

But suddenly she stiffened, two hands were placed on her thighs and they were moving steadily upwards beneath her skirt. That was too much, she regained her self and pushed him away as hard as she could, "What the fuck are you doing you pervert? This is sexual harassment!"

Athrun looked at Cagalli for a bit and sniggered, "If I'm a pervert you must be one too 'cause you seemed to enjoy it pretty much." He added, "You know the body never lies…" with chuckle.

"…" Cagalli couldn't answer and to add to her misfortune it seemed to make Zala very pleased.

"More importantly here are documents I want you to go through." He handed her the huge pile papers he had brought with him.

"What are these?" She said in a weak voice.

"Those are documents concerning the sports festival, well I have to go to now. Have those ready until I come back." And with that he left the room and a very confused Cagalli. She stood there a long time after he had left trying to get a grip of the turmoil inside. She started shaking and dropped all the papers on the floor. She tried her best to hold back the tears, she didn't want to cry, she wouldn't let that bastard make her cry and she was angry but the person she was angry at was herself. Why did she let him do that? Why hadn't she been able to defend herself like when she was attacked by those girls earlier? Was she so weak of a girl that she only could fight other girls? Why couldn't she resist him when she absolutely hated him? She bit her lip so hard that it began to bleed and the pain seemed to relieve the pain inside somewhat. She had to focus she told herself and she began to pick up all the papers that lay spread over the floor. She had to get them in order or else she would be let out of this hellhole.

xXxXx

On his way to the student council Athrun's thoughts were differently engaged, _"Hmm, she is a better kisser than I thought, somehow she struck me as the innocent type but I guess I was wrong."_ The more he thought about it, the more he didn't want to let her go, it really was too much fun. A plan began forming in his head containing La Fllaga, the sports festival and Yula.

He had reached the student council room again and he sighed again as he always did, "BASTARD you're late again!" a familiar voice threatened to bust his eardrums when he entered the room.

"Yzak, relax I'm sure there is an explanation this time too." Dearka tried to calm him down.

Athrun sighed, but he was in a good mood so even if it was tiresome he didn't let it bother him, "Somehow I get a feeling of déjà vu, I guess it's hoping too much to expect that Yzak'd start talking in a normal tone of voice anytime soon."

"SHUT UP YOU COWARD!"

In other words it was an ordinary day in the student council.

* * *

Oh, it got pretty angsty, or unpleasant might be a better word for it, in the end, it wasn't really my intention from the beginning though… Maybe this is what happens if you drink wine and listens to Depeche Mode while writing… Depeche Mode is pretty angsty. I'm really happy because I managed to get tickets to see them when they come to my country, lucky. 

Maybe I took this one too far even though this is meant to be a kind of unhealthy love story. I can assure you that things and people will change as the story progresses.

In reality, I love Athrun and I'm truly glad that he's such a great guy in the series. There he deserves Cagalli, here he doesn't. (Of course that might change depending on how DESTINY ends)


	3. Dishonesty

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED or DESTINY

I'm so happy for the response I have received, thank you so much! You're really making it worth the effort.

AsuCaga daisuki!

* * *

**Dishonesty **

Cagalli sat at the desk and tried to sort the papers, trying to decode mysterious scribbles on crumbled up paper and rewriting it and compiling everything so that in the end to only a few papers were left. Unconsciously she got a little irritated, if they had better order on things from the start she wouldn't be sitting here cleaning up after them. They were the student council for crying out loud, they were suppose to be the elite of this school but what she saw of their plans didn't make her impressed. (Cagalli didn't know but at least some of it was an outcome of the council's inability to work together). She had calmed down considerably, for good or evil Cagalli was emotional person, she had a temper and she was easily affected but that also brought along an ability to return to normal just as quickly. Now she didn't exactly fell normal the encounter with him just now, the truth be told she didn't know have to deal with it at all, so she decided to bury her feelings for the present. At the moment she felt tense though because Zala could be coming any minute and as painful it was to admit she couldn't handle him at all. That was the reason she vowed to avoid him but he seemed to have decided not to make that easy for her. Doubtfully she wondered what Zala really wanted with her, there had to be loads of girls that were cuter than her that perhaps even liked him. So why did he have harass her? She made a deep sigh, it wasn't like she could tell on him either. If she did that there would be a great scandal and then she would be forced to go home again. She knew that she had to keep a low profile but she had only been here less than a week and she already got herself enough trouble to last a whole term and crowning the work was that stupid fight that got her this detention from hell. She glanced uneasily at the door, how long had she been here? She had the papers ready now she just wanted to go home but Zala didn't make any sign of showing up. Maybe she could to the student council room and hand them over, maybe he had forgotten about her? She got up and walked out into the corridor. "Let's see, how do I get there?" she said quietly to herself.

Unfortunately Cagalli's sense of direction wasn't her strong point, it wasn't so bad that she couldn't find her way home, it just wasn't her strong point. Maybe part of it was inherited but she also had lived in very protective environment where it wasn't necessary to know the way, somebody else was always accompanying her. Countless times she snuck out to play soccer with the boys and then found herself to be lost. She had given up and seated herself under a tree in park somewhere, hugging her knees, crying feeling sorry for herself. After a while she would always hear that kind voice "Cagalli…" and when she looked up she would see that big hand reaching too her, and that gentle smile. "Let's go home." He would say.

"Un!" she would answer wiping the tears away with her little hand and then clinging on to the hand that was so much larger than her own. Usually it was already late, and the evening sun's warm orange light suited his face perfectly because his face was warm also.

"You shouldn't make your father worry so much." He would say as they were walking towards the car.

"I know, I'm sorry…" she would feel guilty. But she couldn't help herself, she felt like a bird in a cage longing to stretch its wings. She knew she was being ungrateful, but she felt like she would suffocate if she didn't get out of that house. Now that she thought about it, maybe he had understood how she felt. Her father was usually fairly strict but at those times he was always kind and smile at her with that warm but little sad smile. And he was extremely busy but he almost always made the time to come and get her home.

"Father, I'm still only causing you trouble aren't I?" Cagalli muttered to herself. But this time she was on her own, he wouldn't come and save her.

Finally after several detours she managed to reach her destination. She heard an incredibly loud voice through the closed door, "What are they doing in there anyway?"

She was about to knock but hesitated. Then she got mad at herself, since when was she afraid to these kinds of simple things? Well it was true Zala was inside that room but this actually had to be better for her because now she wouldn't have to be alone with him.

Taking a deep breath she knocked at the door and slowly opened it, "Excuse me" she tried carefully but it didn't seem to give a reaction at all. Her eyes widened when she saw the spectacle playing in front of her eyes. There was Zala wearing the same smirk as ever though it looked like it had become a little stiffer. But what surprised her was the guy with silver hair who was holding his collar and yelling him in the face. If it wasn't for the annoying screaming she felt she would have liked him immediately with the logic that the enemy of your enemy is your friend.

The others looked tired but their attention was directed at Zala and the loud guy with the weird hairstyle so they didn't notice her.

"Excuse me." She said a little louder voice than before but still no reaction. She started to get irritated, "Excuse me!" No reply. Now she was really pissed, how dared they waste her time like this?

"HEY, would you shut the hell up for a second!" she screamed with a voice that could match Yzak's.

In an instant the room became dead silent. Then, "Who the hell are you!"

"What do you care? Who the hell are you?" Cagalli answered irritated as she was.

"WHAT!"

"I know you. You're Miri's new friend, Cagalli right?" A guy with relaxed voice said.

"Yeah," Cagalli answered and looked at him and she thought she recognised him, "Eh, you're Dearka right? I've seen you in our classroom."

"I'm flattered you remember my name. You really saved us from Yzak's screaming just now, it was getting a little too much, thanks." Dearka smiled and Yzak looked like he was going to complain but he was interrupted by Cagalli,

"Aha so his name is Yzak." Cagalli nodded and looked at Yzak.

"Yzak Joule, vice president of the student council and don't you forget it." Yzak said abruptly.

"Ok…"

"I'm Nicol, I'm actually a first year. Nice to meet you Cagalli."

"Yeah, me too." Cagalli instantly liked him, it was nice to know that there were people in the student council that weren't complete jerks.

"Well if everybody is going to introduce themselves I might as well, I'm Rusty."

"Hi, I'm Cagalli."

"The name is Heine, I'm the secretary. Say Cagalli you were the one who beat up the Kira-fan club right? You're pretty tough aren't you?"

"Uh, well. It was self defence."

"I'm not blaming you, say how about a date?"

"What!"

"Just kidding, just kidding you're with Yamato right?"

"Well… that isn't really… Wait a minute, why do I have to tell you!" Cagalli blushed and tried to avoid answering the question. She didn't know what she felt about Kira, well she had only seen him as a friend but everyone else seemed to think they were together.

"Cute!" Heine said.

"Yes Cagalli really is a cute girl." Nicol agreed.

"Stop calling me that!" Cagalli blushed even more.

"But still…it's true!" Heine exclaimed happily.

"Anyway how come there're only guys in the student council? Why aren't there any girls?" Cagalli didn't want the subject to continue any further.

"Now that you mention it, it feels pretty lonely to be surrounded by only guys. Aaa, wouldn't be great if Cagalli was in the it too. The closest thing we have to a girl is Athrun here, but I'm afraid that's not doing it for me."

Cagallli dared to cast an eye on Athrun and he looked a little irritated so maybe even he could loose his cool? Maybe this was his weak point? Well she could relate because she was often mistaken for a boy when she was not wearing school uniform. _"Wait a minute, what am I thinking? There is no way I have anything in common with that bastard. Keh, he's supposed to be a guy but he looks like a woman, pathetic. He would make a great transvestite though."_

"By the way, you haven't said anything Athrun aren't you going to introduce yourself?"

"I don't need an introduction, I'm sorry to say I've already met him. Oi Zala, I'm finished," She said and handed him the old monstrous pile and the new much reduced pile, "Can I go home now?" With the comfort of being surrounded by the others she looked him straight in the eye. And she saw how his countenance turned to a smirk again. She was seething again, was it possible to hate someone more than she hated him?

"Alright Yula, you can go home now. If I see anything that needs corrections I'll contact you."

She didn't like the sound of that, if there weren't any flaws he probably would make one up just to harass her. But that didn't matter right now, she just wanted to go home.

"Well then, Mr. Zala, everyone, I'll take my leave. Please excuse me." She said and made a light bow when raised her head she caught a glimpse of Zala and again and he looked irritated again. As she walked towards her locker she was thinking about his reaction. Maybe, just maybe she found out something. Something she could tackle Zala with, he liked to tease and harass her but what if he didn't get any reaction? What would happen if she was cold and super-polite instead of getting angry? It would surely be difficult because it went against her nature but it in this case it would definitely be worth a try.

I

"Ok, what was that about Athrun? Why did she have business with you? And above all she seems to hate your guts." Dearka asked.

"Hmm, a girl that hates Athrun Zala? Interesting." Yzak said thoughtfully.

"Don't forget she's dating Kira." Heine laughed.

"Bastard I didn't mean it like that!"

"Well yeah, Fllay would beat the crap out of you if you did." Dearka grinned.

"Why the hell would I care what that woman thinks!" Yzak screamed angrily trying to hide the slight colouring of his cheeks which, of course, didn't fool anyone.

Athrun was starting to get a headache, why were they never doing the things they were supposed to do? How long was he supposed to be with these people? Couldn't everybody shut up? Frankly he was irritated, he wasn't prepared for the fact that Yula might come here. He should have gone there sooner but he had thought it would be fun to let her wait a little longer. A miscalculation you could say, he hadn't wanted the others to know what she was doing. Well it wasn't like the situation was irreparable, after all he had Mr. Fllaga as an alibi. He was confident that Yula wouldn't snitch on him either, of course he had no proof but he had a gut feeling that she wouldn't. That kiss… it wasn't like he was like he was the only one doing it, she seemed to enjoy it, albeit most unwillingly. He chuckled a little to himself, he was pretty sure he had her. Just one thing bothered him, he didn't like the way she left. That reaction wasn't half as funny as her anger eruptions.

"Athrun, you didn't answer the question."

"There is a simple answer to the first question, Mr. Fllaga asked me to take care of her detention so I made her clean up some of our stuff, hence the documents. Why she doesn't seem to like me I can only guess, but I don't really care it's not like she's anything special." Athrun said with a bored look on his face.

"Do you have holes for eyes? I mean she's adorably cute!"

"Hee, unfriendly as usual Athrun. I'm telling you, you're going to regret it someday."

"Whatever." Athrun said and shrugged, "More importantly if you want to be able to go home today we'd better get this done. Unexpectedly it seems like Miss Yula did a pretty good job so that'll save us some time."

"Thank you Cagalli-cutie, you saved us!" Heine exclaimed.

"Uh, she's not here anymore you know." Rusty said.

"I know I just wanted to say it."

I

I

Cagalli locked the door behind her, and sank to the floor. She stayed sitting there for who knows how long, it was as if all she had been drained of all energy and now she was just staring at the floor with empty eyes. She had pushed away her feelings to get out of there, with all the effort she could muster she had done what it took, because she was good at pushing herself but now she felt emotionally drained. It had become dark before she got home but she hadn't bothered to turn on the lights, it was better that way because she felt like she could hide in the dark.

Finally she got up and went to the bathroom, turned on the lights and looked at the reflection in the mirror and it was like it belonged to another person, blank eyes staring back at her. She started to brush her teeth, she wanted to get clean, she wanted to brush away the remains of him. But it wouldn't work, she brushed for half an hour and she started to bleed again, but she didn't feel any cleaner, so eventually she gave up. She didn't bother to shower because she knew it wouldn't help. She didn't bother to eat because she wasn't hungry. She decided to go to bed, if she tried to sleep maybe she would feel better tomorrow.

I

Cagalli sat in an empty classroom, she was so stupid why had she got herself into detention again? The orange light of dusk was filling the room, it was such a warm colour so why did it feel so cold? Well it's true that a classroom shouldn't be so empty and she felt a little lonely. She looked expectantly at the door wouldn't he come soon? She scribbled a little in her notebook when she heard the door opened. He stood there as he had done before, with a smug grin on his face. The flowing colour was colouring his face, it was a warm colour but his face was cold, she felt it. Come to think of it she had never seen him smile an honest smile, not once. Probably he wasn't even capable but she didn't care.

She knew that he wanted it so she pretended to be angry, "You again! Don't you have anything better to do than harass me?" She glared at him.

"No, not really." He sniggered.

She got up from her chair and walked against him, "Just because you're the president of the student council and the teacher told you take care of my detention don't give you right to do what you want."

"Well perhaps, but I know that you want it, am I wrong?" He asked amused.

"Yeah, bastard you're wrong!"

"You're a liar, Cagalli…" He grabbed her wrist and pushed her against the wall.

A leg was pushed between hers and she felt the firm grip around her wrists tightening as he pressed them against the wall and emerald green eyes was glimmering dangerously close. She opened her mouth to protest just because she should, but it was filled with his, soft lips and a tongue was finding its way into her mouth. Instinctively she moved her tongue with his and a fever was spreading violently throughout her body to an intensity she had never felt before almost like intoxication, a simple thing like breathing became difficult to do and her mind seemed to be emptied of thoughts. They repeated the kiss over and over and gradually the grip around her wrists loosened, they must be free now, she absentmindedly thought.

She stiffened, two hands were placed on her thighs and they were moving steadily upwards beneath her skirt. She shivered but it was out of pleasure.

"You're feeling it don't you Cagalli? You can't hide it for me..." That voice, she couldn't fight against it nor did she want to, it was provocative but somewhere stained with desire. That orange light foreboding the night was filling the classroom. His long slender fingers moving.

"OUUUAAH!" Cagalli screamed. The orange was gone and it now was totally dark around her. After a while she got used to it and she recognised it as her own room and her own bed. Suddenly she felt sick and rushed to bathroom and threw up, afterwards she sat on the floor in her bathroom panting, exhausted.

She was relived, it had only been a nightmare, but at the same time she felt very disturbed because it had felt so real. And disgustingly enough she could still feel the lingering effects of it, the inside of her body was still feverish. She brushed her teeth again to get rid of the taste of vomit and took a shower to cool down and wash away the dirty feeling. She went back to the bedroom and looked at the time. It was 3.00 am. She tried in vain to go to sleep again, but sleep wouldn't come.

I

I

"Come on Cagalli, it'll be fun." Miriallia tried to cheer her up.

"Yeah, you don't have to look like we're bringing you to the guillotine, the fact is that you never had a boyfriend and you want to change that right? In that case this will help you on the way. And it will be fun, at least for us." Fllay added with an evil smile.

"I get it." Cagalli answered sulkily.

So they headed to the shopping district where Fllay and Miriallia dragged Cagalli through countless of shops. At first she resisted their picks but after a while she just followed the flow because it was too exhausting to keep up with Fllay's pace otherwise. How could they have so much energy, how many stores could they go through before they passed out? In the end she ended up with a whole bunch of bags containing things she never had bought in her entire life. Come to think of it she really hadn't been shopping much at all before she came here. Anyway she had ended up quite a few new things. First they had bought clothes, a short skirt, jeans but not the kind of loose jeans that Cagalli was accustomed to but tight, girly jeans and a few tight shirts that Fllay said looked sexy and to match open sandals with a little heel. Later they had bought perfume, and a little make-up like lip-gloss and mascara and Fllay had instructed her how to use it.

It had been fun though, Cagalli had never had any girl friends before therefore it wasn't strange that she hadn't done things like this before. It felt like there were a lot of things that she had missed out on, so it had been fun and the outfit would have looked cute if some else had worn it. But secretly she didn't have any intention to wear it she just followed because she thought it would make them happy. It was a good thing money wasn't an issue because it had cost quite a bit even Cagalli could understand that. Fllay's daddy was a famous politician and because his guilty conscious he couldn't see her so much he had always let her get what she wanted. Leaving Fllay a bit spoiled and perhaps a lack of understanding that others might not have the same financial situation as her as Cagalli understood it.

"Ahhhh I'm tired." Mirallia sighed as they seated themselves in a café.

"Isn't that supposed to be my line? You two really are trying to killing me. I wonder if I don't prefer the guillotine to this slow torture to death, you know I have a game tomorrow don't you?" Cagalli said not totally honestly but she couldn't resist complaining a little.

"Oh shut up Cagalli, I know you had a good time." Fllay answered back.

"But Fllay, are you trying to ruin me? I don't think I can afford go shopping with you too often."

"When you don't have anything of course it's gonna cost a little, why do you bother about such small details?"

"I have to agree with Cagalli on this one though, not every one has unlimited access to papa's credit card."

"I know that! But Cagalli didn't say anything…" Fllay said a little put off.

"It's OK, if I didn't have the money I wouldn't have bought it."

"See?" Fllay gave Miriallia a look full of meaning.

Cagalli decided to change the subject, "I saw Dearka the yesterday."

"So? You saw him today to when he was pestering me in our classroom as usual." Miriallia said with sulky look on her face.

"I mean I saw him when I had detention yesterday, I didn't know he was in the student council."

"Yes he is, and bunch of other hopeless idiots too, some are worse than others and louder, you'd think your eardrums would burst when he open his mouth."

"Ah! That must be Yzak." Cagalli recognised the description.

"Hahaha, that's right. Making a fool of himself as usual right?" Fllay laughed.

"Making a fool of himself… I don't know if I would say that but I was a bit surprised. I don't know if I'm in a position where I can say this about others but he seemed to be a little violent."

"Fllay you're always saying bad things about him, I really don't know why you want be with him."

"Eh?" Cagalli said with a slightly stupid look on her face, "You're into that Yzak?"

"Well yeah, he may be an idiot. But he has his good sides too. He's honest, he's cute despite the hairstyle, he has money."

"Yeah, and he's a momma's boy."

"True, but at least I have moved on, and that's more than I can say about you." Fllay retorted.

"Moved on?" Cagalli asked.

"Yeah, Miri…"

"Hey Fllay!"

"It's all right to tell Cagalli, right?"

"It's OK, if you don't want to tell me you don't have to." Cagalli, thought about her own problems and she hadn't the smallest intention of sharing them with her newfound friends so she had understanding for Miriallia.

"It's all right you can tell her." Miriallia said after a little hesitation.

Miriallia had been childhood friends with boy named Tolle, not only that their parents were friends too. And before they knew it friendship had turned to love and from second year in junior high school they started dating. Everybody thought it was a great thing, their parents too.

"I thought it was the obvious thing to do because it was like so obvious that they had a crush on each other so why not go for it?"

When it was time for high school it turned out so that they were going to different schools and it was only natural they less of each other. She had noticed that he had grown a little distant and that the time he had for her grew lesser and lesser. Miriallia didn't think much of it though because she too was very busy with school and there was much more homework than before.

Then one Saturday when Tolle had cancelled their date because he said he had to study for a test, Miriallia decided to go out shopping with Fllay instead. When they sat in a café to rest from the effort just like they were doing now, Miriallia cast an eye outside the window where she saw Tolle talking with another girl. He was smiling, he looked at the girl with gentle eyes. And it hurt, she remembered that look, it was like a far away dream. She knew he used to look at her that way but how long was it since the last time, now he only looked at her irritatingly. Like she was in the way, so she thought. Now she understood why, he was seeing someone else, he had been lying to her all this time. Tears started to fall silently as she watched him laugh and lean forward and place a kiss on the girl's cheek.

Fllay noticed that Miriallia looked strange, "Miri… why are you crying?" When she didn't answer Fllay tried to find whatever she was looking at, her gaze wandering and suddenly stopped when she saw Tolle. She looked at Miriallia again and felt incredible rage when she saw her face filled with sadness.

"That cheating son-of-a-bitch bastard, I'm gonna punch him in the face." Fllay got off her chair abruptly but was hindered by Miriallia gripping her wrist.

"Fllay, don't…" Miriallia looked at her with begging eyes. But Fllay shook off her hand, "Like hell I won't, and you're coming with me! You have to confront him now in front of that girl so she'll know!" A fuming Fllay forcibly dragged Miriallia out of the café.

"You! What the hell are you doing?" Fllay pushed Tolle shoulders.

"Eh" When Tolle saw them his face turned ash grey, "Miri…"

"What is this, Tolle, tell me that this is a misunderstanding. Don't say you have been lying to me all this time."

"Miri, I…" He started hesitantly but was interrupted by the unknown girl.

"Tolle who's that girl! What is she to you?" she demanded to know.

"She's just a childhood friend, but we're not so close any more."

"What, you lying son-of-a-bitch! She's your fuckin' girlfriend!" Fllay screamed, exploding with anger.

"What does she mean by "girlfriend", explain now" the girl said.

"Who are you, is what I want to know." Fllay spat out.

"She's my girl friend." Tolle cut in, "I'm sorry, I meant to tell you, I didn't want for you to find it out like this."

"So it's true…" Miriallia said while never stopping tears were running down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, I hope we still can be friends."

"Friends? Sure." Miriallia answered with a hollow voice.

"Well I'll see you around…"

"Yeah"

Tolle took the girls hand and started to walk away. Miriallia couldn't do anything but watch, she could nothing but stare as the boy she had known since they were born, the first boy she loved were walking away. She heard a distant voice calling her back to reality, "Miri! Miri! Are you listening?"

"What Fllay?"

"Not "What Fllay", the question is: are you really going to let him get away like this?"

"What can I do, he's clearly dumped me."

"Well, are you going to let him off so easily?

"I don't want to get revenge, I just want to forget about him."

"I won't force you, but still I think he's getting off way to easy."

"Let's just go home now."

I haven't talk to him once since then, I don't answer the phone when he calls, he has been a few times to my house but my mom won't let him in because I don't want to see him. I didn't just loose a boyfriend, I lost my best friend. I was really stupid." Miriallia concluded the story.

"I'm so sorry Miriallia" Cagalli said.

"Why are you apologising? It's not like you have something wrong." Seeing Cagalli's worried look she continued, "You don't have to worry about me, I'm totally over him."

"…" Cagalli didn't know what to say, she felt a sting of guilty conscience. She almost wished that she hadn't been told about this because it reminded her on how much she wasn't telling them. Miriallia trusted her so much that she would let her know this and she didn't put any trust in them at all. But it couldn't be helped, if she wanted to stay in school and keep them as friends she had to keep her secrets to herself. When she said sorry she sort of apologised for keeping them out, but that, Miriallia had no idea of.

"That's why I don't want anything to do with that womanizing hentai Dearka."

"Oh, come on Miri, he's obviously mad about you and he's kind of cute despite being the looser he is."

"Are you supporting him or not?"

"Who knows?" Fllay laughed.

"I think I better be getting home now. I'm really tired and I have a game tomorrow so." Cagalli changed the subject because she felt like she would collapse any minute now.

"Now that you mention it you look pale, are you sure you're alright?" Miriallia said worrying a little.

"I'm fine, it's just that I couldn't sleep very well last night."

"Ok, let's go then. And we'll come and cheer for you tomorrow!" Fllay said.

"Eh, but you don't have to do that. It's Saturday you probably have better things to do."

"Don't worry about it, we'll definitely come!"

"Thanks" Cagalli was a little touched by thier kindness, she definitely had found great friends.

I

It was Saturday, Cagalli woke up early not because of the soccer game she had today. She had dreamt that dream again, that light again and that smile again and that feverish feeling in her body again. It confused her to no end, in the dream she wanted him so bad she could cry but in reality she hated him right? Why was she having dreams like this? Anyway Zala couldn't like her, he didn't treat her as if he liked her. And his smile wasn't honest, but why did she felt like the kiss was? If he didn't like her why did he kiss her?

Questions were spinning inside her head, but she couldn't find any answers. But the biggest question was the weird feeling in her stomach she had every time she thought about him, when she thought about those piercing green eyes that seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. And she hated him for it. And she hated herself for feeling this way.


	4. Best Friends

Hej igen! ("Hi again" in Swedish) "Jag älskar asucaga" means "I love asucaga". ("Jag älskar dig" means "I love you")

It would be fun to write asucaga fanfiction in Swedish but no one who's interested would be able to read it so I'm not going to do it.

Athrun: "Jag älskar dig Cagalli!"

Cagalli: "… Jag älskar dig också…"

Athrun: "Jag kan inte hålla mig längre, jag måste ha dig."

Cagalli: "N- nej, inte här."

Athrun: "Jag kan inte hålla mig längre Cagalli."

Cagalli: "V- vänta… aa… inte där… nnng."

Athrun: "Cagalli Cagalli Cagalli."

HAHAHAHAhehehehe kluck kluck skojar bara, but it would be fun.

It really has been a while hasn't it? I almost feel bad that the first update in ages is such a messed up chapter.

Thank you thank you thank you to: Seedling, allie, Cherry360, Jeena, Yukimi noh Daiomoru, cathrun, Majia, Lamu, MyouseiSeed, cottongreentea, jenniferseedlover, purple1, meg and asga. I'm very happy for the nice comments.

About Cagalli's dream in the previous chapter, it was supposed to be almost the same as the actual event. I meant it to be that way because it was a traumatic experience for Cagalli and her nightmare is that she relives it. But if you read closely there are several differences especially on Cagalli's part, meaning that she's more honest about what she feels in the dream than in reality which makes it so much worse for her because she doesn't want those feelings. That was my intention but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. It was a bad call on my side.

To you people who absolutely can't stand Fllay, I'm sorry (actually I'm not sorry) but she won't be a bad guy in this fic (or any of my fics for that matter). But I can say it won't be KxF, I'm not fond of that coupling I think Fllay is much better with Yzak plus I actually like KxL.

About Tolle being a jerk, it just came naturally because I've always preferred DeaMir. But when I read what I had written I remembered that I've read a couple of stories somewhere that have him as a bad guy, I don't generally read DeaMir stories so I don't know how they portray Tolle. Tolle was just a nice guy in SEED, he didn't exactly leave any lasting impression on me so I took the liberty of making a him sort of a villain.

I'd be happy if you read the new chapter and if you feel like it please review and oh! By the way I don't own Gundam SEED or DESTINY,

* * *

**Best Friends**

I wouldn't say I'm a morning person but I have no particular problem getting up in the morning. Most people would say they don't like school but I actually like it. Well I don't like studying more that your average high school kid but despite appearance I'm actually a rather diligent student and I am part of the student council after all. But come to think of it that might not be merit after all. Anyway the reason why I like school is because I like to socialize, I know quite a lot of people throughout the school and you could actually go so far that socializing with people and in the process studying them is a little hobby of mine.

Today's Monday the beginning of a new week and a mountain of work for the student council, not that I'm complaining, being in the student council is very interesting. It's like a social experiment, "What will happen if you put a group of people together who absolutely don't get along and try to get them accomplish something." very interesting if you ask me (you know my hobby). Well the main reason to the endless disputes that take place in that room is Athrun Zala and Yzak Jule. Yzak's fits of rage are definitely amusing but I have to say I never get tired of looking at Athrun's expressionless face. The thing is it's not totally expressionless. If you look closely you see hints of scorn, irritation, boredom and sometimes that sniggering grin of his, suggesting that there may even be a real person inside that shell. Who knows, will anyone ever find out? The mystery known as Athrun Zala continues.

"Good Morning Heine."

"Good Morning Mum."

This is my mum, she is a scientist, she works at a big medical company, if you wonder if I'm going to follow her footsteps the answer is no, no way, never. I couldn't stand being cramped up inside a lab surrounded by a bunch of ugly people. Not that my mum is ugly, of course not, after all she is _my_ mother. Only kidding, but I definitely don't want to work in a lab.

My dad is a high up in a multinational company so he is often away from home and today is no different.

No I'm not going to follow my parents' careers because I know just what I'm destined to do, I'm going to be a pop-idol. I mean why not, I have everything that it takes: I'm great looking, the ladies love me and guys look up to me, all in all I have great charisma. I know it might seem like I'm full of myself but what's wrong with a little confidence? There are too many people who belittle themselves and have no confidence at all. Besides it's true so it's not like I'm only bragging. The only tiny problem is I'm not a very good singer but I hear they can fix that in the studio so I'm sure it won't be a problem.

I live pretty near school so I get there by bike, it's October so it's getting a little colder but today seems to be pretty warm and the weather is clear. I care about these things because when you ride a bike you get very exposed to the weather, try ride a bicycle while holding an umbrella and you'll know what I mean. And when you've spent half an hour trying to fix your hair, I don't need to tell you how frustrating it is when all effort is in vain because of rain. Hey that rhymed!

Here is a familiar sight: Miriallia and her "tail" otherwise known as Dearka, my friend and fellow student council member. You've got to give him credit though, he doesn't give up easily even though this seems to be a hopeless task. Maybe this is what it is to be in love or maybe what it is to be stupid, I won't judge anyone and either way it is interesting to watch.

"Miri, come on…"

"When did I give you permission to call me Miri? I have a name and it's Miriallia." Miriallia said irritably. Though I have to agree with Dearka she's cute she's a pretty scary woman.

"So I can call you Miriallia?" Dearka looks like he's beaming.

"No to you it's Miss Haww!"

Ouch, that was harsh. Truly scary that Miss Haww.

"That's too mean Miri…" He has obviously not listened to a word she said, come to think of it Dearka is pretty scary too.

Ah! He looks this way…what's the face? You look like you bitten in a lemon, aren't you glad to see me?

"Morning Dearka, how was the week-end?" I decided not to mention anything about his struggles with Miss Haww, I'm not a person who kicks someone who is already lying down.

Dearka smiles a little tiredly, "Oh, nothing special I just relaxed at home and forced Yzak to come over to play video-games."

"Hmm, somehow I can imagine how that went."

"Actually it went pretty well because Yzak won this time, although he's almost as bad at winning as he is at loosing." Dearka chuckles.

"Hehehe, too gloating right?"

"That's only the beginning of it mate."

"You have my sympathy."

"Cheers. Eh, where did Miriallia go? Sorry I'm going to catch up with her, see you later!"

"Yeah." I grin to myself.

That guy, he really got it bad. Maybe I should mention that it might be a good idea to back off for a while, give her space enough to know her feelings? The way things are going now things are never going to change. Maybe I should tell him some day, but honestly it's very interesting to watch. And maybe these are one of those things you should figure out on your own? Anyway hang in there Dearka!

Anyway I'm walking and saying hello to everybody I know but that's not important but as I come into the school building I see something that is:

Kira Yamato and Cagalli-cutie, I'm jealous Yamato how did you manage to get your perfect hands on the school's new idol? It's vexing but you two look absolutely perfect together, almost too good to be true. But I'm an openhearted man so I forgive you. Just be sure to treat your girl with respect or else I won't be so open minded, ne. Yamato said something to Cagalli-cutie and walks away, probably to his own locker. This is my chance to get my hands on her! …Just kidding but of course I will talk to her, I want to know everything there is to know about, "Cagalli-cutie! Congrats on the victory! Sorry I couldn't watch, but I can imagine you were great."

"Eh, "Cagalli-_cutie_"? Where did you get that from?"

"I made it up myself, perfect don't you think?"

"NO!"

"But it fits you perfectly. Your name is Cagalli and you're the cutest girl in this school."

"Don't joke like that…" now she really looks embarrassed, that is what I mean with Cagalli-cutie, you're just too cute.

"I'm dead serious you know, please don't take it as a joke."

"Stop it won't you?"

"Now don't be so cold, I promise I'm not trying to get between you and your boyfriend."

"I didn't know I had a boyfriend?" Why are you trying to deny it Cagalli-cutie? Is it because you don't want to hurt my feelings? I knew it, you're not only beautiful on the outside you have a beautiful heart too!

"Yamato right?"

"Ah, well, he's just a friend I'm telling you!"

"Sure, he's just a friend, I understand. Then how about a date? You and me after school?"

"I'm sorry I think I'll have to pass on that."

"Why, do you have other plans?"

"Why do I have to tell you?"

"That's cold you have just flatly refused me and I don't get to hear the reason." I pretend to be hurt and give her my patented puppy-eye look,

"Uh, I promised Kira I'd follow him and buy a new video game…" which seems to work every time.

"So you're having a date with Yamato."

"It's not a date." Yes, that's a date.

"Whatever you say…" Well if you don't want to be honest I won't force you.

Cagalli-cutie opens her locker and a flood of letters pours out of it.

"What is this?" Cagalli says looking astonished.

"Can't you tell? It's love letters of course." I pick one up. "Give me that!" she says and snatch it away from me.

"But this is from a girl?" Cagalli now looking confused.

"Oh, come on now, nobody cares about that those kinds of things anymore."

"…I'm going to class now."

"Aren't you going to read it?"

"…I don't have time right now. Anyway I can't understand why anyone would want to give love letters to me."

"Why not?"

"Well I'm really nothing special…" …If there is one thing I hate is people degrading themselves, stop doing that!

"You should be more self-aware, it's obvious you're very popular. You're mocking the people who have given you these letters if you say stuff like that."

"…"

"Well you're going to have to refuse them anyway."

"I really need to get to class right now …thanks…" she says and smiles a little.

"See you around." I watch her back as she walks away. She's really fun to tease but of course I respect her, I respect all women. In my book all women are goddesses.

They may be goddesses but they can be truly scary too, here is Miriallia's even more frightening best friend Fllay arguing together with Yzak. But I feel a little sorry for her if she is after that Yzak, the king of thickheadedness when it comes to these kinds of things. Of course I wouldn't dream of saying that to the person himself, hell would break loose. Wait a minute, that might be funny, "Yzaaaak my darling!"

"What the hell are you saying Heine! Don't ever call me that again if you don't want me to beat the crap out of you!"

"Don't be so cold, Yzak darling. You act like you and I yesterday never happened." and I give them my "Oh, you have hurt me in a way that will never be healed no matter what you do to compensate me"-look. Hmm, maybe I should aim for acting too, I definitely have the talent.

This is so fun, Yzak looks like he's going to explode any minute, aah it's good to be alive. Fllay looks at me as if I'm crazy, I better give her a wink or I'm history. So I gave her a meaningful smile, there is no risk of Yzak noticing it but Fllay is pretty sharp. Anyway it's a gentleman's duty to help a lady in distress, anyone, even Fllay can use a little help against Yzak. She gives me a piercing gaze and then turns to Yzak, "So that's why you won't ask me out, if you're gay you should just say so."

"WHAT? I'M NOT GAY!" Yzak screams and everybody in the hallway looks at him, even he seems to notice this.

"Ehem, anyway you me date today after school." Yzak turns to Fllay.

"What makes you so sure I'll accept so easily?"

"What? What more do you want woman?"

"I'll think about it…"

"What, hey where are you going woman!"

"Firstly my name is Fllay not "woman", secondly I'm going to class now. I said I'll think about it."

"You better be waiting after class today, and I will not tolerate any delays."

"Whatever."

"Bye Yzak" I smile widely and wave at him.

He gives me a death glare, "You stop spreading funny rumours or I won't be accountable for my actions."

Oooh, scary… But I guess I better give him a break for a while after this.

I feel like Cupid today, I just go around spreading love to everybody. It feels like nothing can stop me.

But as I'm walking to class I meet _someone_ who might stop me: Athrun Zala. But then again being the nice guy I am, I just can't leave him alone can I. He sees me but tries to avoid my gaze, but things won't go so easy, not if I have any say in it.

"Good morning Athrun!" I say smiling.

"Heine, what do you want?" he says stiffly.

"What is this, do I have a reason to say good morning to my favourite blue haired student president?"

"No, its just I know you. You're doing it to bother me right?" Still as unfeeling as usual.

"Haven't you heard "And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make♪.""?

"What the hell is that bull-shit?"

"Don't call it bull-shit, it's The Beatles and besides it's true… in most cases. If you don't give any love how can you expect to receive any from someone else?"

"You do know that half of the girls in this school would give anything to be with me?"

"So does that make you feel loved?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Oh, I think we hit a nerve."

"Did I say I wanted them to like me? Because I don't."

"And you're happy with things as they are?"

"Yes, I'm very comfortable and I want to keep it that way without you bothering me. Excuse me I have a class right now."

But Athrun, if you keep going like this you're going to be exactly like that father of yours you hate so much. I want to help my, ehem, cute junior schoolmate but he certainly makes it difficult. Sometimes I wonder if Athrun already is beyond help, or maybe I'm not the one who can do it, at least I'm not reaching him one bit. This really makes me depressed I better go and find Nicol. Damn it, class begins now, I guess I have to wait until lunch. But the worst thing is that Athrun ruined my love high.

xXxXx

It was Monday and it was lunch time and that usually meant Athrun and Kira had lunch together because both of them took advanced programming classes which were scheduled on Mondays after lunch. Athrun was walking towards the cafeteria, he hadn't talked to Kira in a while which was pretty rare, Athrun liked to hang with Kira because he felt like he could be himself. Kira knew of all of his "misconducts" and he could talk to him about anything. Kira would always say his opinion but he didn't judge him even though there were many times they didn't agree on things. Athrun knew that Kira didn't like him playing around but he still accepted him. Kira was his best friend, his only real friend. They had known each other since they were little kids and the bond between them was really strong. That's why it felt a little weird not to have spoken to Kira in several days. He knew why, and somewhere back in his mind guilty conscience was weighing him down. It was about Yula, it had been so fun to tease her that he had completely forgotten his resolve to talk to Kira about it but he didn't want to hurt Kira because of some girl. He had to ask Kira and if she was his girlfriend he would have to back off, as unfortunate it would be. Probably she wasn't because Kira would tell him about something that important right? Kira trusted him, and he trusted Kira. That's all there was to it. But somewhere there was a shadow of a doubt, what if Kira didn't trust him enough to confide in him? Come to think of it, it was almost always Athrun who talked about himself and his girls, Kira hadn't talked about any girls ever since that whole Fllay thing. He knew it was stupid to care about rumours but somehow they were eating their way into his consciousness anyway. Did Kira really trust him?

The cafeteria was as noisy as ever, he scanned the room searching for familiar brown hair and purple eyes.

"Hey Athrun!" He heard Kira's voice from behind and turned around and looked in to Kira's smiling face.

"Hello, Kira."

"What did you say?"

"I said: Hello Kira!"

"Ok, what's up?"

"Why don't we go some other place, the roof top or somewhere. It's almost impossible to talk in here!"

"Ok, but it's in the middle of October!" Kira smiled.

"But it's not cold and it's clear so I think it'll be ok, and besides," He smiled a troubled smile, "I feel much more comfortable eating if not a hundred people is staring at me." He said and cast an eye at the crowd of students and truly at least half of them were following their every move.

"Yeah you're right." Kira also looking a little troubled.

"You have a bento right?"

"Yeah, well mum made one as usual."

"Mrs. Yamato's bentos really are the best."

"Really? I wouldn't know, I think Athrun's obentos are a lot better though, well maybe because I'm so used to mum's cooking."

"So, you wanna trade?"

"Really?" Kira said with an expectant look on his face.

Athrun chuckled a little at his friend's expression, "Yeah, it nice with a change for me as well. And I think you mom is a much better cook than me."

"It's a deal."

They reached the rooftop and as expected there were no one there but them, relieved they seated themselves by the fence. In reality it was against school regulations to be on the roof but of course the rule was constantly violated by the pupils. Once or twice every term the school would make controls and give detention to everyone who was there but that didn't stop anyone. Sure the door was supposed to be locked but someone always got hold of the key and usually it was left unlocked.

"Did you do the homework for today?" Athrun asked, knowing Kira's personality that wasn't obvious.

"You ask like you doubt I've done it." Kira said pouting.

"Well have you?"

"I did it last night."

"How late? You look a little red eyed."

"…around two o'clock, maybe a little later..."

"You're hopeless Kira, how are you planning to keep awake all day?"

"But I was so near the end of a game I had to finish it. I thought you could wake me up if I fall asleep, ne ne ne Athrun."

"And later you'll want to borrow my notes right? Pull yourself together." Athrun sighed.

"I'm telling it's all right, programming is my best subject."

"Well that's true, you're better than me, maybe I can borrow your notes instead."

"Yeah, like you need that."

"By the way Athrun, it was a while since I heard anything about a girlfriend, you always have a girlfriend."

"I told you before right, I'm too fed up with everybody. Of course I've had a few casual but nothing more than that." Athrun felt a little annoyed by the question _"Isn't it I who should ask that question?"_ he thought and asked it but in a different tone, "Isn't I who should ask that question, I'm hearing rumours about you and that new girl Yula in your class." he said with a grin on his face.

"You mean Cagalli? No she's not my girlfriend."

"Oh really? She's Cagalli to you I hear."

"She's Cagalli to everybody else too. What's this Athrun it's not like you to bother yourself about rumours?"

"No but I'm interested in what happens to you and we haven't talked for several days. So you're saying that you not interested in her at all?" _"OK, that wasn't completely honest, but if Kira isn't interested in her then maybe I can wait a while before I tell him anything about it, well it's not like I've done anything to her yet. So there is nothing to tell right?"_

"I wouldn't say that, but I have barely just met her. I think she's cute and nice to hang out with but we're just friends. I don't know yet… Athrun you seem very eager …you're not after Cagalli right? She's my friend and I don't want you to treat her like you treat all other girls."

"_Why did he have say that, now he's ruining my fun anyway. It seems like it was the right decision keep quiet after all. Kira forgive me but if you don't have a crush on her I'm going to have her."_

"Athrun?" Kira's question woke him up from his thoughts.

"Eh? Kira I don't think there is any risk of that. You see Yula hate me and I'm totally uninterested in girls like her, not worth the trouble."

"She hates you? What makes you think that? Cagalli gets along with everybody."

"_Kira don't you know she got in a fight with your fan girls?"_ "Everybody else calls her Cagalli, I call her Yula and she calls me Zala."

"Wait a minute this means you have met Cagalli?" Kira said as if he suddenly realised something.

"Well yeah, that must be pretty obvious by now. I met her by coincidence when I was about to leave the student council room and I happened to open the door in her face."

"You did what? Did she get hurt?"

"No but she fell on her back." Athrun chuckled.

"Athrun…" Kira said reproaching him for laughing. "So this is why she hates you? Even if she's a little fiery it doesn't seem enough to make her hate you."

"Hum, well I did kind of make fun of her when she lay there on the floor."

"Athrun!"

"I couldn't help myself it looked too funny." Athrun laughed apologetically

"You're hopeless, so now she hates you."

"It seems like it, plus I made her do a lot of the student council's work when she had detention."

"You didn't!" Kira looked shocked.

"Oh yes." Athrun smiled evilly.

"You truly are evil Athrun, no wonder she hates you." Kira shuddered as he did every time he thought about the student council. He thought he would rather wear the girl's uniform for a whole day than have anything to with them.

"Hey it isn't entirely my fault, it was Mr. Fllaga who handed over the responsibility to me because of his date with Ms Ramias.

"Mr. Fllaga had a date with Ms Ramias! How did he convince her to do that?"

"Don't ask me, I don't know the particulars."

"I'll admit that Yula is fun to make fun of but otherwise I prefer more sweet and obedient girls." _"And usually that's true but sometimes it good with a little change. But I better stop talking about her so much or else he will get suspicious, Kira can be sharper than he looks. It doesn't feel so good lying to him like this but I feel like I'll go mad if I don't do something about my boredom soon." _

"Hmm… Well that is definitely true if you'd look at your previous record." Kira said with a sharp look in his eyes.

Suddenly they were interrupted by the sound of the door, _"Crap we've been found out."_ _"Oh no we've been found out."_

But Athrun broke out in a twisted smile when he saw who it was. The owner of the blond hair he had become so accustomed to see since only last week. At first she looked surprised but immediately that changed into a frown.

"Speaking of the devil." Athrun grinned.

Cagalli seemed to have decided to ignore him and turned to Kira, "I'm surprised to see you here I thought I would be the only one here since it's October and everything."

"You mean you didn't get lost again?" Athrun grinning wider.

"I don't remember addressing you Mr. Zala." Cagalli said with a blank face and cold voice.

"Well then Miss Yula, don't you think it's rude to intentionally ignore a person who's standing right in front of you?" Athrun retorted stiffly.

"I don't think you are in any position to call anybody else rude." Cagalli seemed to maintain her composure.

"I apologise for the comment I made just now, I know it's not an excuse but I felt provoked by your apparent intention to ignore me."

Cagalli looked surprised as if she hadn't expected an apology from him and seemed to have trouble to finding an answer. Athrun smiled secretly inside, _"So this is how she wants to play now? Does she think that this will keep me away, that I won't find it fun to tease her anymore? Well sorry Yula, it was a good effort. But unfortunately it's too late, I already know your true character. And the kiss, I know you're attracted to me even if you don't want to be. But if this is how you want to do it I can play along, for a while… especially now when Kira's watching. But I think you're loosing this one Yula, if you're trying to win this by a tactic that is _**my**_ speciality you're in over your head. Haven't you been taught to play your own strengths? Ma, this battle was decided from the beginning, you never stood a chance and now you're only making it easier for me."_

"But you have been rude to me many times before?"

"And you say you haven't?" Athrun said coldly.

"…" Cagalli didn't answer but looked displeased.

Kira a looked at the two of them, as Athrun had said it was pretty obvious that Cagalli disliked him and to Kira it seemed like Athrun didn't plan to change that. Normally he would want his best friend to get along with any new friend he got but this case was a little different and Athrun was different, he had never shown any interest to become friends with any of Kira's other friends. On the contrary Kira got the feeling that Athrun was only tolerating their existence but would rather have him all to himself. Kira hadn't been completely honest to Athrun, he knew that Athrun used to tell him openly about what happened in his life but somehow Kira couldn't bring himself to be honest about Cagalli. Honestly he didn't know exactly what he felt about Cagalli only that he felt a certain closeness to her. Maybe he was falling for her maybe he wasn't but one thing was certain, he did care a lot about her even though they had just known each other for a short time. So with that said and knowing Athrun, he definitely didn't want him to get involved with Cagalli, because he didn't want her to be hurt but also because maybe he didn't like the thought of Cagalli being with another guy and especially not Athrun.

Kira decided to break the cold war that had broken out between his two friends, "Athrun we'd better get to class now."

"Yeah, let's leave." Athrun said and started walking towards the door without giving Cagalli a second glance.

"Cagalli see you later, ok." Kira smiled apologetically and turned around and followed Athrun leaving a bewildered looking Cagalli behind.

Cagalli was confused, she hadn't expected her plan to work out so well. It went well so why did she feel a sting of disappointment?

* * *

TM-Revolution fans, please take no offence, I'm not saying that he can't sing. 


	5. Cold War

Thank you so much to: Craze Izumi, lalala, cute.princess, Yukimi noh Daiomoru, thousandbirds, purple1, asga, The Angles' Princess, cagals, sweet lisa, lamu, sweetlisetta, mohxo. Thanks for the reviews, you make me want to write more.

**Notice:** I'm going to change the rating to M for this fic, I'm terribly sorry if this inconvenience anyone, but due to the contents in future chapters it will be impossible to keep it at T. If you don't mind little more explicit situations please continue to read future chapters, just remember that it will be in the M-section.

I'm sorry that some didn't like the Heine perspective, I guess it's one of those things that funnier to write that to read, because I really had fun when I wrote it. That's why I decided to keep it even if I noticed that it didn't fit in so well with the mood of the rest of the story. This is fan-fic and I will take liberty to test different things but because of that it is very helpful to get comments because even if I partly write this for my own sake I don't want to be boring and I want you readers to be entertained by my stories.

I know that this is supposed to be romance/angst-story but maybe romance/drama would be better…

Again I'm battling with the English language, I'm doing my best but it takes time and it's really hard to convey all the nuances.

I talk too much…

* * *

**Cold War **

The school was a white building, the plaster really was white not dirty grey from years of exhaust fumes and dirty rain like white plaster usually was, not particularly new but not exceptionally old either, in appearance fairly typical of the time period in which it was built. Like a gigantic shoebox it stood there surrounded by smaller buildings in the same style plus a gymnasium. But the largest part of the school was the school yard, it was at least big enough to have room for a rather extensive garden, a 25 meter swimming pool and a soccer field with surrounding running track, parking space and on top of that a lot of dead space. And surrounding everything where walls and gates that where locked and you had to have a proper ID enter. Everything was neatly cared for, a considerable amount of money was put in the maintenance fund every year in order to keep the school's exterior presentable. It had, after all, a reputation to live up to.

The school didn't really rest on particularly old history, like prestigious schools usually did. But it had been founded by a very influential and respected man and by and by it had gotten a reputation of producing outstanding study results. And now the school had become the most prestigious in the country, the tuition fee was high but pupils who had scholarships were common.

The school grounds were huge and apparently they had torn down several blocks of the old neighbourhood in order to make way for it. Of course there had been violent protests but it had been a run down neighbourhood with a couple of centuries old ramshackle buildings and the people who had lived there had been poor with no means to lobby for their cause. There were some people who didn't want the buildings to be tear down because of their historic value but it was a fact that they were in terrible shape lacking the most fundamental necessities like running water. And if you wanted to restore them it would cost enormous sums and it was uncertain from were the money should come from and in the end the protests came to nothing. In an age when the economy was expanding drastically price of land was rising in the same pace. There was plainly no room for such a neighbourhood in such a central address. Curiously just across the river was a totally different type of neighbourhood than the scanty one that was making way for the school, in other words it was a perfect place for a school. The intended students were living near, and relatively it wouldn't cost so much money to demolish the old poor neighbourhood because still the price of land were kept in much lower level than other parts of the city.

Nowadays there were no poor people who lived near the school, it was a fashionable area where the upper middle class lived, not much of the old was left. The house that Kira lived in was in one of the few blocks that hadn't been torn down but had been heavily restored instead, they were rather big tree houses that had been the home of several families before but now were one-family houses. They had quite large gardens with old fruit trees, old sorts of apples, pears, plums and cherries that that were rare these days, delicate, but they tasted so much better than the tasteless apples you could find in the stores. Those houses were much sought after these days, and were so expensive that most people couldn't afford them.

In one of the corridors in that school a male student walked alone with a determined goal:

"Ah, Mr. Fllaga!" Athrun called as soon as he saw him.

"It's Mwu! Why can't you students understand that?"

"Well, anyway about the sports festival…"

"Oh, yeah I've read your proposal, looking good, looking good."

"Thank you, about the sports festival…"

"What about it, if you have any troubles just call me …Well look at the time, sorry to say I don't have time to chat. Got to go!" Mwu speeded up in order to shake free from Athrun. After all Mwu was only human and it was only human to do anything you could to avoid dealings with anything to do with the student council. Athrun knew that of course and used a sly tactic, "Wait! I need a favour, we need more people too help out. I wonder if you could help us or else it will be difficult to manage in time."

"I'm sorry Athrun my schedule is a liiiiittle bit tight right now."

"If you can't help us I wonder if you could ask Miss Yula to help out, she actually did a very good job before."

"Ah, the blond little kitten? Sure I'll talk to her." Mwu wiped of the cold sweat from his forehead.

"Thank you very much, I really appreciate it." _"You call her "kitten"? Even I think that sounds sleazy Mr. Fllaga."_

Athrun watched as a relieved Mwu were scampering off on light steps down the corridor. The seed was planted, now he just had to wait and watch the development. He was pretty sure Yula would do as Mwu told her because her sense of duty seemed very strong.

xXXx

"Ah, there is just the little kitten I've been looking for." Cagalli turned around just to look right into the face of Mwu La Fllaga. Instinctively looked around for means to escape but unfortunately the gods apparently hated her because there wasn't any. She knew that this man meant trouble but more importantly,

"Who are you calling kitten, old man!" Crap she yelled to a teacher, this wasn't good.

But Mwu didn't seem to mind the yelling, he did mind about another thing though, "Not old man! I'm only 29!"

"In that case I'm not a cat. You have no right to call me k-… that!"

"But you have a temper as a little tigress."

"This is bordering to sexual harassment."

"Wait, don't misinterpret me, I have no interest in you in that sense what so ever, I swear on my pride as a teacher."

"I wonder how much that is worth." Cagalli not impressed.

"Hey, I take my role as a teacher very seriously."

"Sure, sure… So what was it you wanted with me?" Cagalli said anticipating that something bad was coming, because, yes, every time he approached her it was because he wanted her to do something either bothersome or unpleasant.

"You know we have a sports festival coming up?"

"…Yes, unfortunately I do…" She said wearily, she didn't like the sound of this.

"Don't give me that face, it'll be fun. It's a chance for pupils bond, have fun and compete under friendly terms. It will boost the school spirit, I don't have to tell you how important that is."

"So what's that got to do with me?"

"Hey! You're a student of this school, it has everything to do with you."

"Yes but why do you talk about this now? Don't I just have to attend at the day itself?" Cagalli said sceptically.

"Well…yes, normally. But this is an opportunity for you to help make this day possible."

"Why would I want to do that? I'm already busy with the soccer team which _you_ made me join by the way. On top of that I have loads of studying to do and I live alone so I have to cook _"water for my ramen"_ and clean _"yeah that's right I should get a, eh what do you call them, vacuum cleaner!"_ for my self I don't have a mother to do it. So there you have it, I don't have time."

"I understand where you're coming from but I have a crisis on my hands here. I'm begging you." Mwu scratched his head troubled.

"Wait a minute, isn't this the student council's responsibility? Why should I have to help?"

"I know, I know, but they're too few."

"Isn't it just a result of their incompetence? And if anything I don't want to help Zala, he deserves everything he gets."

"Isn't that a little harsh?"

"No, I don't want anything to do with Zala."

"Ok, ok, ok, I get it. You don't like Athrun."

"Ok, as long as you understand. Well if you'd excuse me…"

"Wait! Even if you don't like Zala, think about all the others who will be affected. I'm sure everyone will be disappointed if we have to cancel the whole thing."

"Cancel?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid so." Mwu gave Cagalli a disappointed look.

"…It's really not my concern anyway…"

"Aren't you a part of this school? Don't you want to be a part of this school?" Mwu asked her seriously.

He had hit a nerve, in reality she desperately wanted to belong. It was probably the main reason she came here in the first place. She had never felt she belonged anywhere and she longed for people who would accept her just as she was. In that house she had been lonely, her father was working all the time and she couldn't see him very often and other than that there was of course Mana and sometimes Kisaka and people who worked for her father, those of the few who were aware of her existence. They were all nice but she couldn't have a normal relationship with them because they were employees and besides they were all grown-ups. Unable to stand it she snuck out to play with other kids but even if they let her play with them (she had a talent for soccer) she never felt like she was one of them. It was as if they could sense that she was different from them, which was the truth. They were all normal and they came from normal families with a mom and a dad and maybe siblings. They went to school and they had friends they had everything she didn't have and she was envious of them.

"…Ok, what do I have to do?"

"You're doing it? Great! Just go to their room after class and they'll fill you in on what to do."

xXXx

The student council room was room without windows and too small for its purpose. Probably it had been a room for storing school supplies before some politician came up with the idea that pupils should have right of co-determination in schools, which in the end pretty much landed the students with more work but not so much real power to influence. This was the room that was prepared in all haste and it had been left untouched since. The dirt-yellow paint was flaking off and the furniture was slowly but steadily falling apart. You would think it would be a bad idea to paint a room in that colour but apparently there was someone who had thought differently. There couldn't be a clearer sign than this room that the school management didn't think much of the student council because it contrasted to the excellent shape that the rest of the school was in. Sitting cramped up in this depressing room with people you didn't get along with didn't exactly work wonders with a temper that was fiery from the beginning especially if your name was Yzak Jule but every time he tried to keep his mood in an acceptable level. The acceptable level for Yzak was of course much higher than for a normal person's. Despite all this the student council was extremely popular among most of the students especially among the female half which of course could have something to do with the fact that the council members consisted solely of bishounen. One thing led to another and it was widely known that being a member was a great way to pull girls even if you weren't quite so attractive yourself. From the beginning the student council had consisted male students and for some reason still to this day it was a tradition that only boys would enter. There had been a few brave girls who had tried to get in but since the members were elected by the students all those efforts had been futile.

Athrun looked cool and aloof as usual where he sat at the end of the table, Yzak sat at the other end and if you would joke about it you could say that they looked like a quarrelling old rich couple at a dinner party except the environment was totally different. Of course Yzak didn't have any room for such jokes and he would probably explode if he would hear something remotely like it. It went without saying that Yzak wasn't exactly pleased with being seated facing the person he disliked the most. But it had been decided long ago that the seating would be like that and it was nothing he could do about it. In that sense it almost resembled a club in that sense that in clubs traditions always seem to be holy. Yzak really wasn't the kind who wanted to break traditions but just in this case he had wanted to make an exception but eventually he hadn't said anything.

"I hereby declare this meeting opened." Athrun said in an experienced manner, "First on today's agenda is of course the sports festival. As you all know if we don't do something radical we're not going to make it, and that is unacceptable. I will not tolerate any failures as long as I'm the president." He said and gave everyone a very cold piercing stare which gave them all goose bumps.

There was an uncomfortable silence for while and Yzak was the first who regained his composure, "So, what do you have in mind? Like you said you're _the president_, you better have thought of something." Yzak said sarcastically, but the truth was Yzak absolutely didn't want to fail either, if there was one thing he was scared of was to lose face. He absolutely didn't want to face his mother's disappointed face so he had struggled very hard up until this point to avoid that.

"For someone who is large part of the reason why we haven't gotten any further than this you sure talk big, Yzak." Athrun answered Yzak's attack with maintained composure.

"Wha-?" Yzak was about to throw a fit but he was stopped by Dearka.

"Yzak, don't swallow the bait every time. Relax, we're in deep trouble right, we have to start working together on this right now."

"You too Athrun, don't provoke him like that. You said yourself that we have to make progress soon or the whole thing will go down the drain right?"

"Alright, alright let's get down to business. Because of our problems I asked Mr. Fllaga to help us considering he is the teacher in charge of this thing, not surprisingly he wasn't all that willing."

"So you're saying it didn't get us anywhere?" Rusty said.

"Don't be so hasty to jump into conclusions, even though Mr. Fllaga himself wasn't able to help he said he'd ask some other students."

"How is that going to help us, there aren't any other students who have been involved, they wouldn't know anything about what we have done this far and what we should do next." Yzak commented.

"There's no one but one." Heine contradicted him smiling.

"What do you mean?" Nicol asked.

"I'm talking about Cagalli-cutie of course! She helped us the other day didn't she?"

"Oh, yeah that's right…But wouldn't that make her extremely unwilling to help us any further because now she knows in what situation we're in, normally?" Dearka interjected.

"Maybe so, but Cagalli-cutie isn't normal."

"Eh, that's pretty rude you know."

"I didn't mean it as an insult, I meant it as a compliment. She isn't just an ordinary girl, she's an angel. I know she's going to save us."

"Hai, hai if you say so."

"You two shut up and focus. Didn't I explain clearly enough before that we're in deep trouble? We need to get to work, we can't just sit and wait for help to come, there is no time." Athrun said sternly in a way that made people think of, not Athrun Zala but Patrick Zala, from what they had seen from news broadcasting on TV anyway.

Heine and Dearka exchanged glances and grinned a little but stopped their argument. Athrun was just about to speak again when he was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Yes, come in!" Dearka said.

The door opened slowly and before them stood a somewhat diffidently looking Cagalli.

"So Miss Yula has honoured us with her presence, may one ask why?" Athrun said ironically.

Cagalli looked like she was going to say something but seemed to change her mind.

"Don't mind him, but I'm also curious: Did you want anything?" Dearka tried to smooth over Athrun's quite rude behaviour.

"That yellow-headed gym teacher asked me to help, and he said I should come here and that you'd tell me what to do."

"Cagalli-cutie is going to help us? It's like a dream come true wa." Heine said looking too happy.

"It's not like I want to…" Cagalli said looking very uncomfortable.

"That's ok, no one really wants to not even we, except perhaps for Yzak." Dearka said.

"Why should I be the only one!" Yzak said angrily, he didn't exactly like being there either. But it was a job that had to be done and if they didn't do it who would?

"I'm sure Mr. Zala loves being the president, it suits his delusion of being superior to everybody else perfectly." Cagalli said stiffly not looking in Athrun's direction once.

"Would you please inform Miss Yula even though I love her little quirkiness, I would be much obliged if she would stop making comments on matters she knows nothing of."

"…Am I the only one who thinks it suddenly got very cold in here?" Dearka said uncomfortably, a state in which you rarely saw him in.

"Hmpf, I couldn't care less. So this woman is supposed to help us?" Yzak honestly from the bottom of his heart didn't like Athrun. The first time he met him was in his second year in junior high school. At the time Athrun was a first-year but he had already gotten himself a rumour of being smart close to being a genius with an absolute perfect grade record. When people asked why he didn't skip a year, he'd answer that it was too troublesome and that he had no intention of graduate one day earlier than he had to.

Yzak had recognized Athrun as a rival even though he was a year younger, he respected his obvious intelligence and athletic ability but that came to an abrupt end when he noticed that Athrun wasn't the least bit interested in returning those feelings. The truth was that Athrun wasn't the least interested in competing with Yzak, he wasn't interested to have anything to with him at all. It became clear to Yzak that Athrun not only wasn't interested in getting to know him, he looked down on him and after that it became clear that it wasn't just Yzak, he looked down on everybody. Maybe it was hurt pride, but respect soon turned it to deep resentment and disgust. So of course Yzak honestly didn't care if Athrun didn't get along with this girl, more than anything it made him think higher of the new girl because she wasn't like the other mindless bimbos that were fooled by Athrun's good looks and social status. But he didn't like the atmosphere that was spreading around this Cagalli and Athrun. The attitude she assumed against him didn't suit her at all.

"For your information, my name is Cagalli!" she almost shouted at him.

"Hrmp" Yzak just grunted but he was a little relieved that the atmosphere had become a little less heavy. Yzak knew that people thought that he was thick headed when it came to feelings and that he had no control over his temper at all, but the latter was only concerning Athrun. Not even Heine who was the most irritating person he knew made him lose himself completely (even if it was hard not to sometimes). Heine constantly poked his nose into other people's business but even if it would drive him crazy he knew there was no ill intent. Athrun on the other hand, certainly didn't want to be mixed up in other people's affairs, he seemed genuinely uninterested in other people and their feelings. In fact he didn't hesitate to walk all over people's feelings. Yzak absolutely couldn't stand to loose to someone like that who was looking down on everybody else. That's why his emotions got the best of him. And at the same time he knew he couldn't win against Athrun like that but he didn't possess the means to stop himself as things were now. Actually Yzak somewhere was very sensitive to the changing in people's moods, it was just that he was shy and he didn't have any confidence in matters concerning love. So he hid it, sometimes unconsciously and other times wilfully. The strange result was that his friends thought that he was thick headed and easy to read, and in reality he wasn't thick headed but he was easy to read at one level and he knew about it.

"Anyway I don't think I have to know Mr. Zala well to draw that conclusion. Every time I meet him he does his outmost to show how much he despises everyone else." Cagalli didn't seem to have forgotten Athrun's comment however.

"Whatever, think what you like. It's not like I care anyway." Athrun said uninterestedly, "More importantly, let's get to work. Miss Yula, if you would take a seat…" he continued.

And another long evening in company of Athrun Zala was just beginning…

xXXx

Two weeks passed by and the day for the sports festival finally arrived. During those weeks Cagalli started to worry about something she never thought she would worry about: Something was wrong, something was definitely wrong: Athrun Zala was avoiding her. Shouldn't it be the other way around, what was happening? She sat alone in the in the class room, the sports festival was finally over. It was dark outside, it was the end of October and the days were rapidly becoming shorter and the sun set early. But now it was pretty late anyway since she had stayed behind to help cleaning up after the festivities. She was exhausted but in a good way, it had been a hectic day but in the end it had been fun and to everybody's surprise it had been a success. Even if the mood between Athrun and Cagalli was as frosty as ever she got along excellently with the rest of the boys and her presence seemed to have made them get out of the old routines that had threatened to capsize the whole project.

Being the competitive person she was she had very happy that her class had come in first place. Surprisingly it was much thanks to Kira, he didn't seem like the athletic type but she guessed he had to be one of those people who were naturally gifted.

The only cloud on her horizon was that annoying blue haired stuck up jerk that was ignoring her. Not that she wanted his attention, she really didn't. He had only been teasing her, she would be a fool to expect anything from him.

She wasn't stupid, of course she had understood that Zala was popular among girls, with those looks how could he not be? But she hadn't grasped the full extent of his popularity. She did see him in the corridors, often, but he didn't see her or pretended not to see her or didn't want so see her. She didn't know. But he would stand in the hallway talking to some girl. He would wrap his arm around the girl and she would giggle happily nervously.

Sometimes she would feel disgusted, who wanted anything to do with that cold-hearted playboy anyway? Sometimes, well almost always she would feel an ugly hatred directed at the girl in his arms. And when he would bend down to kiss the girl, it almost felt like it was exactly the moment she looked at his direction. She knew that she was being paranoid because there was no way it could be so, because she knew she was little different from that girl, those girls. Yes to Zala she was nothing more than those girls, and it made her angry. When did she become like this? She didn't like it. She had started to realise that she probably had feelings for him. Was it because that she couldn't have him because he had grown tired of her and thrown her away? Before anything really had started, just a kiss. She laughed ironically, the lowest, she was the lowest and she felt like maybe she would puke from disgust with herself.

She absentmindedly looked out the window even if it was hard to see anything outside now. She sighed, maybe it was time to go home now but somehow she didn't want return to that lonely apartment just yet …though instead she was sitting alone in this class room thinking about the person she least of all wanted to think about. No, it was time to go home. She turned her head towards the door, "Eh?" suddenly she was looking at the person that had kidnapped her mind and taken all her reason and dignity as hostage, none other than Athrun Zala.

"Oh, it's you." he said with an uninterested voice. She felt a sting in her chest, he had the same attitude that had become the usual attitude since two weeks before, that she was the one who hade started it had been conveniently forgotten by this point. But she couldn't get used to it. She found herself staring at him while he was doing what ever business he was there to do, and reluctantly turned her eyes away again and forced herself to look out the window anew.

Suddenly she felt light breathing against her neck, she froze, he was close now and she could feel his scent. The light touch on her neck from his hair was tickling her and at that moment she could only feel confusion.

"Why do you look so disappointed?" He whispered in her ear. She could feel him smiling.

"What are you talking about?" She feigned ignorance.

"Why do you look like you're expecting something from me? You didn't like to be treated indifferently?"

"I really don't know what you're talking about." She swallowed hard, she didn't dare to move a muscle. What was he doing?

"Oh, I think you do." He said and placed a kiss on her neck that made her shiver. Apparently he noticed because he chuckled.

"But I'll say it in your place…" he kissed her again and she could feel his lips and even his teeth lightly press against her neck.

* * *

What will happen next and what will Athrun say? You'll see next chapter. Review please… 

Please look forward to the next chapter: **I'm Only into This to Enjoy**


	6. I'm Only into This to Enjoy a

Thank you all reviewers!

This time is a little bit special, originally this was supposed to be one chapter but it became way too long so I split it into two parts this being part a. There are also two versions of this part, this one which is shorter and another longer version which contain a lemon that I put on my newly made homepage (well I made it specifically for this). If you want to read the lemon-version there is a link on my profile page.

This time I'm going to be a little selfish, as you may have understood the second part is already finished so I can upload it whenever I want. When that will be will depend on you my dear readers, in other words, if you want to read the next part, review. I honestly put some effort into this and I feel like I don't want to continue if I don't get any response. Of course this might be so bad that nobody wants to read the next part but that is a different story, in that case I won't update anymore on this story of course.

Enough, let the story begin:

* * *

**I'm Only into This to Enjoy**

"_Why do you look so disappointed?" He whispered in her ear. She could feel him smiling._

"_What are you talking about?" She feigned ignorance._

"_Why do you look like you're expecting something from me? You didn't like to be treated indifferently?"_

"_I really don't know what you're talking about." She swallowed hard, she didn't dare to move a muscle. What was he doing?_

"_Oh, I think you do." He said and placed a kiss on her neck that made her shiver. Apparently he noticed because he chuckled._

"_But I'll say it in your place…" he kissed her again and she could feel his lips and even his teeth lightly press against her neck._

"You want me…"

"Wh-…" She was going to protest but he hindered that by a kiss. She didn't even have time to be shocked and as if it was the most natural thing in the world she opened her mouth and their tongues met. She remembered this from dreams she had, but reality was something completely different. But still there was a feeling of unreality, unwanted fantasies had become true. But he was right, she wanted to kiss him. There was no use of denying it. Inescapably her breathing gradually became heavier.

"You were saying?" He said smirking.

"Oh, shut up!"

"Hmm, maybe I misjudged the situation, if you don't want to I won't force you?"

"…" Cagalli mumbled and tried to hide her embarrassment by avoiding his eyes and staring at the floor.

"Huh? I can't hear you."

"I didn't say that!" She looked up and spoke too loud. Noticing her mistake she immediately turned down her eyes again.

Seeing her behaviour Athrun satisfactorily chuckled and continued, "So you want to kiss?"

"…"

"Again I can't hear you."

"Yes…"

"In that case why don't you kiss me? If you want it you should come and get it yourself."

"Eh?"

"If you won't do anything I won't either."

So he was testing her, she thought a little bitterly. But sadly she felt he had a point, maybe it was a good thing too: he cared about what she wanted.

She bit her lip and fiddled with her fingers, not knowing what to do with her hands. Then she hesitantly put her arms around his shoulders. She was surprised how broad they felt, he definitely was pretty but his body was without question that of man. That slender figure but still surprisingly muscular, this was the difference between a woman and a man? A little irritating but she could sense that he was much stronger than her, she had faith in her fighting skills but she probably wouldn't stand much chance against him if he got serious.

She looked up at him and slowly moved her face toward his, he was taller than her so she had to tiptoe the last bit because he wasn't helping her at all. She closed her eyes and softly placed her lips on his, trying how it felt. She felt her cheeks get warm, she moved away a bit and opened her eyes again and looked him in the eyes. She couldn't read his countenance, but since he didn't say anything she decided to try again. She closed her eyes again and kissed him again. This time she dared to do a little more tightening the grip around his shoulders pressing her lips against his. She felt his arms folding around her waist. She opened her mouth and let the tip of her tongue slip into his. She stopped again, waiting for some kind of sign perhaps. She felt his hands move up her back, she kissed him again. Their tongues met, they stopped. She could hear him draw a heavy breath, it trembled a little. This seemed to be the limit, he drew her closer. The next kiss was almost violent, their teeth hit against each other but neither of them seemed to care. She pressed herself against him and his hands moved along her body.

He placed a hand on her breast feeling the outline of it through the shirt. Unconsciously she moaned a little, he smiled amusedly. She suddenly felt awkward and hesitated but he wouldn't let her get away. He kissed her again his hand never leaving its spot. He moved his lips to her neck. He moved his hands up her skirt grabbing her bum with a firm grip and lifted her up on the bench. Then moving them inside her underwear, she froze again and lightly pushed a hand at his chest. At first he chose to ignore her but when she pushed harder he stopped, "What?" He said irritated.

"Not here." She said weakly. He stopped and looked at her a little then smiled a wicked smile, "Well somewhere else then?"

"…"

"If you don't want to do it here, come over to my house tonight and we'll continue…"

She answered with a simple nod looking down at the floor. Zala kissed her on the cheek and whisper in her ear, "7 o' clock tonight, my place. I'm looking forward to it." And with that he left.

"W- wait…" She called out but it was too late, he was already gone. "Jerk, I don't even know where you live." She mumbled to herself but something caught her eye, her notebook laid open on the desk. She looked closer and she something written in it and not in her handwriting. It was Zala's address along with a note saying "Here is my address, just don't go tell anyone, ne." That hentai, when did he had time to do this? And by the way, fat chance she would tell anyone, don't write unnecessary things. She sighed and stuffed the notebook in her bag.

When she got home she took off her shoes and immediately walked to the wardrobe. There they were, her bags from that shopping day with Fllay and Miriallia still untouched. She had honestly thought that she would never wear those clothes, but now the day seemed to have come. She smiled a little sadly, they would probably be very surprised if they learned for whose sake she would be wearing them. Truthfully she wouldn't have believed it herself but there was no helping it, maybe it was against reason but she wanted to go to Zala's place tonight and she wanted him to think she was pretty. It was painful to admit but she cared what he thought about her, she wanted him to notice her. It had somehow felt so lonely when he had treated her like a stranger, when he treated her like he treated everyone else: with indifference bordering to open contempt. She wanted to be special to him but at the same time she knew she might just be one in the long line of girls that she had seen him with, and that only during two weeks time! And it made her feel insecure but in the end she knew she had to follow her instinct, perhaps it would lead her the wrong way but she had no choice. She sensed that he was interested in her, and anyway why would he have gone through all that trouble the last weeks if he truly wasn't interested in her. Another source of insecurity was that she had no experience of dating before and she was hopeless with all that cute girly stuff that all girls seem to know from birth almost. Up till now hadn't had any interest in it for that matter, so she was a little at loss. Though she thanked Fllay and Miriallia in the back of her mind, with their help she could at least do something.

She took a shower, put on the skirt and a sleeveless tight shirt. With some effort she put on mascara for the second time in her life and she tried to fix her hair. She looked in the mirror not fully convinced, again she thought such a cute outfit didn't fit her because she wasn't a cute girl like Fllay or Miriallia.

Was she only kidding herself to think she could pull this off? But it was too late to back out now, he might laugh at her but it felt like it was out of her hands now, she was moving as of some other will than her own.

She decided to take a taxi because she didn't trust herself with finding the way, she arrived 15 minutes too early. And in the end she waited with a tightening chest for 30 minutes, both because it would look as she was too eager if she came early and because she was afraid of what was coming. Eventually she felt she couldn't put it off any longer so she pressed the button on the entryphone and after a little while she heard a cool voice, "Yes, this is Zala, who… Oh it's you, you're 15 minutes late. Get in." he said and she heard the lock to the gate open. Hesitantly she opened it and walked into the world behind the walls surrounding the Zala property.

Athrun looked down at the creature that had appeared outside his front door and he felt a little superiority complex. She had obviously tried her best to look nice for this, even though it was a little clumsy done he had to admit it was cute, just as you would expect from Yula. Her simple innocence was one of the things that attracted him, for one thing it made her different from him. But it also provoked him and somewhere he felt like he wanted to destroy that innocence.

Yula looked nervous on the verge of being afraid. "Don't look so scared, it's not like I'm going to eat you… Ops, on second thought I might just do that." he grinned.

"D- Don't be stupid why would I be scared of you!" she screamed angrily.

"Hai, hai, if you say so. By the way, why don't you come in or are you planning on standing there all night?"

"No, if you just move your ass out of the way I might come in." She continued her aggressive attitude. Athrun just chuckled, this Yula was so much more fun than the badly acted cold and reserved Yula he had had to deal with for the last weeks. He felt in a really good mood, tonight he would make her scream but for a totally different reason.

"Certainly, please do come in." he said and made room for her.

She seemed to hesitate a little when Athrun helped her to remove her jacket, but apparently changed her mind and quietly let him take it.

"So do you want anything to drink? I've got beer."

"Beer, alcohol?" She looked surprised.

"Of course it's alcohol, don't tell me you've never drunk before?" He raised an eyebrow.

"O- Of course I have, beer is fine, I'll have beer."

She was obviously lying, this should be interesting Athrun thought. He guided Yula to the kitchen where he handed her a bottle and took one for himself. She took one sip and grimaced, his guess had probably been right, she didn't look like she was used to the taste. She took another sip and asked, "This place is really huge. Do you live here with your parents?" she had wondered where his parents were since it seemed like it was just the two of them who was there right now.

"I live here with my father but he is seldom home, my mother is dead." He said in a rather unconcerned way.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know."

"It's not particularly something you need to apologise about, like you said you didn't know. And besides it was a long time ago so I'm pretty much over it." He answered while he looked intently at the label on the beer bottle he was holding.

"Pretty much over it? How can you say that? She was your mother for God's sake!"

"That is none of your business." He looked up and said in an icy voice. He wished that she would stop talk about this, she wasn't here to be his psychologist, she was here to get him laid.

"So you practically live in this huge place by yourself, don't you get lonely?"

"No, not really. I'm used to it." He answered shortly. She seemed to notice his irritation and didn't ask anymore and began drinking the beer with amazing speed instead.

They became silent for a while but soon Athrun decided to break it, "Never mind that let's go to my room." he decided not to give her any more beer, it wouldn't be fun if she passed out or if she threw up in his bed.

"…un." She nodded nervously.

When they walked up the stairs she stumbled but seemed to manage to keep her balance.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"I'm fine… just a little dizzy."

He chuckled a little at her behaviour but he guessed it was to be expected if she never had drunk alcohol before.

"Here we are," Athrun said while opening the door with one arm and lightly pushed Yula into his room with the other. He quietly closed the door and turned to her, "Now where were we, Cagalli…" he said and placed a lonely kiss on her neck. One kiss but it made her tremble, she felt oddly relaxed, was it the alcohol? He had called her Cagalli and somehow it was incredibly sexy. She was weak against his voice she knew that from before but now it hit her with renewed force.

Well he if he called her by name she didn't want to be worse, "Athrun…" She said and placed kiss on his lips and started unbutton his shirt. He looked a little surprised at first but soon smiled as usual again. She couldn't claim she did it perfectly but one by one the buttons got free. She didn't know were she got the courage from, shouldn't she be scared to death right now? But somehow her feelings were imbedded in thick fog, in the back of her mind she thought it was strange but it wasn't only the alcohol she could sense that. Because she had experience this feeling before, the feeling of wanting to touch him and wanting to be touched by him.

She looked so cute and clumsy while she was trying to open his shirt, drunk perhaps but innocent. He could feel waves of desire coming leaving him almost without composure. He was surprised much her saying his name excited him, how much she excited him. Earlier in the classroom today he would have screwed her right there and then if she hadn't stopped him. But it was better this way, now they could take their time and keep going all night long… In reality he just wanted to fuck her immediately but that was being too hasty. Oh no not yet, not yet, he wanted her to beg for it, he wanted her to scream, he wanted to humiliate her, he wanted to control her.

Carefully Cagalli started to move her little hands over his chest and he was a little surprised of how forward she was. He smiled and grabbed her wrists and pushed her down on the bed straddling her, pressing down her wrist over her head. "So what to do now, maybe help you remove this…"

x

(This is where it happens…)

x

"Wait here and I'll go and get bath towel for you." Athrun said and sat on the bedside fumbling trying to take off the condom discreetly, he searched the floor looking for his boxers, found them put on them before he got up and went to the bathroom.

Cagalli just lay dead still, waiting for Athrun trying not to think too much about the dull pain she felt in her stomach area. He came back with the towel and she thankfully wrapped it around her. There was blood on the sheets and as she got up from the bed a thin trickle of blood ran down her leg. It didn't escape Athrun's eyes but he didn't say anything.


	7. I'm Only into This to Enjoy b

Sorry about last time, but I was depressed. I usually always get depressed (actually I'm feeling a little depressed right now) when I'm finished with a chapter and finally upload it but the last time it was worse than usual. Maybe a sign that I put too many hours into writing it and I'm wasting my life away when I should be studying. So I honestly thought I would end it with this chapter, well actually I planned to end it as things were but I got some very encouraging words that lifted my spirit from my reviewers so I decided to keep going. Thank you very much, this is dedicated to you.

I think I make a stupid mistake when I linked to my homepage, making it hard to find. But now I've fixed a new link that I think will be easier to find. If you couldn't find it before and still want to check out the other version of part a. go to my profile-page and I think you will find the link without problem this time.

As you may or may not have understood this is a continuation of the last chapter, but at here you can't split a chapter in two so it will be called chapter 7 anyway. Not that it matters that much.

* * *

**I'm Only into This to Enjoy b.**

When she stood in the shower Athrun came in to the bathroom, "I'll leave your clothes here." He said and left again. When she was finished she saw that, just as he had said, her clothes were placed at the bench outside the shower. On top of the little pile were underwear she didn't recognize, where her own was she had no idea but she didn't want to go out there without clothes so she sighed and put them on.

"Hey where are my underwear?" she said as she came out of the bathroom.

"They're in the laundry, I figured you didn't want to put on old ones after you'd showered."

"Well, thank you but how come you have girls' underwear at home?"

"Wouldn't you want to know?" He said with a suspicious-looking smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You can interpret it in any way you like. Anyway I'm just going to take a quick shower then I'll cook something. You're hungry right?"

"I'm not particularly hungry…" she said but an unmistakable sound from her stomach told otherwise.

"Hehehe, I'll take that as a yes." Athrun chuckled, how typical of Cagalli, but that was a side of her that was cute he thought.

"What's so funny? Maybe I had forgotten that I was hungry. I can't help it can I?"

"Nothing, just wait here, I won't take long." He said still chuckling as he turned his back to her and went into the bathroom.

There was no sign left of what they had just had been doing. The sheets were changed and the bed was tidily made, the clothes that had been scattered on the floor weren't there any more. But in Cagalli's mind it was still there and she blushed when she thought of how she had been acting, it was if she wasn't control of her own body. It was obvious that Athrun had controlled everything but that wasn't so strange because he must have been with loads of girls and for her this was her first time. The thought of him being with another clouded her mind, she didn't want to think about it but the thought stuck and even if she tried to brush it off it was there in the background gnawing. But she hadn't thought she would be so passive, that wasn't like her at all. In the beginning she had tried but soon Athrun had dominated her completely and that was a little irritating. But the fault wasn't entirely his either, she had chickened out. Naturally she had placed her arms around his back but from there they didn't go anywhere. She was afraid to touch, somehow it was even more difficult that being touched. So she had just held on to him for all she was worth. But now she wasn't a virgin anymore, next time she would definitely show him!

"Cagalli?" Athrun's voice woke her up from her brooding.

"Eh?" she looked up at Athrun who stood right in front of her wearing jeans and t-shirt. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen him in any other clothes than the school uniform so it felt a little unfamiliar. But he looked good in it of course, a little more relaxed.

"Are you coming?"

"Eh?"

"You're hungry, right? Let's go to the kitchen."

"Mm, yeah." She said and followed him without saying anymore.

In the kitchen Athrun started to pick out groceries from the refrigerator. Cagalli watched in amazement, he was actually going to cook! She could hardly believe it.

"I had no idea you could cook. I would have thought you'd have someone employed to do that."

"Normally, that would be the case I guess but cooking is a little hobby of mine so I usually do it myself. And besides, I'm rather picky, and if I make it myself I know it will be the way I like it. We have people who take care of the cleaning and laundry a few times a week but because it's basically just me who lives here it's doesn't take much."

"That's pretty impressive, I can't cook at all. I haven't cooked anything more advanced than ramen." She said as she interestedly watched what he was doing.

"Your mom does everything does she?" he said while he started to skilfully cut vegetables into small pieces.

"No, we had cook."

"You _had_ a cook?"

"At home we have a cook but I live in my own flat right now."

"Hmm, that will save us some trouble…"

"What do you mean?"

"I was just wondering how we were going to convince your parents to stay over night." Athrun turned and smiled at her with that irritating teasing smile.

"Wha-! Who says I'm going to stay over?" Cagalli looked horrified.

"You don't seriously expect me to let you go home by yourself this late?"

"Why not? It's not that late, and besides I can take a taxi."

"Cagalli…I don't mean to be sexist or anything, but you should be more aware that you are a girl." He put the vegetables in a frying pan and it started to sizzle. He stirred by holding the pan and tossing it.

"I know I'm a girl (it's just everybody else who mistake me for a boy.)"

"Do you really? And in those clothes, I don't think there is anybody on this planet who'll mistake you for a guy. It's Friday night, there are loads of people out and not everyone is nice you know. And as a girl you especially shouldn't go home alone." He put pasta into the boiling water.

"I said I'll take a taxi."

"What makes you think you can trust the taxi-driver?

"Why trust anyone at all? If you think like that?"

"I don't."

"Sigh, if you're so worried why don't you escort me home then?"

"I can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to stay here."

"!" that really sounded suspicious to Cagalli but she couldn't find the words.

"Don't worry I won't do anything. And besides it doesn't matter where you sleep, it's not like someone's waiting for you at home." He continued to try to convince her.

"…Ok, I'll stay." Cagalli resigned.

"Great." He grinned.

"But you got to promise not to do anything."

"I won't, at least not today."

"That doesn't exactly convince me." She looked at him incredulously.

"What? I'm hurt, it sounds like you don't want me." He faked a hurt look

"…it not like that. I don't think I'm ready to do it again yet, I mean physically." She flushed violently.

"That's why I said I won't do anything. You don't have a very high opinion of me do you?"

Cagalli realised something, she was always badmouthing him but she didn't mean anything by it, it was just how she was. Well from the beginning she did mean it but that felt like a long time ago now. Maybe he was joking but what if she really hurt him? What if she said too much? Would he hate her? "…I'm sorry I doubted you." Cagalli said looking a little ashamed.

Athrun was surprised, it wasn't the reaction he had expected at all. He had just been joking with her like he always did and she was supposed to say something in the same line. But now she said something that sounded like she was honestly sorry and it made him feel uncomfortable. Maybe it reminded him that he wasn't exactly honest with his intentions, not that he had promised her anything but he hadn't played with open cards either.

He decided to joke it away, "Hehehe, who said you should trust me?" he put knifes and forks on the table.

"Now you're making fun of me."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Cut it out will you, I'm trying to be serious here!"

Hai, hai, here you go." He said and put a plate before here.

"Wow, you made this? It smells great." Cagalli forgot their argument when she looked at the plate in front of her, it really looked impressive.

"You haven't tasted it yet. Here, have some salad." He handed her a bowl with salad as he sat down in front of her.

"Salad?" Cagalli said with a terrified look on her face.

"Yeah, haven't mother told you to eat your salad?"

"No, but Myrna kept nagging on me about it all the time."

"Well she's right."

"Sometimes you're strangely grown up."

"I've always liked salad."

"Really, I've always did everything I could to avoid it."

"Did it work?" he asked.

"Unfortunately no, she always threatened that I wouldn't get any desert if I didn't eat it."

"Hehehe, maybe I should do the same."

"You won't have to, I'll taste some now that you've taken the trouble to fix me all this."

"You should, maybe it tastes better than you think. Oh yeah, what do you want to drink? I have juice, soda, wine…beer…"

"Eh, water is fine." Cagalli's face froze a little when she heard "beer".

"I prefer water too." He got up and fetched a water bottle from the fridge and two glasses.

"You better eat before it gets cold."

Cagalli tasted it, "It's really good!"

"I'm glad you liked it, actually there's no meat in it, only vegetables."

"That makes it even more impressive. Really is there anything you can't do?"

"Hmm, not that I can think of." He said jokingly.

"I bet there isn't." Cagalli said half seriously half jokingly.

They sat and ate and talked for a while, and they mood between them was strangely relaxed. Considering they were two people who just had sex and really didn't know that much about each other.

"So Athrun, what is your favourite food?"

"That's easily Kira's mom's rolled cabbage."

"Ewww." Cagalli made an ugly face.

"You don't like rolled cabbage?"

"I absolutely hate it, cooked cabbage doesn't really do it for me."

"So, what's your favourite food then?"

"Kebab!"

"…That's so disgusting." Athrun said with a frown on his face before he took a sip of water.

"You don't like kebab, I can't believe you! It's so good with chilli sauce."

"I can't think of any food that is more unhygienic, really gross."

"So we both hate each other's favourite food."

"Seems like it." Athrun said and they looked at each other. The mouth on both of them started twitching and they burst out laughing.

"Hahahahehe, that's pretty funny."

"Hahaha, yeah it is."

"Hehehe, by the way, you've eaten your salad so I guess I have to reward you. I think I have some ice cream somewhere..."

"I'd love to have some!" Cagalli said looking almost like an excited puppy, if she had a tail it would surely wag right now Athrun thought amused.

"Ice cream it is." Athrun cleared the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher. The dished from the cooking was already magically gone and the worktop and sink was perfectly cleaned.

"I feel like I should help with something, I'm just sitting here on my butt doing nothing."

"Don't worry about it, it's nothing I can't handle myself. It's the least I can do."

"If you put it that way…"

"Do you want coffee or tea or something?"

"Eh, isn't a bit late for that?" Cagalli asked while she wondered how much the clock really was.

"I'm having some anyway."

"In that case, I'll have whatever you're having."

"Coffee it is then."

Athrun fixed them coffee and ice cream for Cagalli.

"Aren't you having any ice cream?" Cagalli asked surprised.

"No, I'm not particularly fond sugary things."

"I didn't know such people existed." Cagalli said amazed.

"Why is that?"

"Well you know, aren't we genetically predisposed to like sugar because it contains so much energy?"

"I don't know, I won't say I hate it. I'm just not fond of it that's all."

"So there aren't any sweets you like?"

"Maybe dark chocolate, but even that isn't a favourite."

"You're strange."

"You too."

They laughed again and Athrun drank his black coffee while Cagalli enjoyed her ice cream. After when Athrun cleared the dishes Cagalli suddenly started to feel the effect of an overwhelming day and she found it hard to keep her eyes open.

"You look tired." Athrun observed.

"Mm, yeah…" she said while she dropped off just to wake up again and shake her head to keep awake.

"Come on let's get you to bed."

"…un."

After they had brushed their teeth, they both lay in Athrun's bed again, she wore a borrowed t-shirt. It felt strange. Like they were a couple. But the truth was they weren't. Even though she was this tired she couldn't sleep in this unfamiliar room, in this bed, beside boy she was in love with even if it was unrequited feelings.

Suddenly she felt enormously sad, her eyes burned of hold backed tears. She turned her back to him and buried her face in the pillow so he wouldn't notice. She silently wept while she was thinking about what she was doing here. It still hurt, she hadn't imagined that it would hurt so much. As if it was a sign that she had made a mistake, it was the price to pay for the sin she just committed. But at the same time she couldn't imagine have done anything differently, she had followed her emotions and they had led her here. And she thought she was prepared to face the consequences. She could hear Athrun's breathing had become heavy, he was sleeping. She could relax a little and after a while she too fell into sleep.

I

I

A warm smile. And a sad nostalgic feeling overwhelmed him, he knew what it was, it was his mother. He slowly had begun to forget how she looked but now the image was clear. She looked like she always did, she looked a lot like him, the same hair colour and the same eye colour. It was strange that he could see her so distinctly because this had to be a dream because mother was…

If his mother was the same he was different, he was small enough to sit in her lap. He noticed his cheeks where wet and his vision was blurred, what was it? He wiped his eyes with his little hands, tears. How long was it since he cried?

Even from the beginning he wasn't a child who wept much on the contrary he was often called expressionless and inhibited when in reality he was just very shy. He didn't know any other kids and he had learnt early not to be in his parents' way, because he didn't want to be a burden them with his problems when they came home tired from work. Both his mother and father worked very hard, he with the company and she with her research. And often he had already been put to bed by the nanny before they came home. But he would be awake and listen for sounds of them coming home, and when he heard footsteps in the corridor outside his room he would pretend to be asleep so that his mother wouldn't worry when she opened the door to his room to check up on him.

At school, from the beginning the boys had been provoked by his expressionless face taking it for arrogance and tried to bully him. But Athrun being who he was, not only intelligent but also athletic beat up every one who tried to bully him which landed him in a lot of trouble and countless slaps in the face by his father. But after a while things settled down and they started to avoid him instead. In the first whole year he barely spoke a word unless spoken to by the teacher. And soon the teacher, he didn't know if it was out of insecurity because she didn't know how to deal with him, stopped asking him questions. And he was thankful for it, he told himself that he just wanted to be left alone, it was much easier that way. He couldn't handle girls they giggled every time he happened to look at them so he stopped looking at them. Still he could feel their eyes and hear their whispers but none of them dared to actually speak to him luckily.

But all that changed in the second year, when a new boy came to their class. He was seated at the empty bench in the back of the classroom beside Athrun.

"Hi I'm Kira, what's your name?" The boy turned to him and said and smiled a gentle smile.

"…" Athrun looked at Kira but then looked away without answering. Honestly he wanted to answer but he couldn't bring himself to do it he was too used to not talking at school, it was as if he had forgotten how to speak. He couldn't bring himself to break out of the role he was stuck in.

"Eh?" Kira made surprised sound.

Another boy turned to Kira, "It's Kira right? Don't mind him he doesn't talk to anyone, just leave him to himself. I'm Sai by the way."

"Why doesn't he talk to anyone?" Kira looked at Athrun interestedly.

"No one knows really. He used to fight a lot before but now he avoids everyone."

"Hmm…" Kira said thoughtfully.

Athrun got a little irritated, they were talking about him and he was sitting right there for God's sake. Even if he didn't talk he wasn't retarded. And anyway wasn't it the other way around? Wasn't it the other kids who started to avoid him, they hadn't given him a chance from the beginning. Maybe Sai hadn't bullied him but he hadn't tried to be his friend either, he had no right talk about him like that, but Sai was right about one thing: He didn't know anything, nobody knew anything about him. But even if he got angry Athrun didn't say anything, he just pretended that he didn't hear and continued to look out the window.

The scene changed. He was alone. He suddenly became extremely anxious: where had mother gone? He had bad premonition, he knew that he had to find mother and warn her or else something terrible would happen. He ran from room to room in their too big house, but she was nowhere to be found. He even looked in closets and under beds but she wasn't there. The corridor he ran through seemed to become longer and longer when he tried to reach the last room, the door stood ajar and light was leaking into the dark corridor, she had to be there. But no matter how much he tried he never reached it, instead he found himself facing his father who had just come in from the outside and stood by the front door with his outdoor clothes still on. Athrun looked confusedly at his father, why was he home so early? His father looked even more stern than usual and Athrun began to worry if he had done something wrong that he didn't know about. When he learned the truth he would have done anything to make it so. His father gave him a cold look and then immediately turned away his eyes as if he was disgusted.

But nothing could have prepared Athrun for what his father said next, that was the moment when his world fell apart.

"Athrun, your mother's dead."

"…" time stopped. He couldn't think, he couldn't speak, he couldn't grasp the meaning of that simple but cruel sentence.

His father turned his back to him and started to take of his shoes and coat when opened his mouth again, "Needless to say, this is not an excuse for you to neglect school, I won't except anything but the best." Without giving him a second look his father passed him and shut himself inside his study.

Left in the hall, was Athrun alone.

I

I

I

I

"Haa…haa…haa…haa." Athrun woke up suddenly violently. He was gasping for breath like he had been running full speed and he felt a dull pain in his chest. What a dream. It had had been years since he dreamt about his mother, before he had had nightmares about it every night but nowadays he hardly dreamed anything. Cold sweat on his forehead, it felt unpleasant. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. He took a few deep breaths to calm down. Moonlight was shining in through the window, lighting the room in a weak dreary colour.

"nng…" he heard someone grunt, and he looked down and he saw Cagalli wipe the sleep out of her eyes.

"Athrun? What's wrong?" She said in a gentle voice he never had heard before, well mostly she was screaming at him. She almost looked worried and for a second he was nearly tempted to tell her but immediately thought better of it.

She sat up and reached her hand to his cheek but he brushed it away. To conceal his confusion he spoke, "Nothing. I'm going to get some water, do you want any?" as he got out of bed.

"Eh? Mm." she said a little surprised.

"I'll be right back." He said and hurried out. He's feelings were rather complicated at the moment, he felt strangely relaxed with Cagalli but at the same time he had wanted to get away from those big amber eyes that was looking straight at him, it almost felt like they were piercing right through him. He didn't want her to come too close.

Wearing only boxers he reached the kitchen, opened the fridge took out a bottle of water poured up two glasses. It was a little cold, and his bare skin was covered with goose bumps, maybe he should have worn a t-shirt? He hesitated a moment while he stood in front of the open refrigerator door, he felt a little tense about returning to his room with Cagalli inside it, in the same bed. But then shook his head, since when did he get intimidated by a little girl? It wouldn't happen. He closed the door, took the glasses with him up to his room.

Cagalli laid on her back staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. She couldn't get Athrun's expression out of her head. She raised her head and looked around the room, it felt more like a hotel room than somebody's home. It was bare, almost devoid of personal things. Everything looked like it was on exactly the place it supposed to be, except her clothes but they were neatly folded on a chair. They didn't belong to the order here, like she perhaps. She thought about what he had said earlier, about his father, about his mother. But Cagalli understood how it felt, she understood so much that it hurt.

She had cursed many times of being born a girl, still if you looked at it objectively there were many disadvantages with being a girl. It wasn't just the difference in physical strength, although annoying she had come to accept nothing could be done about that (almost). But Cagalli had a hard time accepting that the role that she as a girl was expected to fill, not to think about herself, be cute and sweet and please everyone. And eventually get married and live to support some man and bear children. She had wanted to be valued for being the person she was without having to constantly sacrifice her own dreams in order to fulfil someone else's. But somehow she felt thankful anyway now, maybe it was love that made her change her mind. Maybe love had made her weaker, but she felt she wanted to help him. Athrun was a lonely person and maybe that was the part of the reason she was subconsciously drawn to him, the person shared the same emptiness as herself.

"Here." A familiar voice said. She wondered how she could have thought that voice was disagreeable now when it sounded so pleasant. She looked up at the owner, he was holding a glass of water in front of her. She accepted it, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He simply said then the both of them fell into silence, they just drank their water. She didn't have the guts to look at him directly, she still wasn't used to see a man without clothes. And she had noticed that if she looked she had a tendency to stare. Because he looked so perfect she couldn't help to admire him. It was not that he had particularly big muscles, it was the total lack of superfluous fat that made the muscles clearly visible. She sighed inwards physically he really was too perfect, she with renewed force she could understand why he was so popular among girls.

How can you explain it, the feeling when he lay down under the quilt? When it was chilly a second ago, the warmth of another person, how could it be so soothing? How could it give such peace of mind? She didn't even say anything, she was just there with her body heat. This time she didn't turn her back at him, she nestled against him and unconsciously he was happy about it. That she didn't reject him, when she had every reason for it. He put his arms around her, he couldn't help it, because this was the greatest sensation. And maybe it turned him on a little but he held it in, there was no need to rush. He was going to enjoy this fully in due time.

When he lay down in the bed again she reached for him, she snuggled up against him. His skin was pleasantly cool, it felt unbelievably good. And he didn't push her away, he hugged her. Coolness and warmth mixed for a while but soon the coolness gave away leaving the two of them totally warm. And they stayed that way until the morning. Something new was beginning, something neither of them had expected.

* * *

I hate both kebab and rolled cabbage which means I hate both Cagalli's and Athrun's favourite food! The rolled cabbage is of course taken from the CD-drama, well that's perhaps common knowledge though. (I say favourite but there is really nothing saying that it is their favourite food just that they like it very much.)  



	8. Where Do We Go from Here

Thank you, everyone who has liked the story this far. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I love you!

I usually reply reviews I get but unfortunately not anonymous reviews. If you want me to reply please log in when you review.

Just be warned that this contains scenes that might not be appropriate if you're sensitive or very young. I thought a lot about whether I should post a different, censored version here but I decided to post the original anyway. If you think it's too graphic for this site please tell me so and I will revise it. But don't expect any lemons, I wouldn't call it a lemon.

* * *

**Where Do We Go from Here**

At elementary school they weren't allowed to stay in the class room during the breaks. They were supposed to be out and playing, but Athrun didn't play with the other kids. He used to take walks around the school yard or sit and play by himself in a corner pretending that he really didn't want to play soccer with the others. Sometimes steal a glance perhaps but in a way that nobody noticed it, not that anybody cared anyway. A week had passed since Kira had come to the class and he blended in perfectly, he even was the centre of everyone's attention. Even if he didn't want to admit it Athrun was a little envious of Kira, he was new in the class but still he had become friends with everybody immediately. He found himself following Kira with his gaze and suddenly their eyes met and they looked at each other for a brief moment before Athrun turned his eyes away and started walking to the other direction. Somewhere in the background he heard shouts,

"Kira, where you going!" and then he heard light fast steps on the asphalt closing in on him. And before he knew it an energetic-looking Kira walked beside him smiling.

"…" Athrun looked at him with a blank face for a second before he turned his gaze forward without saying a word. But inside his head questions started to form. What was Kira doing? Why didn't he stay and play soccer? Why did he bother him like this? It would be better if Kira would just let him be. The other kids would stop liking Kira if he tried to be with Athrun. Didn't he know that?

"Hey Athrun, What are you doing?" Kira asked as if it was only natural and it felt strange to be addressed like that, because it was so long ago.

"…" Athrun didn't answer he just walked like he always did without say anything.

That didn't seem to bother Kira though he just continued talking while he followed Athrun around.

I

"Kira where are you going? Don't tell me you're going to follow that loser around again?"

"Sorry." Kira said smiling apologetically.

"Come on, play soccer with us instead."

"Sorry." Kira said again and hurried after Athrun.

"Did you know what my mom did yesterday? She's so mean. She threatened to throw away all my video-games if I didn't do my homework? Can you believe that?" Kira started talking and complaining about his mom as usual. Athrun who had been forced to listen to a lot of Kira's complaints and conversation actually knew quite a bit about Kira's family and Kira's hobbies by now. And he couldn't help but think that Kira was a little spoiled. And to talk about his mother that way, Athrun couldn't even imagine himself talk about his own mother in such a way.

"What about your mom Athrun? Does she also do annoying things?" Kira suddenly asked him.

"…y"

"Eh?" Kira exclaimed surprised.

"Why?" Athrun said so quietly it was hard for Kira to hear it.

"What do you mean?" Kira didn't understand what he meant but he was excited that Athrun had finally said something.

"Why do you keep bothering me?" Athrun stopped and turned to Kira and looked at him sharply.

"Why? That's obvious isn't it?"

"Not to me it isn't."

"We're friends."

"Wha- who said we're friends?"

"I did just now."

"You can't just decide that on your own. To me we're not friends, it's only you who have one-sidedly followed me around and talked to me without ever caring what I thought about it. Frankly it's a bother. Leave me alone and go play with the others, at least they want to play with you." Athrun said coolly, but in reality he wasn't exactly honest. He actually enjoyed listening to Kira but at the same time he was annoyed at him and doubted his real intentions. What had Kira to gain by becoming friends with him? He couldn't understand it and therefore he assumed that he was only trying to trick him. He turned away from Kira again and was about to walk away again when he heard a sniffle. He turned once more and there was Kira crying covering his eyes with his hands. Why was he crying? Was it his fault? He hadn't wanted to make him cry. Did this mean that Kira was serious, that he thought that they were friends?

Anyway he had to say something, apologise, "K- Kira…" saying his name felt strange in his mouth, it was the first time. And looking at it now it was strange, Kira had tried so much to come close to him, he had told him so much about himself when Athrun hadn't even said Kira's name once. He felt guilt, he hadn't given Kira a chance, when Kira had been honest the whole time. He still couldn't understand why Kira wanted to be friends with him, when he had been acting like a jerk the whole time. But he realised that it wasn't his place to decide that, if Kira really wanted to be friends with him it was Kira's right to decide.

"Kira, I'm sorry…um, if you still want you…you can be my friend…" Athrun manage to stutter feeling extremely awkward.

"Eh?" Kira looked up surprised with big tearful eyes.

Athrun looked at the ground and kicked away a pebble with his right foot and then he looked at Kira again, "…if you don't want to, it's ok. I understand."

"Really! We're really friends!" Kira asked him expectantly.

"Well, um…Yeah." Athrun said and smiled for the first time in school and for the first time in a very long time.

But what they didn't know, they had caught the attention of the others and a few of them had gathered around them.

"Hey Zala, what did you do!"

"…"

"Why is Kira crying?"

"You did something didn't you? Well we'll show you what'll happen if you pick on Kira!"

"Yeah, you think you're better than everybody else, don't you? Well you'll pay this time."

Athrun was getting ready to fight but before that Kira took a stand in front of him and put out his arms as if to protect him.

"Stop!" he screamed looking really angry.

"Kira?" Athrun asked hesitantly, he had never seen Kira angry before and it seemed like the others hadn't either because they looked shocked and nobody said anything.

"Athrun hasn't done anything and even if he had I can take care of myself. I don't like fighting and I don't want anyone to fight because of me… But if you're going to hurt Athrun I'm not going to just stand and watch."

"Kira, why are you taking his side?"

"Because we're best friends." Kira said smiling this time.

"Best friends?

"Kira?" Athrun doubted his ears, "best friends" they were best friends?"

"Yeah, that's right. Come on lets go play soccer." Kira confirmed.

Everybody hesitated but slowly started to walk to the spot were they used to play soccer, they didn't even have proper goals they just placed out rocks instead.

Only Athrun was standing still.

"Athrun come on, what are you waiting for!" Kira turned around and shouted.

"Really I'm fine, I'll just stay here."

"What are you talking about, come on!" Kira ran up to him and grabbed his arm and practically dragged him away.

"W- wait, what are you doing!"

"You're playing too, honestly you wanna play don't you."

"…but the others don't want me to."

"Stop caring about what they think, I want you to play so do it for me Athrun."

"…alright, I'll play." Athrun finally gave in.

From that day, Athrun slowly started talking more and more in class and he slowly got accepted by the other kids. And from that day, Kira and he had been best friends.

I

A couple of weeks had passed since he and Cagalli had started seeing each other. There had been a mutual understanding that this affair should be kept secret. For Athrun it was obvious that he didn't want Kira to find out about it, he guessed that it would probably make him very mad. And he really didn't want Kira to be mad at him. For Cagalli it was also a simple decision, she didn't want to be seen with Athrun in public. Sure she was in love with him, but she knew that she would have deep trouble with Athrun's fan girls if they found out. And since their relationship really wasn't a relationship it would be hard to defend herself, Athrun would surely not defend her. And to be with Athrun would surely give her a not so favourable reputation she assumed.

Ever since the work with the sports festival, Cagalli had become a sort of unofficial member of the student council she attended almost every meeting they had if soccer practise didn't get in the way. Surprisingly she had found it to be quite fun and she got along with everybody really well, even Yzak though they argued a lot. There was only one person that she still didn't get along with. Of course that was Athrun. It actually was a favourable situation because it didn't blow their secret. She had actually wondered if she would be able to keep it a secret, would she be able to keep the same attitude that she had before? But it had turned out to be surprisingly easy. That was mainly because of Athrun's attitude, it was the same as ever and as before it provoked her to no end. So really she didn't have to act, it came very naturally. And when she was irritated she naturally called him Zala instead of Athrun so this far everything had worked out fine. But she wondered how he managed to be so different in school and when they were together alone.

"Eh, Princess isn't here?" Dearka asked.

Athrun suddenly paid attention, Princess was the nickname that Dearka had for Cagalli and Athrun was always sensitive to matters concerning her. While he pretended to look through some papers he listened to their conversation.

"No, I talked to Fllay today and it seems that wasn't in school yesterday either. Apparently she has been absent a few times."

"Is she sick?"

"It seems like she has problems with headaches."

"Is it serious?"

"Why do ask me? How should I know? …But no I don't think it's serious, I mean some people are prone to get headaches often."

"Yeah, you're probably right. She's no different from before when she is at school so there's probably nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, she's usually very lively, too lively if you ask me."

"You can't be honest, can you Yzak? You like her that way, am I wrong?"

"…shut up!"

"It's ok, I do too. Princess wouldn't be Princess if she wasn't so feisty."

"Hearing that coming from your mouth makes it sound so tainted."

"Hey, that's rude." Dearka said jokingly. "There is only one girl for me. Miriallia, I'm waiting for you to notice my charm."

"You'll wait forever."

"Ever since you got together with Fllay you've been acting so full of yourself."

"Wh-! In what way? I haven't changed one bit!"

"I take that back, you're as noisy as ever."

"DEARKA!"

As usual they were talking bullshit, but he seriously wondered about Cagalli. He hadn't noticed that she had been absent before maybe he had been too busy trying to ignore her. She didn't seem like the type who skipped school for something as trivial like a headache, just take a painkiller and it'll go over in half an hour. He got a little sulky, school was no fun with no Cagalli there to tease.

I

He reached her door and pressed the door bell, there was no answer. He tried again but there was still no sign of Cagalli. He banged at the door and shouted, "Cagalli! Open the door, I know you're in there!" He heard something moving inside and a second later he heard steps moving fast towards his direction and stopped by the other side of the door. He heard the locks open and slowly the door opened and he saw Cagalli's hesitantly looking at him, "Athrun? What are you doing here?"

"The question is what you are doing? Why weren't you at school?" he asked.

"…um well I had a headache so I decided to stay home today…"

"I hear it's not the first time though, you seem to have headaches fairly often…"

"So? What if I do?"

"Why do you stay home just because of headache?"

"Ju- Just a headache! Do you understand how it feels to have migraine? Do you?"

"But you don't have migraine do you?"

"…well no but" what is it with this guy, can he read minds or what? Cagalli couldn't help but wondering.

"Then you'll just have to take a pain killer and it'll pass, who am I going to tease if you aren't at school? Don't be so selfish Cagalli."

"Wh-! I'm not a pet that you can play with as you please! It's my business if I want to stay home or not. I don't remember you having any right to tell me what to do."

"I don't know Cagalli, but do you think it's wise to talk back like that?"

"Eh?"

"Let's see, what shall I do for payback? What do _you_ think, Cagalli…?" He said while smiling a lewd smile. That smile sent cold shivers down her spine, she was almost afraid because she didn't know what he might do.

"Wh- what do you mean payback! Stop screwing around!" Cagalli tried to hide her fear with anger a tactic that unfortunately didn't work on him and she should know it by now, Athrun thought, but in the end it made all the more fun for him.

She tried to close the door but it was too late, he was already holding it and it wasn't like she could compete with his strength.

"What are you doing? Are you trying to shut me out?"

"…No" she said not meeting his gaze.

"I thought so." He said and continued, "I'm coming in."

When she opened the door and let him in, he noticed that the curtains were down and the inside looked dark and gloomy, the light wasn't on. He took off his shoes and jacket and looked at Cagalli.

"Don't you think it's a little dark in here? Aren't you at least going turn the lights on?" Athrun asked wondering.

"Oh, yeah you're right." Cagalli said and turned on the lights, "There's really no point in open the curtains, it's almost dark outside anyway."

"Well, that's true…" Athrun said as he was eyeing Cagalli.

Maybe she felt uncomfortable to be looked at because she hurriedly said, "I'll put on some coffee. Do you want some?" and walked in to the kitchen.

"Yeah…" Athrun said thoughtfully. When he looked at her now when the lights were on, she did look pale. And wait, wasn't her shirt turned inside out? Maybe she really was sick. He had thought that she was just skipping classes, but then again that wouldn't be something that suited Cagalli's personality, with her strong sense of obligation.

"So how's the headache?" he asked.

"Eh, well I'm fine now." She said a little too cheerfully.

This wasn't the Cagalli he wanted to see, she was forcing herself. It didn't suit her, he wanted an honest response.

"That's great." He said and walked up behind her. "Cagalli…" he whispered in the most seductive voice he could and he couldn't help but smile a little when he felt Cagalli tremble a little. He didn't touch her he just stood very close, way too close for comfort.

"Do you mind?" she said, "I'm trying to make coffee here." Trying to make him back off.

"I do mind." He continued in the same voice and started to pull up her shirt.

"What are you doing!" Cagalli screamed.

"Do you know Cagalli…?" he whispered in her ear as he continued to pull up her shirt slowly.

"Wh- what?" she was almost afraid to ask.

"Your shirt is inside out." He said and as if he couldn't hold it in any longer he burst out laughing.

"What!" Cagalli said not clearly understanding what was happening. She turned around and she saw Athrun holding his stomach and his shoulders where shaking from laughter. And she looked at her shirt and indeed it was inside out. Her face turned red with indignation, he was just making fun of her!

"So what if my shirt is inside out, is that so bleeding funny?"

"…hahaha…well…hahahaha…yeah...haha"

"Anyway it's your fault, I wasn't dressed when you came and you were banging on the door. I didn't have time to check if it got right or not."

Suddenly he stopped laughing and she saw a dangerous glint in his eyes and subconsciously she swallowed.

"Well then I guess I'll have to take responsibility…and make it right..."

"You- you don't have to. I can dress by myself."

"Really now, it doesn't look like it to me."

"That was just an accident because I had to hurry to open the door."

"No really I insist, I'll help you."

"Nooooooooo!" She screamed out in despair but her plea was in the end unheard.

He grabbed her arm and dragged her to the bedroom.

"S- stop, I haven't even showered today."

"Shower huh? You can do that afterwards …I will help."

"I don't need help to shower."

"Here I am trying to help, and you just reject it. I'm hurt, Cagalli."

"Sure you're trying to help me…I think not!"

"What did I say about talking back?" Athrun said smiling that scary smile again. "As I thought I have to think up something… as payback…" he emphasized on the last part as he was pressing her arms against the mattress.

"Wait, Athrun!" Cagalli panicked.

"Don't worry, I promise it won't hurt…"

I

She got up from the bed rather swiftly and took a few steps when she suddenly crumpled on the floor.

"Cagalli!" Athrun rushed to her and crouched beside her, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just got dizzy that's all."

"That doesn't sound fine to me."

"It's nothing, it's probably because I have low blood-pressure and also I haven't eaten anything today."

"You're telling me you haven't eaten anything today? Idiot!"

"Wh- What do you mean idiot? I'm not an idiot!"

"Well if you don't eat it's not strange you get headaches for example. You have to take better care of yourself!"

"…yeah but…"

"Not another word, come on can you stand up?" Athrun stood up and lent her a hand.

"…yeah." She said and took it, and with his help she got up from the floor.

"You take a shower while I fix us something to eat." and Athrun who already was wearing clothes went out to the kitchen to se what she had in the fridge.

"Ah, wait!" Cagalli said hurriedly.

"What?" Athrun said but didn't stop. He opened the fridge and he actually was amazed. There was absolutely nothing in there except for a package of milk that was way past its best-before date and a cucumber that had definitely seen better days.

"Cagalli…" he looked at her doubtingly as she too came into the kitchen.

"W- what?"

"What do you live on?"

"I usually buy a sandwich at school and then I eat ramen."

"…I'm amazed that they let you live on your own."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you can't live on instant ramen alone, you'll get malnourished. Ever heard of scurvy? Your teeth will fall off. You'll be a medical wonder, the first scurvy patient in a hundred years."

"I won't get scurvy and my teeth won't fall off!"

"They will if you don't start eating better… …By the way Cagalli, are you sure you want to be standing there looking like that? I'm getting confused here, you've hadn't had enough? Because how can I interpret that in any other way than that you're trying to tempt me…" he said while following Cagalli's body with his eyes and smiling provocatively.

That's right she was standing, in the kitchen only wearing knickers hiding her breast in the same way like those blonde chicks in the front pages of men's magazines usually do.

A few seconds past with no reaction from Cagalli then suddenly she screamed, "Kyaaaaaaa!" and dashed out from the kitchen and into the bathroom and looked the door. Athrun just grabbed a book from his schoolbag and sat down in the sofa waiting for Cagalli to come out.

After what must have been half an hour he heard the bathroom door opened, he put down the book and looked at Cagalli. He noticed that she wouldn't look him in the eyes, "Are you still embarrassed about what happened?"

"…"

"I don't understand what's so embarrassing, I've already seen everything there is to see." He chuckled.

"…It's still embarrassing." She had wrapped a towel around her and small drips of water fell one by one from her still wet hair. He would lie if he would say that her current appearance didn't tempt him, but there was something more urgent to deal with right now.

"Come on hurry and get dressed and then we'll go out. It's my treat."

"Eh? Is it ok, what if somebody sees us?"

"Never mind that, we've got to get you something to eat, don't we? Anyway I know a place were students don't usually come.

I

Next day when Cagalli opened her locker she saw something unfamiliar, a bento-box. Confused she took it and she saw a note that said, "From your secret admirer".

"That jerk, he's making fun of me again." She muttered and when she thought about it, how the hell did he get into her locker!" She closed the locker with a bang but as she went to the classroom there was a smile on her lips.

I

At first Athrun pretended not to see, later he acknowledged the fact but pretended not to care. But soon he was getting annoyed, Cagalli was really popular. Both among girls and boys. Actually he had seen Cagalli confessed to by a number of people and every time it felt as something was wringing his chest and soon something dark started to crawl out and spreading inside of him. Especially when he saw her with Kira. When she was with Kira she always seemed to be smiling and laughing. It was a smile like the sun, but that smile had never been directed at Athrun. Why? Why didn't she smile like that towards him? The question started to eat him from the inside. Well not that he cared of course, but was Cagalli just one more of those slutty girls who were only having him for sex? Not that it mattered he would break up with her soon anyway, well technically they weren't actually together. But still it annoyed him that she really didn't seem to need him. That someone else than him could make her smile like that. And more than anything he was annoyed with himself for having these thoughts, why did it bother him so much? It was something he couldn't understand.

I

"Cagalli!"

She turned around to the direction where the voice was coming from and she saw Kira walking towards her.

"Kira, what is it?" she asked him when he had reached her and was standing in front of her.

"Ah, eh, I was thinking, we haven't seen each other so much lately. Won't you come over to my house after school."

"Eh?"

"Y- Y- You don't have to worry, my mom is home. I don't mean anything strange."

"No it's nothing like that. It's just that I was surprised, I've never been to your house before. But when you think about it, it's strange isn't it? We have been so much together and I've been outside your house so many times it's funny that I haven't been inside yet, hahaha." She laughed nervously. Yes they hadn't seen so much of each other lately and there was really only one reason for that: Athrun. But of course she couldn't say that to Kira. Her relationship with Athrun was to be a secret, and to be honest she wanted it to stay that way.

"So, what do you say?" Kira looking a little confused by her rushed behaviour.

"Yeah, sure I'm looking forward to meeting your mom." She smiled widely._ "I've promised to meet Athrun tonight but there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to manage both."_ She thought.

Kira lit up on that reply, "Great, then we walk home as usual, you don't have any practise today right?"

"No we have it in the mornings on Tuesdays."

"Great, it'll be fun to hang out."

"Yeah."

I

"Mom, I'm home!" Kira shouted as he closed the door behind them.

"Welcome home Kira." Kira's mom came out in the hall from the kitchen, she wore an apron. To Cagalli it was really exotic sight, she never had a mom and she looked with great interest at Kira's mom.

"My, and who can this be? I didn't know Kira knew such a cute girl." Mrs. Yamato exclaimed.

Both Kira's and Cagalli's cheeks turned red in an instant, "Mom! Don't be so embarrassing!"

"Hohoho, what's so embarrassing?" Mrs. Yamato chuckled amusedly.

"You're really enjoying this aren't you?"

"Of course I am, I want to know all Kira's new friends."

Kira sighed and mumbled something about that's wasn't what he meant and Cagalli who had recovered from the shock of being called cute put her hand forward and introduced herself, "I'm Cagalli Yula, I'm in the same class as Kira."

"Oh, is that so."

"She's pretty new, she transferred to us in October."

"You did, so how do you find your new school?"

"I like it, it's been really fun."

"I wish you could make Kira think school was fun too. What am I to do with you Kira?"

"Mom! At least there is nothing wrong with my grades." Kira said pouting.

"I'm just teasing you honey. Hohoho, don't take it so seriously.

After they had had a snack together with Kira's mom they went upstairs to Kira's room.

"So what do you want to do?" Kira asked.

"I don't know. Have you begun with that history report?"

"…Don't mention that now. We have two weeks left haven't we? I really didn't have homework in mind."

"Ok, no homework."

"Do you wanna play video-games or something?"

"Hmm, yeah that could be fun."

I

"That wasn't fun at all." Cagalli crossed her arms pouting.

"Sorry, sorry." Kira smiled apologetically.

"Why do you have to win all the time?"

"I'm sorry, it wasn't on purpose…"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? To know that you were holding back and still you beat the crap out of me:"

"It can't be helped, you haven't played that game before and I've played it hundreds of times."

"But it looked fun…"

"Well it is fun, once you get into it."

Cagalli sighed and gave up the pouting, instead she got up from the floor and started to look around Kira's room. It looked suspiciously newly cleaned. Something told her that this wasn't how the room usually looked. Well it was cleaned but there were things all over the place, the exact opposite of Athrun's bare to minimum room. But really this room felt much more like a home than Athrun's and that was a good thing. She looked in the bookshelf, and there were almost no books in it, just manga, anime-DVDs, games and magazines. But on the other hand there was an abundant amount of that.

"I didn't know you were an otaku." Cagalli said smiling teasingly.

"Otaku? That's harsh, Cagalli."

"Hmm, let's see… Eh, what's this? Etchi!" Cagalli looked shocked.

"Kira's face turned blue, "What? There aren't supposed t-"

"Hahaha, I'm joking, I'm joking."

"Cagalli!" Kira complained blushing.

"I'm sorry. It was payback for beating me at that game." Cagalli looked very satisfied.

"…_mental note: don't ever compete with Cagalli again. Cagallibad loser."_

"Say, Cagalli…"

"What?"

"Why do you keep going to student council meetings? It's not like you have to anymore."

"Why you ask? Hmm, I guess I just can't leave them alone. I mean who knows what will happen. Heine and Dearka would just chatter away like two old ladies and Yzak would try to strangle Athrun again, I'd feel sorry for Nicole and Rusty."

"Athrun?" Kira asked suspiciously.

Aah, crap, why did she have to say Athrun? She always called him Zala in school, will Kira find out? No, there was no reason that Kira should find out she thought composedly. _"Just keep cool and he won't notice anything."_

"Yeah, that bastard Athrun Zala. If I didn't know any better I would think that his trying to provoke Yzak. Oh, sorry he's your friend right? I didn't mean to badmouth him." Cagalli ended with apologising.

"Don't worry about it, I know Athrun isn't the easiest person to be around." Kira smiled somewhere relived.

I

"Where have you been? Why are you so late?" Athrun asked in a low voice.

"Ah, sorry I was at Kira's, and his mother asked me to join them for dinner and I couldn't bring myself to say no."

"Kira?" Athrun could feel something snapped, the deep dark jealousy he had been carrying was taking overhand pushing away all reason.

"Yeah, I haven't seen Kira so much lately it was really fun to hang out. And Kira's mother is really great too, but Kir…"

"Kira, Kira, Kira if you like him so much why don't you sleep with him too, or maybe you already have you dirty whore."

"What the fuck did you call me! I haven't done anything to deserve being called that. Are you out of your fucking mind you fucking bastard?" Cagalli blew up in anger.

"But you're not denying that you've slept with him?" Athrun ignored Cagalli's outburst.

"I don't see how that's any you business, it's not like we're together or anything." As soon as she had said she regretted it, she had been too angry to think clearly. Of course she hadn't slept with Kira, Kira was only a friend. But Athrun immediately started jumping into conclusions and on top that calling her a whore, it wasn't right. But now she regretted what she had said and became afraid, afraid of Athrun's reaction. In her heart she wanted to be with him but he made it so difficult. She held her breath too scared to even breathe, maybe he would break up with her. No anything but that.

Eventually Athrun spoke, "You're right, we're not together so would you please get out of here. I think I will call someone else tonight." He said but in reality he didn't mean one word of it, actually he hadn't slept with anyone else since he met Cagalli. He didn't know why but he didn't find any interest in anybody else at the moment. Concerning Cagalli on the other hand he was too interested for his own good, he had started to realise that but in the end he couldn't keep away from her. Frankly she excited him too much. Really he wasn't going to let her go, not before he could vent this dark feeling that was about to overflow, not before he had fucked her senseless.

"Eh?"

"Didn't you hear me?" he said coldly.

"I'm sorry I said that, it's just that I got so angry, I'm not a whore."

"Really?" he asked as if he was sceptical to whether that was true.

"I haven't slept with Kira if that's what you're wondering. I haven't slept with anybody but you."

"…"

"Athrun?" Cagalli got nervous from his silence.

Suddenly he moved very fast and before Cagalli could register what was happening she had fallen to the floor with Athrun on top of her. She understood what was happening, Athrun's hands were all over her but it wasn't in the usual gentle way, it felt rough and hurried.

"Athrun, …aa… not here my back hurts."

"Shut up I'm not going to wait." He ripped off her panties and pulled down his pants. He entered her in without having made enough preparations, it felt like it was burning inside of her "Aaa…" she let out a groan because of the pain. She felt his deep heavy breathing in her ear, and he felt unusually heavy, it pressured her chest and it was hard to breathe. He started move.

"Ow! It… hurts… Ath- uh… Athrun."

"…it'll soon feel…uh …better."

"…How…nnn… do you know?"

He didn't answer but she could feel his breathing become harsher and his movement become faster.

"Uh… Cagalli" he crumpled on top of her. She could feel his weight and his harsh breathing. They lay there for a while still connected. Aah, maybe this was happiness she thought, he had been jealous at Kira over her. If he was jealous it meant he really cared about her, if he was jealous she was ready to do what it would take make him understand that there was no need. It was silly and totally unnecessary, of course she wouldn't sleep with anyone else. There was only one for her, she knew that.

He pulled himself out of her and pulled up his pants still lying on the floor. She looked for her underwear, found them and put them on and straightened out her skirt.

He turned his head and looked at her, "Shower?" His breathing had calmed down considerably and he seemed calm.

"Yeah." Cagalli smiled weakly.

I

He could see that she had been crying, he could see that she smiled weakly to hide it. And it made him irritated. That hollow smile did nothing but make him irritated. But there was somewhere there was something else that bothered him. Why did he feel so hollow afterwards, after he had sex with her? It made him confused and irritated, was it a signal? A signal that it was time to let go?

He saw that Cagalli was looking at him with worrying questioning eyes. He looked away, he didn't say anything. He didn't feel like looking at her right now, he didn't feel like being with her right now. He didn't like how it made him feel right now. They stayed that way for a while when Athrun finally spoke, "I'll take you home."

"Eh?" Cagalli said. She was probably surprised, because she always used stay over night. She even had some of her clothes here. She even had her own toothbrush. But tonight he wanted to be alone.

"Come on." He just said and started walking out the room. He didn't look back, to see if she was following. He just walked out and down the stairs. After a while he could hear Cagalli coming after him with fast steps. He could feel that she was cautious around him right now, when she reached him she stayed a few steps behind him.

They walked in silence, it had been getting cold, that time of the year was approaching. Their breaths turned into white clouds and neither of them was wearing enough clothes. It was cold, but Athrun didn't really care.

They reached Cagalli's house and they stopped outside the door.

"…see you around." Athrun said was about to leave when Cagalli called, "Athrun!"

"What?" he said not turning to face her.

She seemed to hesitate and in the end she just said, "Nothing, see you tomorrow."

"…yeah." He said as he bent his steps back home in the cold night.


	9. Human Behaviour

Hi, I'm back again. I got many reviews for the last chapter, very happy for that. Honestly I was a little worried how it would be received, but I'm glad so many seemed to like it. Thank you very much.

Sorry for the very late update, for some reason this chapter was really hard to write for me. I will try to compensate this somehow.

I've written a little (very little) side story that takes place between chapter 7 and 8, I haven't bothered to upload it here. If you feel like reading it, it's on my website (you'll find the link in my profile page). It explains why Cagalli won't get pregnant...

Again note that I wont be able to answer the reviews if you review anonymously.

* * *

**Human Behaviour**

Where does this loneliness come from? Where does all this insecurity come from? When I was younger I don't remember being so insecure. I didn't hate myself. I just went through the day without thinking about what other people thought about me. I did feel lonely many times back then too, but in my heart I knew that father and everybody else loved me.

Now I'm never sure, about people's love, about my own feelings. I search for confirmation but I never find it. Because I know I'm not the person that they think I am. Sometimes black feelings come overflowing. That's when nothing matters anymore. That's when I wonder what I'm doing here in the first place. That's when I wonder why there is a "me", when I can't find the value of the existence of me. Bad days come when I feel like a black hole is consuming me. But no one notice. No one notice my ugly inside that is the real me. They just see what they want to see, a smiling happy me, friendly to everyone. They don't see that that smile is a desperate attempt to hold on. They don't see that I'm never honest. And that makes me fear that if they knew the real me, they wouldn't like me.

But that's maybe why I love you? You are never honest, just like me. I see myself in you, I didn't want to admit it but in many ways we're the same you and I. Maybe I'm worse than you? You love me don't you? I think you love me, I want to believe it. Please love me Athrun.

I

"Party?" Cagalli asked.

"Come on Cagalli, haven't you heard? You hang around those losers all the time." Fllay looked at her in amazement.

"…I must've forgotten." Cagalli couldn't bring herself to remember any talk about a party. She had been too busy thinking about Athrun. Since that night, he had been cold towards her, it had gone one week now and she hadn't been at his house since. But still she could feel his gaze sometimes but when she returned it, he averted his eyes. Why had it become like this? She wanted to make up but she didn't know how when he wouldn't even let her come close to him.

"…lli."

"Cagalli!" Fllay suddenly shouted in her ear.

"What, Fllay? Why are you shouting, do you want to make me deaf or something?" Cagalli said a little irritated.

"It's because you're not listening! Seriously what is wrong with you lately? Always in the blue…"

"Sorry, Fllay…Really it's nothing. So when is this party?"

"Dearka said the Saturday after the exams." Miriallia said.

"Dearka?"

"Oh yeah, you weren't listening before so you wouldn't know but it's Dearka who's having the party at his place."

"At his place? Do his parents allow that?"

"…Cagalli in what world do you live in? Of course they don't."

"More accurately they don't know about it so they don't have a chance to have an opinion."

"…that's convenient…"

"Well it's not like they don't have anything to do with it, if they're never home how are they supposed to know what their kids are up to?"

"It's a favorable situation for us though, I'm really looking forward to it, say what you will about Dearka but his parties are the best. I wonder what I'm going to wear." Fllay started to make shopping plans in her head, just because she had a boyfriend she couldn't relax. She had a reputation to think about, she was the school's fashion queen and she certainly wasn't going to let that go.

"Fllay…" Miriallia sighed, but chuckled a little at her friend.

"Are you going, Miri?" Cagalli asked with uncertainty.

"Yeah, of course I'm going, can't miss the party of the year." Miriallia said looking amused.

"But I thought you didn't like Dearka."

"I don't have to like him to come to his party."

"Cagalli you're so thickheaded. She's pretending that she doesn't like him but reality she does." Fllay butted in.

"Eh? Is that true? …I'm not thickheaded!"

"Don't listen to her Cagalli, I don't like him, really. And Fllay, stop saying that, can't you accept when I say I don't like him. I'm serious.

"So? I am serious too." Fllay said not caring too much about Miriallia's apparent irritation.

I

The final exams were finally over, and the day of the party had arrived. Cagalli thought she had done fairly well, after all she had actually been studying during the whole term. It was worse for Kira, since he hadn't been studying until the week before the tests, he had been forced to sit day and night desperately trying to cram the most important stuff and pray for the best. One thing led to another and perhaps because of all the stress Kira suddenly got sick after the last exam.

On the day of the party Cagalli had received a SMS from Kira saying that he couldn't come. Truthfully Cagalli was disappointed, she really had wanted Kira to be there. She had never been to a party before, and even if Fllay and Miri and the guys from the student council would be there, it would have felt better if he was there. Especially now that Athrun wasn't talking to her, not that they could talk in public anyway, even if things were different between them. But still she would go, there was no way that Fllay was going to let her back out now. And maybe, maybe she would get an opportunity to set things right with Athrun again, no matter how improbable that may seem.

I

Athrun came to the party alone and was greeted by already slightly intoxicated Dearka.

"Athrun, I'm glad you could come!" he said happily.

"Thanks Dearka." Athrun said while skilfully dodging the hug that was coming from Dearka, "Just please no hugs, I don't want to be hugged by any guy."

"Oh, come on, don't be so stiff. We're all friends."

"Sure…"

"Athrunnn!" he heard another familiar voice. Heine. He knew that he would be here but when he was confronted with the reality of it, he felt like he shouldn't have come after all.

"Hello, Heine." Athrun said shortly while pushing him away to avoid a second hugging attempt.

"Dearkaaaa, Athrun is pushing me away!" Heine whined.

"There, there Heine, come to Dearka. I will comfort you." Dearka said and hugged him and stroke his hair gently like a mother would and Heine wept crocodile tears against Dearka's shoulder.

Athrun just looked at them coldly for a moment before he made an effortless attempt to leave them.

"Wait Athrun, we're just joking."

"I know that, I just don't find the humour in it."

"It's because you don't have any humour." Heine said smiling too much.

"Is that all?" Athrun simply answered and made a new attempt to walk away from them.

"Wait, sorry Athrun. Do you want anything to drink? I'll get it for you." Dearka tried to appease Athrun who seemed to be in an even worse mood than usual.

Athrun sighed as if he had given up, "Sure, what do you have?"

"Everything." Dearka said grinning.

A few minutes later and with a glass of single malt whisky in his hand Athrun finally got away from the fearsome duo. They were bad enough at school but when drunk they were at least ten times worse.

Athrun tried to keep a low profile as he checked the surroundings, he couldn't be sure. There were many people there and it was a big house but he got the feeling that Cagalli hadn't arrived yet. The big giveaway was that Dearka wasn't stalking Miriallia, which could only mean that she hadn't come yet and Cagalli would most probably come together with her and Fllay. So he kept near the entrance so he wouldn't miss her arrival. Maybe it sounded strange, when he had been avoiding her all this time, but there was only one reason he was here, Cagalli.

When he heard about the party he hadn't had the slightest intention of going, despite Dearka's and Heine's efforts to persuade him or rather because of them he got more and more convinced that he didn't want to go. But when he understood that Cagalli would go, he changed his mind. Maybe he had avoided her but he hadn't stopped thinking about her. That was the problem he couldn't stop thinking about her.

But thinking about what he had seen of Cagalli's alcohol tolerance level, and the fact it was going to be a big party with lots of people and with lots of guys that could not be trusted. Actually not one guy at this party could be trusted. Knowing that and knowing how oblivious Cagalli was of her attractiveness, and still stubbornly unwilling to recognise that there actually was a difference in physical strength between women and men made the decision easy for him.

Somewhere, there was also the worry that Cagalli might, find someone else. Sure it was he who hadn't spoken to her but now that didn't feel so important. He wasn't ready to let someone else have her yet. Right now just the thought of her in someone else's arms made him in an inexplicably bad mood.

After what must have been about half an hour, Cagalli finally came, together with Miriallia, Fllay and for some reason Yzak, apparently in a foul mood. How surprising. More accurately Yzak and Fllay were having an argument.

"Why are you sulking?" Fllay said impatiently.

"I'm not sulking!" Yzak protested.

"You so are!"

"Am not!"

"…" this answer or rather Yzak stubbornness didn't seem to go well with Fllay, she started to look really angry. And you could almost see how the atmosphere around her turned jet black. The people who were near, slowly started to back away from her, cautiously not to offend the now very scary Fllay. Yzak noticed it too of course. Even if it was Yzak, there was no way he wouldn't notice the black aura that surrounded her. But Yzak wouldn't be Yzak if he backed down from an argument, but at least it seemed he changed his tactics, "I was just wondered how long it can possibly take to get ready, have you any idea how long I had to wait for you to finish?" He shouted with thunderous voice. Ah, the open attack strategy, Yzak's favourite.

"A girl needs time to get ready that's just how it is, right Miri?"

"Don't drag me into this…" Miriallia said looking extremely reluctant.

"Needs time for what? And because of that we're totally late!" Yzak screamed.

"Are you stupid or what! No one comes in time for a party."

"Hmpf, if there is anyone I don't want to hear that from it's you. And I don't care what people think, I don't like to be late."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It means just that."

"Are you calling me stupid? You weirdo!"

"Who are you calling a weirdo!"

At that point you could hear a voice coming closer from another direction, "Ah, I hear fighting. My darling Yzak must have arrived!" Heine came running. But switched focus when he caught sight of Cagalli, "Cagalli-cutie! You came! Come hear and let me hug you!"

Athrun who was observing, bit his tongue in frustration. He definitely didn't want to let Heine hug Cagalli, but he was helpless in this situation. If he acted now, it would definitely raise a lot of questions.

He couldn't do anything and he gritted his teeth as he watched Cagalli get caught in Heine's arms. Cagalli looked surprised, but obediently let him hug her at first, but after a while she started to look a little uneasy. He wouldn't let go.

"Cagalli-cutie, you're so soft." Heine said happily.

"Who are you calling Cagalli-cutie?" Cagalli protested.

"Heine, what the hell are you doing? That's way to long for a friendly hug!" Yzak shouted and grabbed Heine and pulled him away from Cagalli.

Athrun, who had started to reach the limit of what he could take, found an unexpected ally in Yzak.

"That's mean Yzak, it was just an innocent little hug." Heine whined, "And Cagalli-cutie didn't mind."

"Innocent you say? Don't make me laugh."

"There is not nothing wrong with hugging, everybody should hug each other more. Yzak, you can have one to."

"There is no way I'm letting you hug me!"

"No one's letting me hug them, I feel so unloved."

"Stop screwing around!"

"That reminds me, where is the boyfriend?" Heine looked like he just realized something.

"Yeah, Yamato. He should be coming too, shouldn't he?"

"Oh, Kira? He's ill it seems." Miriallia said.

"Yeah, he has a fever. And he's not my boyfriend." Cagalli said.

"Then there is nothing wrong with me hugging you."

"Yes there is, keep your pervert hands away from Cagalli." Fllay contradicted him.

"Pervert? That's too harsh... I only got one little hug."

"Don't worry you get as many as you like from me." Dearka said grinning as he was walking to them.

"Where have you been Dearka?"

"I had to stop an accident from happening, it's hard work having a party. You have to make sure that the house will be kept in one piece… Hi Miri, I'm glad you could come."

"Oi! So you're just going to ignore us?" Yzak asked irritated.

"Hi, Yzak. Still as noisy as ever."

"What kind of greeting is that?"

"I could say the same thing you know?"

"You coward!"

"Anyway, Miri, Cagalli, Fllay, do you want something to drink?"

Athrun tried to look indifferent while he carefully observed everything that was happening. But what was that skirt Cagalli was wearing? If it were any shorter you would see her bloody underwear. And that décolletage it was so low you could actually see the bra, what was she thinking? Put aside that it was winter and very cold outside, not the most suitable weather for such light clothing what was it that she wanted to achieve by wearing that kind of outfit? She looked… flirtatious. Athrun felt how his irritation was rising further, especially since he noticed how everybody looked in Cagalli's group's direction. He was interrupted though by someone who grabbed his arm.

"Hey Athrun, why haven't you called me? It's been so long since we..." A sulky voice said. Athrun looked down to his side and saw a familiar face a girl he used to sleep with from time to time, naturally there was no intention of being serious from either of them. Right now she seemed to be somewhat drunk.

"I don't remember having any obligation to tell you." Athrun said and looked in Cagalli's direction again.

"Oh, come on. Please tell me…"

"…I've just haven't been in the mood." Athrun answered this time without bothering to look at the girl. A behaviour that made her suspicious and she looked in the same direction.

"Athrun, what are you looking at?"

Athrun felt a tinge of irritation but only answered, "Nothing particular."

And as if the first girl had been the start signal, more of them dared to approach him.

"Don't think you can occupy Athrun all by yourself!" A girl said, and before you knew it, a little group of girls had gathered around him. To Athrun they were nothing more than a bother, but he didn't want to start anything that might catch attention and he could actually use these girls as a cover to be near Cagalli without causing suspicions. So he didn't do anything to stop them, he just listen to their conversation and answered their questions half-heartedly as he was steeling glances of Cagalli.

On the other side Cagalli was holding the drink she had received from Dearka and eyeing it suspiciously.

"What are you waiting for Cagalli? Come on, drink." Fllay said to her.

But remembering the beer Athrun had given her, she was very suspicious. It had made her feel strange but what's worse the taste had been really terrible but she had drunken it anyway. Finally she braced herself and tried a small sip, and she was greatly surprised. It tasted really good. It was sparkly and it tickled her tongue a little

"This is really good what is it?" She asked.

"Champagne, Bollinger to be exact."

"You never had champagne?" Fllay asked.

"I've only tried beer before and I didn't like it at all."

"Why on earth did you drink beer? I hate beer too, I never drink beer."

"I don't like beer either, girls don't usually drink it." Miriallia agreed.

"I'm glad you like it ladies." Dearka said pleased.

"Yeah it's pretty ok, considering." Miriallia, not ready to commend Dearka.

Cagalli had noticed Athrun as soon as she came, well she had actually searched for him. And as usual he was looking too good for his own good, and she wondered what he thought about her. She had asked Fllay to help her find appropriate clothes and make-up, not telling the real purpose of course. Maybe it was a desperate measure, to try to make him interested again by wearing slightly provocative clothes, but she was at her wits end. She really was desperate in her wish to make him see her again, to touch her again, even teasing her would be better than this indifference. Therefore it came as a shock, to see how girls other than her were gathering around him, and he didn't do anything to stop them. It was like the ultimate sign, that they were over, things were back exactly as they were before. In frustration, she emptied her glass and asked for another one.

On Cagalli's demand she, Fllay and Miriallia changed room, to have some "female bonding" as Fllay put it. Cagalli just wanted to get away from Athrun. They talked together for awhile but later Fllay said she was going to find Yzak and only Miriallia and Cagalli were left. Miriallia was in a good mood, it had been surprisingly easy to shake free of Dearka and smiling she sipped from her drink as she looked at the people around her.

Cagalli's mood on the other hand was quite opposite. She was thinking about Athrun and after a little while he too came into this room. He had placed himself at the other end of it, and it was a pretty large room but still he was clearly visible or would have been if it weren't for all the girls that were surrounding him. When Miriallia said that she was going to the bathroom she hardly noticed, she just nodded.

She felt angry, a few of them she recognised, she had seen him with them before. She knew she and Athrun didn't have a real relationship but as long as he was sleeping with her he could at least keep his hands away from other girls. It wasn't like he had explicitly said they were through.

But then she noticed, what was she thinking? Had she become so deprived, that she could think about her relationship with him in such terms? When she loved him this much? But seeing him like this made her want to vent her frustration somewhere. It struck her that maybe he was doing it to tease her, or maybe provoke her. Well in that case she would show him, that she also could. She emptied the glass she was holding and refilled it, she felt like it would be a little easier to stand it if she numbed herself a little.

She emptied that glass too and sure enough she was starting to feel fuddled. The music was loud and it felt like it was drowning her thoughts. She was thinking if she would go and try to find some of the others in the student council because they were sure to be here somewhere when she heard someone speak to her,

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Eh?" She looked at the owner of the voice and it was a guy she didn't recognise but still he had to be one of the students at school she thought. He looked pretty good she guessed but not as good as that bastard Athrun. But, as she thought more about it, it was an opportunity to make Athrun jealous. It was unfair that she should be the only one who was jealous.

"Do you want something to drink? I can get it for you." The guy asked again.

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks." She smiled at him. He looked happy and smiled back and asked, "What do you want?"

"Eh, I'm not used to drinking so I don't know anything… I'll have whatever you're having, as long it's not beer." Cagalli said a little embarrassed, not knowing anything made her felt like an ignorant little kid.

He smiled a little wilder and she felt a little irritated, so what if she didn't have any experience? It wasn't that funny.

"Ok, I get it. Something that doesn't taste so much alcohol then." He smiled and went to fix them the drinks.

She stood there waiting, while fighting the urge to look in Athrun's direction. There were quite a lot of people there, talking, laughing, dancing, drinking in this room that was quite tastefully decorated. It felt a little odd since she never had been to a party before but the mood certainly wasn't unpleasant. But when she noticed a couple making out right behind her she quickly moved away with blushing cheeks. She looked around her and she wondered where Miriallia had gone, should it take so long to go to the bathroom?

I

Miriallia came out of the bathroom, and was about to go back to Cagalli when she noticed someone who was standing talking and laughing with a couple of other guys, someone she knew so well. Someone who she could only associate with pain now.

Instinctively she tried to pass without him noticing it, but it came to nothing when he suddenly turned around and his eyes met with hers. She immediately averted hers and tried to escape but he called out her name, "Miriallia!"

Still she tried to ignore him but he stopped her by grabbing her arm, "Please, don't go Miriallia. Can't we talk?" he said pleadingly.

Miriallia turned to face him and looked up at him with tears threatening to well up from her eyes, "Why can't you just leave me alone? Haven't you done enough to me!"

"Please, Miri. I just want to talk." He looked her straight in the eye and she couldn't stand it so she averted her eyes. It felt unfair that he was able to do that. When she couldn't, when she was the one who had been betrayed.

"What is there to talk about?" She asked shortly looking away.

"I want to apologise." He said and he sounded so sincere, which made it even harder to keep her guard against him. But it was to late now, "I don't need you apologises."

"I made a terrible mistake, I know that. There is not a day that goes by that I don't regret it."

"I wonder how your girlfriend would feel if she knew you were calling her a mistake."

"…she's not my girlfriend anymore. We broke up soon after, the last time I saw you."

"Well that's too bad for you, but it has nothing to do with me."

"I know you must feel very angry, and I know you might not forgive me. But I want a second chance." He started to sound desperate and the grip he had round her wrist tightened.

"A second chance? That's a nice one, hahaha. Now enough with the jokes and leave me alone." She pulled back her hand and started to walk away from him again but he grabbed her shoulder, not hard, but as if to let him say one last thing.

"I don't mean to get back together, I know that's impossible. But I really want us to be friends, I miss you."

"…Just stop bothering me." She said but in reality she wavered, what he said sounded so tempting, honestly that was what she had wished herself so many times. How many times hadn't she asked herself what if? What if they had just stayed friends, not involved love. Because that was what she was missing, the love had gone away since long ago, but the loss and the want of their friendship was the thing that still tortured her.

Their quarrel had caught a lot of attention and Dearka had also noticed and decided to intervene.

"I want you to get out of here. If Miri doesn't want to see you, you're not welcome." Dearka said coldly to Tolle.

Tolle looked a little shocked and backed down a few steps from Dearka who was looking very threatening at that moment.

"You stay out of this Elsman, this is our problem and it's got nothing to do with you." Miriallia stopped him and looked at him with eyes that said that she wouldn't forgive him if he meddled any further.

Dearka looked surprised and hurt at first but soon his countenance turned very dark, "…I get it. Fine, I won't bother you anymore. Sorry for being such a bother." He said stiffly before he walked away.

Tolle looked questioningly at Miriallia and eventually it looked like she had made a resolve, she took a deep breath and she opened her mouth, "Sorry, but I can't be friends with you, not right now. You already made your choice long ago. You can't do a thing like that and expect us to stay the same. I miss you too, I miss my childhood friend. But we can't go back and the one that made it so was you. It's sad isn't it? But for me there is no other way." This time she looked him at him straight and seriously. There was no hesitation, there was nothing that could be questioned, it was how it was and how it would be.

Tolle looked devastated, but soon it was resignation you could se in his face, he looked at her sadly and finally said,

"…I understand. I won't mention it again, I won't try to contact you anymore. Just let me say I'm truly sorry, I never meant for it to become like this. I'm glad to have been your friend and I really love you, but I understand what you're saying. It really is sad, and it's my fault… I hope you'll be happy, Miriallia."

"…I hope you'll be happy too. Though I can't be there with you."

"So this is goodbye…"

"Yeah."

"Well I better get going so I don't get my ass kicked." Tolle said smiling faintly and left for front door.

Miriallia followed him with her gaze and when he had disappeared, she started sobbing.

Fllay who also had been watching the events approached her, "Miri what are you doing? Why did you say that to Dearka?"

"What did it look like I was doing? I'm tired of his meddling and I finally put an end to it today."

"Are you sure you're ok with this? Even Dearka must have his limits, he sounded pretty serious."

"Just the way I like it, I'm tired of being harassed by that playboy."

"I thought you liked him."

"That's something you decided on your own. You didn't listen when I said I didn't, well I was serious."

"Just don't regret this later, though I think you will."

"…I'm leaving this place now."

"Should I call a taxi?"

"I can do that myself."

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"Yeah, be careful now."

"You too, you're sure you'll be ok?" Fllay asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm sure, see you. Miriallia wiped her eyes and tried to smile a little.

"See you."

I

"What do you say? It's so noisy here it's kind of hard to have a decent conversation, maybe we can go somewhere else?" The guy said in her ear. Cagalli hesitated, she still wanted to keep an eye on Athrun so to speak. But when she looked at his direction he looked like he was in deep conversation with a very cute girl, she could see that the girl was hugging his arm pressing her breast against him, and Athrun, he didn't seem to mind! Alright, if he wanted it that way, fine take that bitch. There were other people than Athrun that could appreciate her more. She would show him! In an instant she emptied the remainder of what was in the glass and turned to the guy, he had probably said his name, but she had forgotten or she hadn't heard. "Sure, why not? I've no reason to stay here."

"Great." He smiled a gentle smile, yeah that smile was really cute she thought.

How she got here she didn't know, fragments of memories showing themselves in her mind. Pictures of a stair, where she stumbled and busted into the wall with her shoulder. She had trouble standing up, she had to use cling to the wall for support until a kind hand reached out to her and helped her up. Now she was in some kind of study-like room, with a big desk by the window and a heavy-looking sofa armchairs.

She looked absentmindedly at the guy with the kind smile whose name she couldn't remember, about to ask what they were doing here when she lost her balance and fell down on the sofa. Or had he pushed her? She wasn't sure, but the next thing she knew it, he was on top of her. Still smiling, but now the smile had a trace of ridicule. And at that moment she became afraid.

She tried to push him away but he was heavy and it was hard to focus her thoughts. She couldn't fully grasp what was happening but she was scared. She didn't want to be there anymore and she wanted to get away from this guy. He was scaring her. She tried to hit him but he just gripped her wrists and pressed them above her head, it hurt so she let out a whimper.

"Are you kidding me? You must have known that this would happen, if you follow a guy into room alone… I'm not gonna let you tease me."

She felt his hands moving up her skirt with clumsy hands were pulling down her panties. The smell of after shave mixed with sweat and something else, the unfamiliar smell of a person she didn't know. And it made her feel sick. Now she probably should do something, she was about to be raped, this guy wouldn't listen to her, he would force her, she realised. He was smirking at her, did he think this was amusing? That when she tried to resisted smiled even wider, as if he thought that her resistance was entertaining. And the name that came up in her mind, the only thing she could think about in her state of fear was Athrun. But he wouldn't come and save her, he had dumped her and he was probably with one of those other cuter girls right now. But even though she knew that he didn't care about her. She couldn't help but rely on him. Pathetically she wanted him to save her.

"…suran"

"Shut up and be still."

"Athrun."

"I said shut up, bitch."

"Athrun!"

I

He wasn't around her all the time, he went to fill his glass a few times, went to the bathroom, was harassed by girls, was harassed by Heine and Dearka a few times which actually was a kind of relief because it briefly took Cagalli off his mind and he could be irritated on something he was used to being irritated on.

He felt increasingly annoyed with himself that he couldn't get her off his mind, and he still couldn't understand why. She really wasn't anything special, she was just another girl. Sure she was cuter than most, but he had been with cuter girls than her. And if he wanted cute he just had to pay his fiancée a visit (though of course he couldn't sleep with her). So why, did he act this way? He was getting pathetic almost like a stalker.

But he knew that he wanted to resume the relationship they had before he had distanced himself again. He intended to wait for a favourable opportunity and then get her to follow him home without anyone noticed. It wasn't like he had come to the party with that intention but as the evening passed it became more and more obvious. Why shouldn't he? The sex with Cagalli was great, except for that last time but at that time he had been too angry to enjoy it. Normally it was great, even though she wasn't experienced, she simply turned him on.

But as Athrun was watching Cagalli during the evening he felt his irritation rising, rising for every new drink she took, rising for every guy who looked in her direction. The urge to just go up to her and knock some sense into her became increasingly hard to fight back. And his irritation level just seemed to explode when he noticed she started talking to a guy that even he didn't know. And if he didn't know there was little chance that Cagalli would know him. He noted how the guy hadn't walked up to her when Miriallia was there, making him suspicious. Yes he just wanted to grab her by the arm and drag her out of there, but he managed to keep his cool. As long as he was observing nothing would happen, and if something really did happen he could and would do something about it. But then a girl came up to him. He hadn't really forgotten her name, even if he didn't want to Athrun was very good at remembering things like names. But her name wasn't important, she was bothering him. She pulled him by the arm and talked to his ear, "Athrun… can't we go somewhere else?"

"Could you release my arm?" He replied coldly.

"I don't want to…" she said sulkily and started to try to drag him away.

"If you don't let go of my arm now, I'll make you." Athrun didn't bother to hide his irritation.

"Come on, don't be so cold… I'll do anything you want…"

"Why can't you get it through that thick skull of yours that I'm not interested to fuck you?"

The girl looked shocked at first but then offended, "Fine, it's not like you're all that anyway!" she screamed at him and it looked like she was going to throw her drink at him for a second. But in the end she didn't, probably afraid of the consequences that would follow. It was Athrun and he was known not to show any mercy even to girls.

Athrun just looked at her coldly, almost a little threateningly for a brief moment and then turned away to see what Cagalli was doing when he noticed she wasn't there anymore. That guy she had been talking to wasn't there either.

This was bad, this was seriously not good. He searched for her once more but she wasn't anywhere to be found.

He went from room to room, he heard someone call his name but he didn't care, he just continued. His was getting more and more desperate, now he ran, one of the bathroom doors had been locked and he had banged at it and he had been cursed at but he hadn't cared. He wasn't particularly drunk but the situation made it hard to think straight, his pulse was up extremely high. When he hadn't found her on the ground floor he realised his mistake, of course they wouldn't be downstairs where everyone else was. It was strictly forbidden to go upstairs, if you did you were thrown out of the party and never invited again. Of course they had to be upstairs where no one would discover them. He ran upstairs, looked through all the rooms there too until he came to the study.

He knew this house rather well, he had been here several times when the student council had meetings outside school. The first time he had been given a tour by Dearka and he still remembered everything. He tried the door, it wasn't locked, he opened it.

The surroundings suddenly disappeared, everything turned black. And then he could feel it like slow-motion, his veins were expanding, pumping, he could feel his blood rushing through his body up to his head. Pumping.

Far away was the noise from the music and the chattering voices downstairs. Now that was like a totally different world. His consciousness stopped working, all that he could se was Cagalli lying on the couch with that guy on top of her.

"Athrun!" her scream woke him up.

Suddenly she felt how the weight that was on her disappeared. Confused she looked up and it was hard to believe but it was the person she had called out for, Athrun that was standing there. He had grabbed the guy's collar from behind and pulled him away from her.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing?" the guy screamed angrily. But Athrun didn't answer, instead he head-butted him. You could hear bones crack. And blood spurted. His nose had probably been broken. But Athrun didn't stop there, it happened very fast so his opponent probably didn't have time to react, he threw him on the floor and continued to land punch after punch. It should hurt but he couldn't feel anything, he just continued to hit him.

Cagalli was scared, this was Athrun but she didn't recognise him. He looked like someone else, Athrun normally didn't show much emotion but now he looked almost crazy. She had never seen him this angry before, not even that last time when he had been jealous at Kira. She knew she had to stop him, so rushed to him and tried to drag him off now semi-unconscious guy, "Stop it Athrun, you're going to kill him!" She screamed. Athrun shook her off him and she fell to the floor and hit her head. Everything was in chaos. She was still very drunk, and it was hard to keep conscious. She felt how everything turned black in front of her eyes but somehow she managed to keep awake.

Athrun seemed to have cooled down bit a least and he had stopped hitting. He took the guy's wallet and stood up looked at the ID and looked at the guy on the floor with cold eyes and said, "I don't think I have to tell you this, but you better keep your mouth shut. Don't tell anybody or I will not only make you pay but your whole family. And don't think I can't, I know who you are, and I if I want to I can make your life a living hell." Athrun threw back the wallet at him and turned to Cagalli, "You, pull up your panties for God's sake."

Cagalli had been so shocked that she forgotten to pull them up, and now she lay there on the floor with her panties like that. A mixture of embarrassment and self-disgust came flowing, and at the same time she was released from the absolute fear she had been feeling. And she started crying, and she did as she was told and corrected her underwear. Athrun held out his hand to her and she took it and got up from the floor with his help.

He didn't release her hand instead the grip hardened and he said, "We're leaving this place now." And really there was nothing she rather would do, but tone in Athrun's voice made her nervous. It sounded very cold, but she knew it was a sign of anger. She didn't say anything, she didn't even dared to look at him she just followed him. She cast one last look at the guy on the floor, with relief she saw that he was slowly about to get up as they leaved the room.

She was still pretty out of it, but she caught that Athrun was calling for a taxi.

He took her to what turned out to be a wardrobe and told her to wait there and not open to anybody but him. She waited just like she was told, in what felt like the longest time but in reality couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes. Athrun came back with what were their jackets and shoes.

Athrun led her to what wasn't the main entrance, and they got out on what seemed to be the back of the house. They went out through the gate and Athrun led them to a parallel street were they stopped and waited for the taxi to arrive. Cagalli suddenly got the urge to throw up, but she didn't want to do it outside so she put a hand to her mouth and tried to stop it. Athrun saw what she was doing and simply said, "Don't fight it, it's better you do it here than in the taxi."

Being told that she stopped resisting the urge that was impossible to stop anyway and she crouched and let it all out, with Athrun still holding her hand. She felt disgusting, and it felt terrible that Athrun could see her in this condition. She didn't know what face he made because she couldn't look at him, not when she was like this. She spitted and wiped her mouth to get out as much of the vomit as possible. They stood there for a while in silence waiting for the taxi, it didn't take that long but it felt like forever.

In the taxi the silence continued and so did Cagalli's sobbing. Athrun was in a state of mind that he didn't notice that she was trembling, he was too filled with anger to think about how the experience must have been for Cagalli. He just looked out the window with blank eyes, watching the familiar scenery passing by.

When they came home to Athrun immediately dragged Cagalli up to his bedroom and threw her on the bed, and he started vent everything he had wanted to say to her, but couldn't because he didn't want to start a scene in public.

"What the fuck were you doing? How the hell could you be so fucking stupid?"

"Cagalli looked shocked or surprised by his sudden outburst and looked at him with red eyes and stuttered, "I- I didn't know."

"Firstly how could you drink so much, when you even get drunk after one beer?"

"…" Cagalli didn't know what to answer, she couldn't very well tell the truth, "I drank because I was jealous because of you." No way was she going to admit that.

"Don't you know what signals wearing that skirt and being that drunk send out? It's like begging for someone to take advantage of you! And then you follow some guy you don't even know into room where you were alone, so fucking stupid!"

She knew she had been stupid, but she hadn't known. It hadn't existed in her mind that he would do anything like that, he had been so nice. But solely blaming her, somehow made her feel anger rising with tears of anger and frustration welling up she shouted back, "So you're saying it's my fault? Just because I was drunk and I wore these clothes, does that mean that it's ok, that I had it coming?"

"It doesn't matter whose fault it was, that isn't the issue here. The fact is that you put yourself in that position, and that was so idiotic I don't even know how to begin to describe how stupid it was. What if I hadn't come and save you! Think about that!"

"Well sorry for being so stupid! I guess I would have been raped wouldn't I?"

Things seemed to erupt into a climax and Athrun didn't care to answer that comment. Frustration and anger were taking over again and he pushed back Cagalli and straddled her on the bed. He kissed her violently and forced his tongue into her mouth not caring about the faint taste of vomit. And this time Cagalli answered the kiss. The kissed each other violently and started to take off each other's clothes. It was as if those feelings were turned into plain lust. At this moment it felt like that emotion was much easer to deal with, it made everything that had happened and every worry disappear. They just acted on instinct, feeling each other.

I

When Athrun woke up the morning after, he had an unbelievable headache. His bruised knuckles were aching. He thought about what happened yesterday and he suddenly felt sick and rushed to the bathroom to throw up. After he panted and washed his mouth. He looked in the mirror, he looked worn and tired. No different from how he felt right now. Even if he tried not to think about what happened the thoughts came mercilessly. When he thought about how that fucking piece of shit had tried to rape Cagalli he felt how anger was boiling up again. He tightened his fists. But still, he felt scared. He didn't recognise himself, who was this person? Who had beaten up someone so badly? Who was he becoming? He felt he had never been so blindly furious before in his whole life.

Yes he was afraid of all the emotions that he felt concerning Cagalli, she had brought chaos into his life. But every time he tried to distance himself from her, something came that brought him back again. She was changing him, whether he liked it or not. He had become more irritated and moody, but at least he was feeling something, and of course there was lust. She aroused him. Maybe it was time to admit that somehow he needed Cagalli.

He took a shower and it helped him to calm down a little. When he came out of the bathroom, he looked a Cagalli, she was still sleeping peacefully and he didn't want to wake her up, she deserved her rest. He thought he would go and make breakfast but as he was about to leave the room he heard her sleepy voice call, "Athrun? Where are you going?" He looked at her, and she looked worried, she had make up from yesterday still on, making dark lines under her eyes.

"I'm going to make breakfast, take a shower first and then come down to the kitchen." He tried to smile at her. He didn't know if he succeeded, but Cagalli nodded and said "ok" in any case.

I

Something was strange, Cagalli who was sitting across the table smiling widely, it was that smile, that smile that made him jealous at others. A smile like the sun… perhaps. But it was strange, after what she been through, she shouldn't smile like that. She never had smile like that to him before.

It suddenly hit him as he looked at her smiling at that moment. There was something missing. And now that he thought about it he became certain it never had been there in the first place. Why hadn't he noticed it before? Now it seemed funny, because it now it was so obvious, it looked like the real thing but it wasn't, and her laughter sounded like the real thing but it wasn't. She was good at concealing it, but she couldn't hide it from him anymore. In reality her smile felt hollow. And now when he saw it, it only made him feel bad.

For the first time he felt something like guilt, how he had reacted yesterday was probably totally wrong. He had not once thought about how she was feeling when she must be feeling much worse than him. Instead he had yelled at her, when she probably had needed comfort instead. And then they had had sex… after she just had been subjected to that. She never had been so forward when they had sex as yesterday. He didn't know what that meant, but he wasn't sure it was a good sign. And the real question, just thinking about it made him feel sick, if she had resisted would he have stopped? And if he hadn't, what made him any different from that other guy? He shook the thought away, he didn't want to think about it. Instead he thought about Cagalli.

"Cagalli…" he didn't know what to say. Should he pretend not to notice? He didn't know why she was faking it but he guessed she did it for a reason and she didn't want him to expose her. But on the other hand, he was happy now that she hadn't smiled like that to him. Maybe she would show him her real face sometimes.

"You've made all this Athrun? It looks great! I'm really hungry." Cagalli said in a bright voice still smiling. But now that voice felt like stabs to his heart, because he heard that she was straining herself.

"Cagalli…" he said again looking at her worriedly.

"What?" she asked him, not understanding what he was aiming at.

He hesitated, honestly he couldn't stand to see her so cheerful when she really should be crying like she did last night when she thought he wouldn't notice.

He wanted to ask "Why are you smiling like that? Why do you force yourself to smile like that when you really look like you want to cry?" but in the end he didn't say anything more. Maybe out of cowardice. He was already in deep, should he risk falling deeper, into a place he didn't know? Probably Cagalli didn't want him to pry anyway. Perhaps it was the easier path, but there was no promise that confronting Cagalli would lead to anything good. In fact probably it wouldn't. Still he wanted to do something, something that would make them think about something else than yesterday.

"What do you say about today? Maybe we could go out and do something."

Before Cagalli had the time to answer, the phone rang. Athrun got up and answered,

"Hello?"

"Athrun? It's Heine." The voice at the other end said.

"Heine? Why do you call?" Athrun stiffened, the tone of Heine's voice made him worry.

"Serious trouble, Cagalli is gone!"

* * *

A lot of body fluids this time… How many times has Cagalli vomited in this fic? 

People get drunk in different ways, some get very clingy and want to hug you, others get extremely energetic and talkative, others it's hard to see that they are drunk they just smile a little sillier than usual (of course you notice when they open their mouths, nothing of value will come out), others get bitter and whines (one of the worst kinds), others get violent and tries to pick fights (The worst kind), other's fall asleep after two beers. There are many different types, my boyfriend is definitely the hugging type.

"Lalalu…"

"Yes."

"Lalalu…"

"Yes."

"Lalalu…"

"What is it?"

"I like you." (insert hug)

"I like you too." (sighs)

…

"Lalalu…"

"Yes."

"Lalalu…"

"…"

"Lalalu, I love you."

"…I love you too." (sighs)

This is the result of an imbalance of in the intoxication level, here my boyfriend obviously much drunker than me. Avoid if you can, drunks are tiresome. I'm the energetic type I think… I probably get pretty obnoxious too. Luckily, I very rarely get drunk nowadays.

They drink Bollinger like James Bond… But I happen to like Bollinger so I thought it would be ok.

I thought a little about what kind of drink that Athrun would drink, and I finally decided that single malt whisky would be suit him rather well. It's a manly drink, can be very expensive, and it has a kind sophisticated aura, something that a connoisseur would drink. In DESTINY he drinks red wine and I think that would be alright too but that is more something you have to a meal than as a drink (although when I was in high school I often drank red wine at parties. You had to take what you could get if you know what I mean.).


	10. The Storm is Comming

Hello, Lalalu here. It's been a while...

I just want to make one thing clear: Cagalli wasn't raped, you know Athrun saved her... It seems that there are many who have misread... Maybe I wasn't clear enough. Anyway now you know.

Thanks to everybody who has reviewed anonymously too, I really appreciate it.

* * *

Trying not to feel anything is so hard, just as the opposite is also true. Trying to find feelings you do not have is impossible.

That is the harsh reality.

**The Storm is Coming**

"Serious trouble, Cagalli's gone!" Heine said.

Athrun looked at Cagalli who was sitting in his kitchen eating breakfast and answered, "She's gone?"

"Yes, she was with Miri but Miri got into a fight with her ex and left the party. When Fllay went to look for her she couldn't find her. We've searched the whole house but she's definitely not here. Fllay is really worried, well we all are."

"Ok, she's gone, but why are you calling me?" Athrun said in an indifferent voice.

"Stop it, Athrun. I know you're not the greatest friends but this is serious. Don't you feel anything? She's been working with us half the term. Aren't you the least bit worried? I'm calling to ask if you have any ideas and if you can help us to search. You were there at the party, did you see anything?"

"…" Athrun didn't answer, or couldn't answer more accurately.

"Athrun?"

"…Alright, I get it. But first of all have you tried to call her?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course we have, Fllay has tried to call her constantly, but she's not answering. We're not that stupid."

"…" Athrun was thinking of how they were going to get out of this mess and eventually continued, "Ok, she doesn't answer her phone. Have you tried her house?"

"No, that's the problem, we don't actually know where she lives."

"…And you claim you're not stupid?" Athrun asked dryly but he was relieved, an unexpected opening had come his way.

"It can't be helped, can it? None of us have ever been to her house, and we tried to check up her address but her name wasn't there. Don't you think that's a little strange?"

It was a little strange. Come to think of it how much did he know about Cagalli? It was close to nothing, besides that she lived alone and that her mother too seemed to be no longer among the living.

"Well, then maybe there is an easy solution to the problem, I happen to know where she lives. The problem is how to get in, but maybe I can talk to the landlord…"

"Eh, you know where she lives?" Heine sounded very surprised.

"…Don't shout in my ear. Yes of course I know where she lives. Don't you think I'd check up on the whereabouts of someone who's doing work for the student council?"

"…Wow, Athrun, you're even better than I thought."

"It's only the obvious thing to do, what if I had work on my hands that I needed her to do? If I don't know how to contact her, I might get stuck doing the work myself."

"Wicked as always Athrun…"

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I'm sure you will" Heine shuckled a little.

"Anyway, I'll head over there right now. I'll call if anything happens, and make sure that you do too."

"Ok, I just hope that everything is alright."

"I'd say don't worry. Probably she got drunk yesterday and decided to go home and forgot to tell anyone."

"It has happened before."

"Yeah, anyway I'll call you when I get there."

"Ok, bye."

"Bye."

Athrun finally hung up and made a deep sigh, what a mess. Cagalli who had stopped eating looked at him questioningly and asked, "What was that about?"

"…Cagalli, I think you'd better check your phone. It seems that they are pretty worried 'cause that you left the party yesterday without telling anyone."

Cagalli paled and ran from the kitchen to the hall to pick up her purse and check her mobile. There were too many unanswered calls, most of them from Fllay. But she knew that under that tough surface Fllay was a person who worried a lot about other people if she cared about them, so in reality it wasn't something to be surprised about. Cagalli hesitated a little if she would dare to check her messages, Fllay would probably use quite harsh words.

Suddenly the phone rang and it was from Fllay, now she was even more nervous. Fllay would probably be pretty upset to notice she had been worried for nothing, relieved of course, but also angry. Certainly she had every right to be angry, but yesterday had been so crazy and Cagalli still hadn't recovered from the shock. Sure she tried to look normal to Athrun but honestly she still felt shook up even though she felt relieved that Athrun hadn't pushed her away. If he didn't think she was disgusting it felt a little easier to bear. She took a deep breath and was about to push the "yes"-button when Athrun who had followed her stopped her, "Wait, don't answer that." he said as he approached her.

"Why? I have to talk to Fllay and I might as well do it now."

"We have to think this through first. I said to Heine that I would go to your house and see if you are there right now, we can't let them suspect that you might be here."

"I don't wanna go home…" Cagalli looked at him pleadingly and for some reason it felt very hard for him go against her when she looked like that.

"…Don't worry, you don't have to. We'll solve this somehow." He said to calm her down, what was this feeling of wanting to protect her? But then again the person she most of all needed protection from was possibly he himself, he thought sarcastically.

"So how do we do this?" she asked and he slowly started to form a plan, he didn't know if it was any good but it would have to do since Cagalli didn't want to return home and well, he didn't feel like returning her either.

"I'm heading out, I think it's best that I at least pretend I'm going over to your flat."

"You're leaving? I don't want to be alone…" Cagalli almost looked like she was going to cry but even so there was no other way.

"It's only to pretend… Don't you think Heine will think it's strange if I'm not outside when he calls me?"

"Yes but still… I don't feel like being alone right now…"

Athrun sighed, "It can't be helped can it? If you don't want to this to end right now you'll have to stop being so selfish." He said somewhat cruelly, but it couldn't be helped, time was running out.

"If you put it like that I'll guess I'll have to…" Cagalli nodded weakly.

"Don't worry I'll be back as soon as I can. Besides, this is my house, I'll have to come back won't I?" He said more kindly and stroke her cheek a softly with his hand and kissed it.

This was the Athrun she had come to love so much, and it made her feel a lot better. Strengthened she nodded to him now with a serious look on her face. To Athrun that looked so cute that he had a great urge to hug her, but he knew that if he did he wouldn't know how to stop and there definitely wasn't time for that right now, but if everything went well when he came back…

"Good, when I've left call Fllay and explain what happened last night, that you got too drunk and took a taxi home and forgot to tell anyone. _"For you, it shouldn't be a problem, you've been lying to everyone from the beginning…"_ he felt like adding but didn't. It wouldn't serve any purpose and it wasn't his business.

"Anyway, it's what actually happened, you're just leaving out a few details…" He continued.

"A few details, hmph." Cagalli snorted sarcastically in way that was very unlike her, at least what he thought was unlike her with the newfound reality that he didn't knew her at all.

"Can I trust you with that?" He asked to be sure.

"Yes I'll call Fllay, don't worry I'll take care of her." Cagalli said and there was a hint of coolness in her voice.

"Good, I'll head off now. I expect that Heine will call when you've called Fllay, I'll try to deal with him somehow and then I'll come back here." Athrun said and placed another kiss on her cheek before he left.

She looked at her mobile and took a deep sigh and called Fllay, the faster this was done the better.

Just as predicted Fllay had been furious and it had been very hard to calm her down, and Cagalli felt very guilty when she had to lie to her especially because she could hear the angry voice mix with held back sobs of relief. Fllay wanted to come over and see her but somehow she managed to avoid that with a further lies that were coming naturally without hesitations from her mouth. It was such an easy thing to do, fool other people. But in her in her heart it was painful and it was much more difficult to chase that pain away, but when she was with Athrun even that went away.

She talked to Kira too, Fllay had called him too and he had been so worried that he seriously tried to go out searching for her even though he was down with the flu with 40 º C fever but luckily his mom had stopped him. Because Kira was so ill it was much easer to deal with him, he didn't have the energy to make any questions, he was just relieved that she was ok. Again it felt a little bad to be relieved when Kira's condition was so bad, but she eased that feeling by promising herself that she would go and see him when he was a little better.

After a short while Athrun came back, somehow they narrowly had escaped.

I

Really she didn't want to leave Athrun's house, all of a sudden she felt afraid of being outside among people, strangers she couldn't trust. But Athrun had dragged her out, somehow it must have been his way to comfort her, it was true he was clumsy when came to relate to other people but she still could notice his effort and inside it felt like something was warming up. She knew it would be a mistake to depend on him too much because she couldn't be sure how long his support would be there. But right now, it felt it would be impossible for her to leave his side.

As they walked along the pavement she held on to his arm tightly, when she looked at him he looked back at her with a kind smile. It was a new side of him, he had never smiled at her like that before and it almost felt like she fell in love anew.

During the winter break they were together like that the whole time, it was like they were making up for the time they had lost fighting the weeks before. During that time, she looked at him often, almost like studying him. The cold winter wind tousled that dark blue hair when he wasn't wearing his woollen cap, his rosy cheeks from the cold that made him look cute almost childish, his smile, his kind eyes, his teasing eyes, the faces he made out of pleasure when they made love. Coming so close to another person, was happiness. Eventually emotions grew so strong it felt she would explode if she didn't express them.

One night, when they lay in his bed as usual still panting and a little sweaty, she took courage and said what she knew she had to say. If you loved someone this much it was impossible not to say it, even if it would turn out her love wasn't returned it was something she just had to do. Trying not to love someone didn't work, not that she wanted anymore. She raised her head and looked down at him seriously, he noticed her gaze and looked back at her questioningly.

"Athrun, there is something that I have to say. You don't have to answer or anything, but I just have to say this… I- I love you." She said a little hurriedly and buried her face against his neck. It was warm and his hair tickled her a little, and more than anything she breathed in the smell of him. It was the sweetest smell, because it was a sign of him and she loved him more than anything. It didn't matter if he didn't love her, because it wouldn't change her feelings, she would love enough for both of them. But she still hoped for an answer and when it didn't come it felt like she felt like something cold grabbed her, for a short moment, but she shook it away. She had said that she didn't needed an answer and now she couldn't just take it back because she wasn't satisfied. What she wanted to give him was unconditional love, she knew that he needed it. Athrun needed love so she couldn't just take it away just because he didn't do what she wanted or hoped for. She hugged him tighter to reassure him that she didn't mind that she wouldn't go anywhere and perhaps a way of stopping him from going away from her, it was the only thing she could do right now.

I

The first day of the new term, and Cagalli walked through those school gates for the first time in two weeks. But as she walked down the corridor she got a weird feeling that people were looking at her but when she looked back they turned away.

When she entered the class room she felt how the attention of everyone in the class was directed at her, she tried to pretend like it was nothing and walked to her desk as usual.

"Cagalli, what is this?" Fllay said and looked at her suspiciously.

"What are you talking about?" Cagalli asked back as she sat down on her chair and started to pick up her notebook and pen.

"Here I come back from my ski vacation and what do I find? That there are rumours going around about you!"

"Rumours? About me?" Cagalli looked up surprised.

"Fllay take it easy, it's only a rumour. There's no way it can be true anyway." Miriallia said.

"I know it's only a rumour and I don't believe it's true either but Cagalli has the right to know hasn't she? It's about her."

"Yeah that's true…" Miriallia agreed.

"Come on tell me, what is it?" Cagalli was getting impatient.

"Well yeah, you see there is a rumour about you…"

"Yeah I heard that, what's it about?"

"Well if you let me finish I might be able to tell you!" Fllay answered a little irritated.

"Oh sorry, continue."

"Anyway people are saying that you're together with Athrun Zala!" Fllay continued in a loud whisper.

"It's only a rumour, you shouldn't let it get to you." Miriallia said trying to smooth over the shock when she saw Cagalli's expression.

Cagalli felt how something cold grabbed hold of her squeezing her chest making it hard to breathe. Panic came over her and her first instinct was flee from everything, to run from the classroom, from the school. From the looks she had gotten this morning she understood that the whole school must know by now. In fact she was probably one of the last to know. But if she let panic take control everything would be lost so she forced herself to calm down.

"W- why?" her voice shook a little, she hoped they wouldn't notice.

"Apparently someone claim they saw you walking hand in hand during the winter holidays."

"They did?" Cagalli asked a little too loud.

"Yeah, at least that's what they claim they did… Wait Cagalli… you're acting strange. Don't tell me there is any truth in it, 'cause there isn't is there?" Fllay said eyeing Cagalli suspiciously.

"Of course it isn't true, what do you think! I hate that guy and you know that, I was just thinking how much trouble this'll mean. I had enough problems with the Kira fan-girls and don't want to get into more trouble than I've already have."

"There will probably be trouble…" Miriallia said laying a hand on Cagalli's shoulder trying to comfort her, "But Fllay and I will always be behind you. If something happens tell us."

"Yeah, you can count on us, if there are any bitches harassing you I'll give them a piece of my mind you can be sure of that." Fllay smiled but a black aura surrounded her sinking the atmosphere in the room to freezing point.

Cagalli on the other hand felt her heart warm up and how tears almost started to fill her eyes by her friend's kindness, it was mixed with a feeling of guilt but she pressed that away. Right now she was just thankful.

"Thanks, it really means a lot to me."

"Ahem, can you please be quiet, the lesson has begun." The teacher reproached them. They apologised and quickly turn their faces to the front of the classroom. The first lesson of the new term began.

I

When Athrun came to school he was already prepared. The reason for that was a conversation he had had with Kira a few days before, Kira had called him and they had agreed to meet at a café they were often at. When he arrived Kira was already there, Athrun ordered a cup of coffee and seated himself. At first they talked about the usual stuff but after a while Athrun became aware that Kira seemed like he wanted to say something, something that apparently was hard to say. He looked at Kira but didn't ask what it was, he just waited absentmindedly thinking about what it could be. A few things came to mind and Cagalli was first on that list, it was a feeling he had that he couldn't shake free of. Of course that was the thing he feared the most and therefore he was very sensitive to anything concerning it. And eventually it came: Awkwardly Kira said that he had heard a rumour that he and Cagalli were sleeping together. Thankfully Athrun didn't loose his composure and not only managed to make Kira believe that there was no truth in such a story but also make him feel guilty about doubting Athrun. In other words it went well.

There still was the problem with the rumour going around but there was nothing he could do about it, and he figured the best thing to do was to deal with it like he did with all rumours: ignore it.

Why he hadn't said anything to Cagalli he didn't know. But he couldn't seem to find the right opportunity or maybe it was just an excuse. It wasn't something he wanted to talk about, it was more something he wanted to forget. He realised it wasn't very fair to her but it was too late to do anything about it now.

I

When school was over, he headed to the student council and there the atmosphere was, tense. He felt everybody's questioning eyes but he pretended not to notice and seated himself at his end of the table. It was unusually quiet. Usually Yzak would at yell something when Athrun came but now he didn't say anything but looked very uncomfortable. Even Heine and Dearka kept quiet, especially Dearka who looked like he had received his death sentence. To Athrun who hadn't met him since the party two weeks ago it looked strange, it couldn't have anything to do with Cagalli and him. Not that he cared that much but he asked anyway, at least it would break this uncomfortable silence, "What's with Dearka?"

"You don't know?" Heine asked in return.

"If I knew would I be asking?" Athrun replied.

"I didn't know you cared about these kinds of things." Heine said and Athrun was about to protest but Heine continued, "You missed the big event on Dearka's party, beside Cagalli-cutie's disappearance of course."

The mentioning of Cagalli seemed make the atmosphere in room even tenser for a moment until it was lifted a little by Athrun who urged Heine to continue without pretending to notice, "So, what happened?"

"You know I said that Miri had a fight with her ex when we talked on the phone?"

"I have a small recollection of that, yeah." Athrun nodded, it made sense, if Dearka was depressed about something odds were that it was about Miriallia.

"Anyway, Dearka here decided to interrupt them and thus became the object of Miss Haww's infernal wrath."

"So, how's that any different from every other time?" Athrun asked.

"You see this time, Dearka snapped and talked back. He said he wouldn't bother her anymore."

"Not a day too late…"

"Hmm, yeah but apparently our good friend has a change of heart and regrets the whole thing."

"I never thought I'd agree with Athrun but this time it wasn't a day too late. Dearka! Get over it and get on with your life! You've been like this for two weeks now and you're driving me crazy!" Yzak surprised everyone by joining the conversation.

"Be nice to Dearka, Yzak. He's going through a difficult time right now." Nicol tried to cover for Dearka who didn't seem to respond.

"I understand that too, but he's been moping too long! Mirialla has never accepted him so this couldn't be such a shock."

"Be a little more understanding…"

"Can we stop talking about me? Yeah, I'll be fine. Of course I'll get through this but right now just let me be depressed… If anything I don't want to be told to get over it by you guys who know absolutely nothing about how I feel right now. A player who never gets serious with anyone and a coward who couldn't even ask out the girl he liked without help. You've never been rejected so you can just shut the hell up. And what the hell, Athrun here doesn't care shit about anything, you even screw C-…"

"Ok, ok let's take it easy now alright? Dearka, even if you're frustrated let's not say unnecessary things." Heine interrupted Dearka, "Rumours are rumours and you should know better than to take them seriously, don't you agree? Athrun." He continued looking straight at Athrun.

Athrun wasn't about to loose his composure over something like this so he kept his cool face. "If you rather believe rumours than me, go ahead, I couldn't care less." He said in but in an icy voice which threatened anyone who might dare to bring the subject any further.

I

Of course Athrun avoided Cagalli at school, especially now when they were rumoured about. But when he noticed Cagalli in the corridors he quietly observed what she was doing, maybe glanced in her direction but most of all he listened. What she talked about and who she was talking to. Today she was joking around with the guys in her class, they were teasing her and she was talking back and apparently they didn't notice that he was there. "Ahh, I'm disappointed. I guess Cagalli is like all other girls in end." One of them said.

"Hey, you sound like you didn't see me as a girl before! Well excuse me for disappoint you: I am a girl!"

"Hahaha, that so like Cagalli. No one else would interpret it like that. Hehehe, you're too much."

"We're talking about Zala, you couldn't resist his charms: looking like a girl and treat you like shit. I don't know why, but for some reason chicks can't seem to get enough of that."

"Yeah, we thought you were different but I guess not. Maybe it's a hormone-thing, if you're female you can't resist Athrun Zala?"

"Shut up! You're just talking trash, who's said I'm with Athrun Zala? You guys gossip more than a group of old ladies. Let me make one thing clear: I'm not together with Zala. I can't stand him, to me he is just someone who forces me to do work for the student council. If you want to know what I think you're just jealous because you have no chance what so ever with me. In fact, I rather date Zala, at least he's not ugly." Cagalli said sounding just as amused as the guys.

"You're saying that girly Zala is better lookin' than me? If you'd give me a chance I'd show you what a real guy should be."

"The only place that would ever happen is you dreams, so you can just keep on dreaming."

"Ouch…" the made a face and the other guys laughed at him and he started laughing too.

"You're funny, Yura." He said when Fllay and Miriallia made their appearance.

"Hey, you boys aren't picking on Cagalli I hope." Fllay said smiling with a smile that wasn't a smile at all.

"We're just joking around, right?" he said looking a little nervously at Cagalli.

"It's all right Fllay, I can handle myself. They didn't mean any harm anyway." Cagalli said to calm Fllay down.

"If you say so… anyway let's go Cagalli, the lesson will begin any minute now." Fllay said suspiciously.

That conversation stuck in Athrun's mind all day, he didn't care the least about those guys badmouthing him: he was used to it and anyway he didn't care about their petty opinions. What bothered him was Cagalli, what was hard to stomach was her talking and laughing with other guys and on top of it all about that subject. It sounded like she was flirting. And somehow hearing her say that she wasn't together with him and that she couldn't stand him made it hurt a little inside. He knew that he was being unreasonable and that he was saying the same things to those annoying girls that wouldn't leave him alone. But still he felt betrayed, even though it was selfish. How great it would be if he could say to everyone that Cagalli was his, then he could just have walked up and interrupt that conversation and bring Cagalli with him away from those bastards. But that was impossible, if he did that his friendship with Kira would be over.

I

After the student council meeting Athrun had to go to the copying room and reached it he noticed that somebody was already there, Cagalli. Remembering the irritation he had felt all day he decided that it was time to make Cagalli take responsibility for it. Even though he knew it was risky and a stupid thing to do, he couldn't stop himself.

Cagalli had been asked by the coach to make copies of the schedule for the upcoming indoor matches this winter to the whole team. And therefore she was in the copying room, in school seven o'clock which irritated her greatly. Why hadn't the coach made these copies before, and why did she have to do it, is what she had wanted to ask but had thought the better of it, she didn't want any trouble.

Suddenly she felt two strong arms hugging her from behind squeezing… her breasts!

"Aaaah, what are you doing?"

"So you're not together with Athrun Zala, I hear." He said in a suggestive voice, totally ignoring Cagalli's question.

"Well it's true isn't it? …nn… Besides… we decided that we were… ah!... going to keep what we're doing a secret. Ah…can you stop doing that?"

"Why?"

"Why? For one thing this is the copying room in our school! Think a little more about time and place!"

"But that's no fun… If I did that I wouldn't get to see your cute reactions would I?"

"What am I, your pet?"

"Don't worry, I wouldn't do this to a pet…"

"Hentai."

"Only when it comes to you."

"_Only when it comes to you…"_ when Cagalli heard that she felt how her heart started beating faster, how she wished that was true. She wanted to believe it and she felt how her mood was lifted and she stopped resisting and turned around to kiss him.

I

Kira was looking for Athrun but when he stopped by the student council Athrun had already left. By the only who was left in the room, Yzak, he was informed in an irritated way that Athrun had gone to the copying room. So Kira went in that direction too hoping to find him, he thought he would ask if Athrun would want to hang out tonight. He had a feeling that it was a long time since he and Athrun really did something together. The last time they met was more like an interrogation, and he felt guilty that in the first time he called Athrun in weeks was ask something like that.

If it was a mistake or not, is left to say but certainly everything changed. Possibly it was out of necessity, probably it would have happened in some other way if it didn't happen then, but he realised that Athrun had lied to him.

Kira staggered away, he felt nauseous. He couldn't think he just wanted to get out of there. He didn't know what was worse, the betrayal or the fact that Athrun and Cagalli had an affair. He grabbed his things from his locker and walked to the main entrance, there someone he knew or more accurate knew of, stood.

"Lacus… Lacus Clyne?" Kira could hardly believe his eyes. Why was Lacus Clyne here in this school?

The long pink haired girl looked at him smiling and her smile widened when she recognised who he was, "You must be Kira Yamato, Athrun's friend?" Athrun, the name he least of all wanted to hear right now.

"Yeah…" Kira answered suddenly feeling extremely tired.

"Are you quite alright? You don't look very well." Lacus said now looking at him with concern.

"Yes, I'm fine, it's just that I'm a little tired. I'm on my way home so…" Kira tried to end the conversation, he didn't have the energy for this right now. Too much was on his mind.

"Then I won't bother you any longer and get right to the point. I wonder if you would know where Athrun might be? I haven't announced that I was coming but I thought it would be a nice opportunity to see him when I'm here anyway."

"Sorry, I haven't seen him." Kira immediately said.

"I see, that's too bad. It's been very long since we met. It cannot be helped I guess… Well then, I thank you for your trouble, I'm terribly sorry to have inconvenienced you." Lacus Clyne said and smiled sweetly at him.

"Oh. Eh, me too, sorry for not being of any help." Kira, felt a little guilty but also confused by the presence of her, this idol, Lacus Clyne.

"Not at all, you have been very helpful I hope I will see you again soon, Mr. Yamato."

"Good bye Miss Clyne." Kira excused himself and hurriedly left the school.

When he came home he ran upstairs immediately and threw himself on his bed. He desperately tried to think on what to do now. What was it that he really wanted? Right now more than being angry at Athrun (even though he was furious) he felt frustrated, he felt like the chance he might have had with Cagalli was slipping out of his hands. Suddenly he got off from his bed and with determent fingers he grabbed his mobile and called Cagalli.

"Hello?" He heard Cagalli's voice at the other end.

"Cagalli? It's Kira." He tried to keep his voice from tremble.

"Kira? What's up?"

"I'll get straight to the point, I wonder if you could come by my house?"

"…what now?"

"Yes, now." He said in a serious tone.

"…I don't know, I'm kind of busy right now…." Cagalli answered hesitantly.

"It's really important that you come." Kira pressed on.

"…I get it, I'll come in an hour."

"Great, see you in an hour."

"Bye."

Cagalli hung up. Kira threw himself at the bed again and looked absentmindedly at the ceiling. She was probably with Athrun right now, who knew what they were doing. The picture of them making out remained tormenting him, and from his perspective it looked like there were pretty used to it. Kira bit his tongue in frustration. It was all Athrun's fault! He was definitely fooling Cagalli. He felt angry at himself too that he had been so slow. He should have made a move much sooner, then he could have protect her from Athrun and everyone else.

He lay there thinking about everything that had happened, time passed and when he heard the door bell he ran down the stairs as fast as he could.

"I'll get it!" he shouted to his mom and opened the door. There was Cagalli, she looked cute like she always did, innocent. Looking at her now made him even more stressed, he had to do something.

"Hi, Kira." Cagalli smiled at him but she looked at him a little questioningly, which wasn't strange of course. He had never called her like this before.

He caught his breath and answered, "Hi Cagalli thanks for coming on such short notice."

"Of course, I'll come, if you ask me. But what is it that's so important?"

"I'd rather not stand here talking, can we go up to my room?"

"Yeah, of course." Cagalli took off her shoes and jacket and followed Kira up to his room, of course not without saying hello to Kira's mom. But Kira seemed to be impatient so that went quickly.

In Kira's room Cagalli sat down on a chair and asked again, "Now you'll have to tell me, what's so important that it couldn't wait 'til tomorrow."

Kira sat down too but soon got up again and started to walk nervously back and forth.

Suddenly he seemed to have made up his mind and he stopped and looked at her seriously and opened his mouth and asked her, "What I want to know is what's going on between you and Athrun."

Cagalli froze for an instant but slowly opened her mouth, "There's nothing going on with Zala."

"Don't lie, it's not about some rumour, I saw you!" Kira started to raise his voice.

Cagalli paled but managed to stutter, "Y- you saw us?"

"Yeah, that's right! I saw you two making out in school!"

Cagalli almost sighed, as if she was giving up. "Kira… I didn't mean to keep it secret from you…"

"So it's true, you're together with Athrun?"

"…well, I don't know if we're exactly together."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"…it's not so easily defined I think…" Cagalli tried to find the right words, she was confused on her relation with Athrun herself so how could she explain to somebody else?

"That's bullshit! You know I blame myself, I should have warned you. And I should have been clearer with my own feelings."

"Kira?" Cagalli looked at him surprised, she didn't understand what he was talking about and he started to feel a little scary. He was like a different person, usually Kira was so calm and nice. She had a feeling that she didn't want to hear the continuing of his words.

"I want you to stop seeing Athrun."

"Wha-!" The situation started to feel more and more surreal to Cagalli, what was this?

"Even though Athrun may be good as a friend, or at least that what I thought, he is a player. He never gets serious with anyone, if you stay with him you'll only get hurt. I don't want you to be hurt."

"I don't see how you got any right to tell me what to do or not, what ever happens between Athrun and me is our business." Cagalli was getting really irritated.

"Cagalli! Why don't you listen to me, he'll hurt you!"

"What about you! You're supposed to be Athrun's friend but you talk about him like this behind his back!"

"I thought we were friends but apparently that only meant something to me."

"That's just not true, I don't know what he's said to you, but I know you're really important to him, I'm sure of it!"

"He's a liar, Cagalli, and that's the truth. You can't trust a liar."

"I thought you'd understand, since you're his friend! But you are just like everybody else!"

"You're blind Cagalli, you refuse to see the truth. Why did you keep it a secret? That was Athrun's idea wasn't it?" Kira stopped and look at her waiting for an answer.

"…" Cagalli on the other hand couldn't answer, there were so many reasons. It was true that it Athrun's idea to keep their relation a secret but until recently she too had thought it was a good idea, until recently that is.

Kira took the silence as a "yes" and continued, "What make you believe Athrun so much? What has he ever done for you? Do you really believe he loves you? Has he ever said that he loves you?"

"…" Again Cagalli couldn't answer, Athrun had never said that he loved her, she really had wanted for him to say those three words but he never had, not even when she had. But what he had done for her? There was a different meaning to why it was hard to answer that, simply there was too much. Now, it was hard to think what she would have done without him.

"The truth he doesn't love you, Cagalli. He's just playing you, I've seen it before."

"Shut up!"

"You're just denying it Cagalli…" suddenly he sounded kind like the ordinary Kira again, but Cagalli looked away. She couldn't accept the meaning of his words, a mild tone of voice couldn't change that. When she didn't answer, he didn't say anything and the room became silent. Cagalli started thinking about getting out of there, going to Athrun to get confirmation, to learn from him that what Kira said wasn't true at all. She knew that Athrun would never put those things into words, but there were other things that mattered. Things that were hard to point out but they were still there. They were real, and it didn't matter what anybody else said, not Kira, not anyone else.

"I'm out of here, as far as I'm concerned this conversation is over. I don't want to talk about this ever again. I respect your opinion as a friend, I really do, but this is none of your business. See you." Cagalli said and was about to leave when Kira grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"Kira?" Cagalli became uneasy because of Kira's sudden movement. Kira had behaved strange the whole time she had been here and since that party and the thing that happened there she was generally a lot more on alert than before.

"Cagalli, I…" Kira was trying to find the right words, how should he put this to get his feelings through?

Cagalli had a feeling she didn't want to hear what he had to say so she tried to pull her hand out but Kira put more force into his grip and she couldn't get away.

"Let me go right now!" Cagalli really started freaking out.

"Listen to me first: I love you. Leave Athrun and be with me instead…"

"I don't want to hear this, I don't want to hear this! Let me go!" this was the worst scenario, she could never see Kira as anything other than a friend and as that she really treasured him. But this threatened to ruin all that, she had to get out of there.

"Cagalli!" Kira suddenly grabbed her shoulders and kissed her. She was shocked, for a period which felt like forever she couldn't move. When he slowly removed his lips from hers she became able to think properly.

Smack! She slapped him in the face, with tears running down her cheeks she screamed, "I can't believe you! So low! Don't touch me ever again!" She ran down the stairs and quickly grabbed her jacket and ran out the house, to Athrun.

Left in the room was Kira alone, regretting what he just had done. He had pressured her, he had even kissed her without her permission. He had been too stressed. But even if he regretted that he was still furious. Everything was Athrun's fault. Athrun had lied to him, if he hadn't everything would have continued as normal. And Cagalli totally sided with Athrun, who knows with what lies he had fooled her with.

Full of those feelings Kira ignored his mom's knocks on the door to his room and went to bed trying to sleep. He didn't call Athrun because he figured that Cagalli might be there but tomorrow he would seek him up and say what he had on his mind. Athrun…


	11. So this is Goodbye

Many thanks to all of you who have reviewed anonymously, since I can't thank you personally.

* * *

**  
So this is Goodbye**

The day after, in the classroom, she avoided Kira. Honestly she didn't know how to approach him, after she had cooled down she began to regret how she had reacted. She must have hurt him. Kira had said that he loved her and she hadn't even listened to him or given him a proper answer. Kira had said some hurtful things, but if he really loved her, it wouldn't be strange if he was shocked when he found out that she was already dating his best friend.

She had a bad feeling about this, she had to talk to Kira properly and Athrun too or else their friendship might be irreparably damaged. She wanted them all to get along and she knew that Kira was Athrun's only friend, if they got on bad terms Athrun would have no one left.

When it was time for lunch, Kira left the classroom without saying a word to anyone. But Cagalli saw what he was doing, carefully not to be noticed she followed him. He was moving towards the roof, when she came to think of it, didn't Athrun and he use to eat lunch there? But now it was the middle of the winter, what was he up to?

Carefully she opened the door slightly, she heard voices, Kira's and another voice she knew very well. She shivered slightly from the icy air that came seeping in from the opening, the sky was ice blue, and everything was covered with snow which glittered in the sun. She took a step, carefully so that it the snow wouldn't crunch when she put down her foot.

I

Athrun had never seen Kira like this, the normal calm and mild tempered Kira was hard to imagine right now. He looked like he would catch fire any second.

"I can't believe you Athrun! So you have been sleeping with Cagalli all along!"

"…" Athrun didn't answer but hung his head and looked at the ground.

Kira taking that as a 'yes' answered with exploding further, "How could you! How could you do it? I thought we were friends!"

"As far as I'm concerned we still are…"

"Well, friends don't lie to each other!"

"Oh, come on Kira. So you're saying that you haven't been lying to me? About Cagalli, about a lot of stuff."

"Don't try to turn this on me, Athrun! I specifically said not to go after Cagalli! And you said you wouldn't, that you weren't interested in girls like that!"

"…You said you weren't interested in Cagalli, but that was a lie wasn't it?"

"…that has nothing to do with this! Cagalli is my friend and I didn't want you to treat her like you treat all other girls. I don't like that you're playing around and that you only use girls and then throw them away. But still I was your friend. But when I for once asked you the favour not go after Cagalli. You couldn't do me that one favour could you! Instead you lied to me and went behind my back! Do you know what that feels like!"

"…they're using me as well."

"Huh?"

"It's not like I'm some monster that go after innocent girls just to hurt them. They're coming on to me, and most know exactly what they're doing. They're just sleeping with me, and they don't look for anything else. They don't want to get to know me."

"Well poor little Athrun, everybody is just using him. He is not to blame, he's just a victim."

"I'm not saying that! I don't consider myself a victim. I know exactly what I do when I sleep with them, but I'm also saying that they're just the same."

"That may be so, but, Cagalli isn't like that. You must have fooled her!"

"I didn't fool her, I didn't pretend to want anything more than I did."

"You're lying you bastard!" Kira screamed and grabbed Athrun's collar and pushed him against the wall. Their upset harsh breaths were making fickle white clouds in the cold air and now both of them looked straight at each other.

"I'm not lying. Why don't you ask Cagalli?" He didn't know why he provoked Kira like this, but undeniably mixed with the guilt of having lied to Kira he felt irritation. Kira acted like he owned Cagalli or something, maybe Kira was in love with Cagalli. But Cagalli was his, Cagalli loved him not Kira.

"You son-of-a-bitch!" Kira screamed and hit Athrun right in the face. Athrun could see the punch coming but didn't do anything to avoid it. When it hit he felt a little better. Physically it hurt like hell of course but in the state he was in right now he couldn't care less. He wiped off the blood that was trickling from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and looked at Kira smiling. That didn't exactly have a calming effect on Kira who grabbed his collar with both hands again.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

"Screw you!" he screamed and banged him into the wall, "So you're saying that you've been sleeping with Cagalli all this time and she's been aware that you're a player?"

"Yes." Athrun said smiling, he didn't know why he was smiling because he was certainly not amused. Maybe he had finally lost it.

"You're really the worst Athrun, you bloody bastard. By the way I met your fiancée the other day, remember her Athrun? Lacus Clyne, do you remember her? You're still engaged to her and you're sleeping around. Do you know I had to lie to her for your sake?"

"That was totally unnecessary, no one asked you to."

Kira looked totally amazed, "Who are you? I don't know you. Are you really Athrun?"

"I've always been like this. Maybe you weren't interested enough to see. What I really am."

"…Well now I know. "

"Now you know." Athrun repeated coldly.

Kira took a deep breath to calm down and asked looking straight in Athrun's eyes, "Just answer this: Have you only been playing with Cagalli?"

"…Yes, it's true. It has been fun though, do you want to know? How Cagalli is in bed, how she screams…" Athrun sniggered.

Kira was just about to hit Athrun again when they heard a sound and when they saw what it was both of them felt as if their blood would freeze, there was Cagalli staggering, her face was blue and she looked like she would throw up any second.

For a moment no one said anything, Cagalli looked straight at Athrun and he looked back at her. At that point time stopped, they just looked at each other. Then time suddenly started to move again, and Cagalli turned around and started running, running as fast as she could through the door and down the stairs, picking out her mobile calling that number.

Athrun and Kira stayed like that for a moment but soon Kira woke up from his shock and released Athrun by pushing him as hard as he could into the wall and then he started to run after Cagalli, "Cagalli! Wait!"

Athrun on the other hand could just watch as Cagalli disappeared, in his mouth the taste of iron, he could even feel the smell of it and it made him want to vomit. But he didn't move from that spot. He had a feeling, a feeling it was the last time he would see Cagalli.

Who would have known it would turn out to be true.

Kira had lost sight of Cagalli, he run through the school but he couldn't see her anywhere. He asked people but nobody seemed to have seen her. So he figured she maybe wasn't inside the school anymore, so he ran outside. Faraway by the school gates he could see blonde hair,

"Cagalli!" he screamed and started to run as fast as he could, "Cagalli!"

She seemed to notice that someone was screaming at her because she turned his way but immediately turned away again.

"Cagalli, wait!"

A black limousine drove up in front of her and she opened the door and before she seated her self in the car she looked back at him but right after she took her seat and closed the door and the car started moving.

"Cagalli! Don't go!" he screamed but the car kept moving and about the time he had come out of the school gates it was gone.

I

After that day Cagalli didn't return to school. Athrun didn't bother to go to her flat, he knew that she wouldn't be there. She wouldn't come back again.

After a while life continued as if Cagalli never had been there, and Athrun went back to his old ways. No, in fact it was worse than before, furiously he went from girl to girl. Almost every night he brought someone home.

On top of everything his fiancée Lacus Clyne had decided to enter their school, that woman, what was she planning by coming here? Was she going to spy on him? Somehow he got the feeling that was not the case but if not what was it? He couldn't stand that woman and her blue piercing eyes that looked like she knew everything about him and what he did.

He was sure that she knew that he was sleeping around with other girls but she never mentioned it directly she just looked at him reproachfully and sometimes made comments that seemed innocent but was directed at him and felt like tiny pinpricks. He always ignored her and treated her with the civility he had been raised to treat ladies (something he usually ignored but she was his fiancée so he couldn't treat her just like anyone) albeit very reserved.

He was sure that she wasn't very pleased with being engaged to him but he was just the same. When he thought about being married to her he felt nauseous but there was nothing he could do, it was his father's decision, the person that Athrun never could measure up to, the person he never could go against. In that way they were similar: both were trapped in an engagement decided by their parents with a partner they had nothing in common with and if not hated, certainly didn't like.

So he tried to avoid Lacus as much as he could and it went very well because Lacus on her side didn't make any attempts to approach him, the only contact they had was when they greeted as they passed each other in the corridors.

I

Fllay had been very upset about the fact that Cagalli had disappeared and she confronted Athrun demanding that he would tell her what had happened, because it was clear now that Athrun and Cagalli had had something going on between them and that Cagalli now was gone.

It wasn't hard to come to the conclusion it was Athrun's fault that Cagalli had left and if Fllay had disliked Athrun before she loathed him now. She tried every trick she could come up with to make him talk but Athrun kept quiet, he just answered that he had nothing to say and ignored her after that.

The thing was that it wasn't easy to threaten Athrun Zala, when it came to social standing, wealth, popularity (though of course many hated him), there was no one who could beet him. Not even Fllay who had a solid background herself could come near him. And more than anything Athrun himself had a thick shell that was near impossible to penetrate. There were only two people who had been close to doing that, Kira and of course Cagalli, but even they hadn't come through completely, he somewhere kept the distance even to them.

The school actually was divided into to sides; the ones who thought Cagalli was solely to blame and the ones who thought that it was Athrun who had chased Cagalli away from the school. Athrun could actually feel an increasing number of people glaring at him in the corridors but he didn't mind them at all, he thought that the ones who were cheering him on were much harder to bear. He despised them and he had to control himself not to do anything stupid. They were ignorant and stupid, they didn't know anything about him and certainly nothing about Cagalli either.

He longed for the day that the whole thing would settle down and it would be forgotten making way for newer more interesting scandals. And eventually that time came of course, people got tired of it and focused their interest on other things. The only one's who still thought about Cagalli was her friends: Fllay and Miriallia, the student council, Kira… And of course Athrun though he did everything he could to forget.

I

The new addition to the school, the famous singer Lacus Clyne was placed in the same class as Cagalli had been in and she was seated at Cagalli's old seat. That was another thing that Fllay had a hard time to accept, from the beginning she showed that she had no intention what so ever to accept Lacus and openly showed her dislike.

At the first day Lacus had tried greet her but Fllay had just looked at her with contempt and turned away. Lacus had looked surprised and hurt and Miriallia who also had been surprised smiled apologetically and tried to cover for Fllay's bad behaviour when Fllay stopped her,

"Don't apologise for me, Miri. You know," Fllay turned to Lacus and said, "I'm going to be totally honest, I don't like you. I'm not going to pretend I like you and I have no intention to have anything to do with you. I don't care if you're the idol Lacus Clyne, if you know what's best for you, back off!"

"Fllay!" Miriallia reproached her but Lacus smiled and said, "It's quite alright Miss Haww, I don't mind. Don't worry Miss Allster, I can assure you I will not bother you since it seem so important to you."

"Hmph" Fllay snorted and turned away again.

"Honestly, I don't know why she's like this." Miriallia said to Lacus, "Anyway, please call me Miri, Miss Haww sounds so stiff you know."

"Really! Well then, Miri, I hope we can get along well although I would certainly be very happy if I could somehow change Miss Allster's opinion of me." Lacus said looking happier.

"That won't ever happen!" Fllay contradicted her.

"Hohoho, I will take the liberty of not giving up though." Lacus chuckled a little.

"See if I care."

Later Miriallia repeatedly tried talking to Fllay, the reason was that Miriallia liked Lacus and got along well with her. She couldn't replace Cagalli but Miriallia had never been as attached to her like Fllay. But Fllay wasn't persuaded, she didn't like Lacus,

"I don't care what you say, and it's not just because she came right after Cagalli. I don't trust her, I can't believe that she's so sweet and innocent as she wants people to think. And she's that jerk's fiancée, who knows, she might have something to do with Cagalli quitting school."

"You have no foundation what so ever for that." Miriallia contradicted her.

"Think about it, Cagalli and Zala were having this thing that might have been more serious that his usual conquests, who knows? And Lacus Clyne enters, she's worried she might loose her fiancée, an arrangement that is very profitable for her and her family. She forces Cagalli to move and she herself comes to this school to be able to check up on him. You must admit it's pretty suspicious that Lacus Clyne comes to our class right after Cagalli has quit." Fllay continued.

"It might just as well be a coincidence. And frankly what do we know about Cagalli? Nothing. She obviously lied to us about Zala, and then she suddenly moves away without saying a word to us. I don't know about you, but I can't help feeling a little betrayed."

"Looking at the consequences I can understand she hid it. You're not about to blame Cagalli are you?"

"I'm not blaming anyone, but Cagalli can't be without responsibility in this. You still haven't convinced me that Lacus is involved in any way. If you doubt her so much why don't ask her?"

"Like she would admit it if it was true, she isn't stupid that's for sure."

"Anyway it doesn't seem like she's here to watch over Zala, like he's sleeping around."

"…true, if I was in her position even if I didn't like my fiancée I would still care what he did. Because he if sleeps around it would reflect badly on me. But now that you mention it, it seems like she's more interested in Kira."

"Is Lacus interested in Kira?"

"I can't say for sure of course but she's always at his desk and follows him around everywhere."

"This might turn out to be interesting…" Miriallia's curiosity was teased.

"I don't care if she gets her hands on him or not, I'm over him since long ago. But I think it'll be difficult, even if Cagalli was honest when she said she thought of Kira as a friend I'm not sure Kira looked at it that way."

"True… but all the more interesting, don't you think?"

"If I cared it might be, but as far as I'm concerned those two deserve each other."

"I think I will have to agree with you on that one but for a totally different reason of course." Miriallia smiled a little mischievously.

"By the way Miri, I'm a little relieved. You've looked kind of depressed lately, but you're looking a little better." Fllay looked closely at Miriallia.

"Depressed? What you're talking about?"

"Miri… how about becoming a little more honest ? You know you like him."

"You're saying I'm not honest? That's pretty rude of you Fllay." Miriallia looked at her sharply.

"So why is it that when he doesn't come around anymore you're looking lonely?"

"…" Miriallia couldn't find an answer.

"You know, you're the one who has to take the first step now, Dearka won't approach you anymore. Not after being told that. I think he has definitely given up this time."

"I know that!"

"So you do admit that you like him?" Fllay raised a brow.

"…I don't know. All I know is that I somehow, kind of gotten used to him being around."

"And now that he isn't, you feel like something is missing?"

"Exactly, I was so busy being annoyed at him I didn't notice he was kind of fun to be with too."

"You know what you have to do, right?"

"I know, but it feels so frustrating. Somehow I don't want to see that overconfident smile of his either, it irritates me to no end.

"You have to swallow your pride and just go for it. You know he might have moved on now, maybe he isn't interested anymore, you did say some nasty things." Fllay said and tried to keep her countenance, she was convinced that Dearka hadn't moved on but there was no reason to say that to Miriallia. Miriallia needed to start moving and maybe this was the push that would make her do so.

"Yeah, I know." Miriallia smiled a little sadly.

"Don't worry, if you just apologise I'm sure things will turn out fine." Fllay smiled at Miriallia.

I

In the student council room, after the meeting and after Athrun had left, Heine, Dearka, Yzak and Nicol were remaining. Heine, who looked kind of troubled, raised his voice, "What do you think about Athrun?"

"What do you mean, what we think about Athrun? I thought it was pretty obvious by now that I don't like him!" Yzak said in his usual loud voice.

"Yes, yes we all know that Yzak but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about Athrun's behaviour recently, don't you think it's getting worse?"

"Now that you mention it…" Nicol said thoughtfully.

"So what if it is? Why the hell should we care!" Yzak said angrily.

"Come on Yzak, everyone has their reasons for being the way they are. And I'm absolutely sure Athrun really isn't the villain he seems to want everybody to believe he is."

"Oh, come on. Are you saying it's all an act?" Yzak snorted.

"I have a feeling Athrun even believes it himself."

"This is just semantics, the truth he acts like the biggest jerk alive and you say he himself thinks he is. Isn't that what being a jerk is?" Yzak crossed his arms and looked questioningly at Heine.

"Ah, but that is the heart of the matter, you see, Athrun doesn't think he's any good. A real jerk doesn't think of himself as a jerk."

"I'm not quite sure I'm following. But first of all, how can you be so sure that Athrun thinks like that?"

"I can't be totally sure of course but I'm willing to bet Athrun doesn't like himself. And if there is self awareness, it's possible to improve."

"I agree with Heine, I don't believe Athrun is really bad." Nicol said.

"Thank you Nicol, I knew you would see it my way." Heine looked happy.

"Hmpf!" Yzak just snorted at them.

"When Cagalli came to this school, it seemed like they were on really bad terms. But, I don't know if I'm the only one who noticed this, Athrun started changing, he began to loosen up a little and become a little less stiff. And now when she is gone, he's running amuck, worse than ever. I don't know what happened between them, but it's clear that Cagalli had a positive effect on Athrun."

"That is not to say it had a positive effect on Cagalli."

"You don't know that."

"It's obvious she left school."

"There might be another reason for that."

"What other reason could it be! You know how Athrun treats women!" Yzak argued.

"You haven't been listening have you? What I'm saying is that Cagalli is special to him."

"I kind of understand how he's feeling, but probably it's his own fault that things ended up this way." Dearka said.

"That isn't much comfort is it? Probably it only makes it feel worse."

"What goes around comes around."

"Like with you, you mean?" Heine asked sharply.

"…" Dearka didn't answer.

"I'm thinking that something must have happened between Athrun, Cagalli and Yamato, because after Cagalli disappeared Athrun and Yamato stopped talking to each other."

"How do you know that?"

"I have my sources. I've tried to talk to Yamato about it but he won't say anything. And I'm too afraid to ask anymore, frankly he can be quite scary." Heine seemed to shudder just at the thought of it.

"Tell again me why we are having this conversation?" Yzak asked.

"Because I want to help Athrun of course."

"Ok…"

"The problem is I don't seem to reach him. I try to cheer him up with hugs every morning but he only tries to avoid me. But that icy glare he gives me is so cute! Why, why doesn't it work!" Heine said and sniffled a little and dried a tear.

"Of course he tries to avoid you! If he wouldn't I would seriously questioning his sanity!" Yzak's face became deep red with indignation.

"As I thought, what we need is a woman's touch. If only Cagalli-cutie was here…" Heine pondered knitting his brows.

"But she isn't is she." Dearka pointed out acidly.

"Yeah, that's the problem… Please come back Cagalli-cutie!" Heine screamed out, the others just looked at him and sighed. Who knew when he was serious and when he just was making fun of them?

I

Who was Cagalli? Had he ever seen the real person? Had she ever showed him the real person? He had a feeling she had, fleeting moments when she was bare but he hadn't notice it then. Now thinking back he understood that it must've been the real Cagalli. She had shown him that, which she hadn't shown anyone else but he hadn't noticed. He had had the opportunity to make things right. But he did what was wrong.

I

I started notice things about you, I didn't want to but I couldn't help it, we were spending so much time together. How you were crying in your sleep for example. I didn't think it at first but we were similar you and I. You weren't honest, the happy exterior you showed to everyone was just a shell. Like a remaining fossil from a different time and a different you. Unexpectedly you turned out to be a skilful liar, perhaps better than me. I too was fooled from the beginning but nobody look at you as closely as I do so eventually I started to notice. I noticed that the thing that attracted me from the beginning really wasn't there but that didn't make me think differently about you. I guess we were clinging on to each other.

For as long as I can remember I never really liked myself, and I despised people who looked up to me. I even lied to my only friend. I lied to you. Now both of you are gone, I know Kira won't talk to me, and you, I don't know where you are.

It is true that you were only a game to me in the beginning, I was bored and I found you amusing, you were so full of resistance I thought it would be fun to make you crawl on your knees. Unlike me you seemed so full of life and I wanted to suck that out of you.

When I finally got my hands on you, that is were the calculations slipped perhaps, I started to desire you. I wanted you, you made me so excited I didn't know what to do. And that is where the jealousy began, I had never experienced it before and I did not know what to do with it, and I probably hurt you pretty badly in my confusion. I didn't even say I was sorry because I was so arrogant I didn't think I needed to. But you forgave me, every time. Maybe you saw it as a sign of affection, proof I loved you. But you were wrong, it wasn't love. It was only confusion and arrogance. I am sorry. I know I'm pathetic not being able to say it until now, when you are gone, now when it's too late.

Cagalli, when I think about you, it becomes clear to me that you and I aren't meant to be together. When I think about your smile, and about your tears, I realise they are wasted on me. I wasn't meant to be happy from the beginning, and more than anything I don't deserve it. That's why I realise that you can never have happiness with me, something I honestly from the core of my being want you to have.

You said you didn't need an answer and in the end I didn't give you one. When you told me you loved me it felt like I heard it for the first time and in a way it was, nobody had ever said that and truly meant it before. I felt a faint taste of happiness for the first time in my life and it made me afraid, I feared the pain of loosing it and the end that inevitably would come. For a brief moment, I told myself that maybe it work anyway but of course I was only fooling myself. And ironically the one who destroyed it was none other than me.

I wanted to say "I love you", I wanted to be able to show you it, I wanted to be able to comfort you when you where down, I wanted to be able to receive comfort from you when I was down, but I couldn't. People don't change so easily I suppose.

But I think you have a chance now that you are without me, you are far better off without me. I really wish you happiness, they are not just empty words I think. I'm sorry I hurt you.

Maybe this is what love really is? To be able to let go, if you know that it is the best for that person? Because honestly I didn't want to.

You gave me so much and I never gave anything back, so this is my first and final gift to you.

I love you

and goodbye.

You will never know it

but without you I will be lonely.

* * *

The next chapter will probably be the last, until then… 


	12. When You Are Beside Me

**When You Are Beside Me**

Athrun, you're the loneliest person I've met but still I left you. You, who had no one.

I thought I was alone, but I've realized I've had people around me all along, I just didn't accept them. But now I know and I know there is another place than loneliness for you too, and I will take you there.

You're broken, I knew, but still I left you. I was always insecure about your love because you couldn't show it very well. The thing is, even though I tried to love you unconditionally, I couldn't. Of course anyone could have told me it wouldn't work but I probably wouldn't have listened anyway.

But the truth is I could feel it, you couldn't express your love in words but in your own way you showed it to me. Yes, somewhere I knew you loved me, but still I left you. Maybe it was the shock of hearing you say those things and the shock of learning you had a fiancée. But at that moment when I looked in your eyes I saw that you didn't mean what you said. You had the saddest eyes.

I saw you but still I left you to break.

But even without witnessing that fight I probably wouldn't have stayed. I was tired, dead tired of the routine we had stuck ourselves in. Since neither of us were honest, we didn't help each other. Instead we on each other and my energy had reached its bottom and in the end I had nothing left for you. Your inconsistency, warm one moment just to be cold the next. Your sometimes cruel and violent behaviour, I let it pass every time. I was so insecure, you were so insecure. We made so many mistakes.

I have probably hurt a lot of people. Now when I think about it I was really arrogant, I was so trapped in my suffering that I was convinced no one could understand me. I gave people what I thought they wanted instead of showing what I really felt. It didn't strike me that it was unfair to judge them like that without giving them the opportunity to decide for themselves. I guess when you're depressed you don't see anyone else, you turn away from other people when it's their support you need the most. I left home because I felt like I was trapped in a cage, I was depressed and felt lonely. I wanted freedom, I wanted friends and I got what I wanted but in the end I couldn't connect. If I had given them a chance things probably wouldn't have gone this far. Fllay, Miri and not the least Kira tried to help me but I didn't let them. I left without saying anything, but when I meet them again I will apologise and I hope they will forgive me.

And I will come back to your side and this time, Athrun, I will wipe the tears that never have run down you cheeks, I will kiss them away and I will reach you.

I

Cagalli looked at the school gates she had left about four months ago and she couldn't help but feel nervous and tense. What would they say when they saw her? Would they forgive her for leaving so suddenly without telling anyone?

With her father's help she had received permission to study at home with a private teacher following the school's curriculum and still be able to take the final exams. Actually it had been her father's suggestion, she thought back on the conversation she had with him.

Of course he had been very surprised to hear that she had come back home, and that evening he came home unusually early and knocked at the door to her room. Cagalli who was lying in her bed crying into her pillow answered weakly. Even if it was her beloved father who she hadn't seen in several months, she couldn't bring herself get up from her bed.

"Cagalli, let's eat dinner together tonight, it's been so long since we saw each other. I'll be waiting in the dining room, you can take your time and come when you're ready." He said to the door and she could hear his footsteps disappear down the hall.

Cagalli stayed in her bed for a while, before she decided to finally go down to her father. First she washed her face with cold water, in hope that it would take away the swollenness.

When she came into the dining room her father was, like he had said, already sitting there. For a while they ate in silence, Cagalli ate to even though she didn't have any appetite, she didn't want to make her father worry more than he already did. Objectively she could understand it was exquisitely made but it didn't taste nearly as good as Athrun's cooking, maybe it was a matter of mood?

When they had put down their knives and forks diagonally on their plates and the maids took out them and placed elegant little coffee cups in front of them instead, Uzumi finally opened his mouth,

"Cagalli, I regret that I made you stay inside your whole childhood. When you were born and your mother died, I thought I would never want to experience that kind of pain again. I wanted to protect you from everything but I didn't noticed how it made you feel until very recently. That's why I let you, move away from home. It was really a selfish wish from your father it would heal the damage I caused you by locking you inside and not letting you go to school with other children. I didn't notice it was eating your soul, until I saw you weren't smiling at me anymore. Not like before. I was very worried of course, but I gambled and hoped that this would save you."

"Father…"

"And I noticed, when I talked to you on the phone, you had changed. I heard the old Cagalli when you amusedly talked about you're friends and what happened at school. I was really pleased, I thought that things would be alright. But now you've come back home, and you say you don't want to return to school. Are you really sure?"

"…I'm sure, I don't want to go back there." Cagalli stared at the coffee she barely touched, even if she drank it now, it wouldn't taste good anymore. It was already lukewarm.

"I don't know what happened and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But I don't want you to make any rash decisions, you looked like you were really feeling well when I talked to you. Tell you what, I will call the school and make special arrangements so that you can study home with a private teacher and then if you change your mind, you can take the exams in May. How does that sound?"

"…Ok" Cagalli nodded hesitantly, it couldn't hurt anyway.

"You need time to think about what you really want. Think carefully and make your decision after that. I will support you whatever the answer may be, I will always be on your side Cagalli." Uzumi smiled warmly at her.

Her father understood her better than she had thought, she never knew he felt like that. And now she was standing outside the school again, she had come back. She would find the place where she belonged.

I

"Cagalli!" Fllay got off from her chair so suddenly it fell to the floor to with a loud bang. She ran to Cagalli and hugged her hard. Tears started falling.

"You're really back?" Fllay asked between the sobs.

"I'm back, Fllay." Cagall smiled and hugged Fllay back.

"You traitor! Why did you leave without saying anything? Do you know how worried we've been about you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Well sorry isn't good enough! Explain!"

"Let the girl breathe for a moment Fllay." Miriallia said. "Hi, Cagalli good to see you again." She continued and smiled.

"Hi, Miri." Cagalli smiled too.

Mirialla pushed Fllay away and gave Cagalli a hug and said, "Welcome back."

"Thanks."

They let go of each other and Cagalli looked to the direction where Kira used to sit and she saw how he had gotten up from his chair and he was looking straight at her.

"Kira…" she said. She felt awkward, it was hard to figure out what to say, even if she had gone through this in her head hundreds of times.

"Cagalli!" he shouted and rushed to her and hugged her.

"Kira…" she was a little surprised at first but then she returned the hug. She was relieved that he didn't avoid her, this perhaps meant that he would forgive her, she hoped he would.

Suddenly the door was opened, "Cagalli-cutie! You're really back, I heard someone had seen you. I didn't dare to believe it, but it's true!"

"Heine!" Cagalli said surprised and found herself in his arms.

"Come on everybody, what are you waiting for? Group hug!" Heine encouraged the others who were…

"What hell are you saying you pervert!? But what I really want to know is, what am I doing here!?" Yzak.

"Relax Yzak, you might as well be honest. It's obvious to everyone you're glad to see Cagalli anyway." Dearka.

"I don't know if I should… but hey what the heck." Nicol.

"Ahem, sorry to break up the reunion, but we're trying having a lesson here." The teacher said, and they noticed that the rest of the class were looking at them quite strangely.

"I'm sorry Miss Ramias." Cagalli said quickly and turned to Heine and the rest, "Can we continue this at lunch instead?"

"Of course, I want to continue as well. I want to give you as many hugs I can before you know who kills me by glaring a hole in my back."

"Eh, Ok…" Cagalli smiled hesitantly.

"Ok, everyone please take their seats." Murrue said and the ones who didn't belong there had to return to their own classrooms.

It had been easier than she thought to come back, everyone had received her with open arms (literally), but it didn't change it had been hard too. It wasn't as easy to forgive herself as it seemed to be for her friends to forgive her. And some still kept a grudge…

"Hey what do you know, baby tiger is back!"

"Are you still going to call me that!?"

"I've never called you baby tiger before. You know I haven't forgiven you for ditching the team…" Mwu said smiling a scary smile.

"Hehehe… he he." Cagalli laughed nervously as cold sweat was forming on her forehead.

"Look forward to 200 push ups next practice."

"200! That's impossible."

"Ha, nothing is impossible. Remember I'm the guy who makes the impossible possible."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Just be sure to show up at practice, or suffer unimaginably horrible consequences." Mwu flashed white smile and winked before he continued down the corridor.

Mwu La Fllaga definitely hadn't forgiven her yet, she still felt the effect from his killer exercise. That demon teacher, someday she would make him pay…

Another thing she had been worried about proved to go surprisingly smoothly. Lacus Clyne, the girl who had been Athrun's fiancé. She looked so perfect it was hard to believe how someone like that could exist. But they weren't engaged anymore. When she was still at home Cagalli had let Kisaka investigate Lacus, she wanted to know the truth behind what Kira had said that cold winter day.

Lacus was a pop-idol who was extremely poplar in Orb, and even had a budding international career. She and Athrun had been engaged for three years, by agreement of their fathers, but in February the engagement seemed to have been annulled by the Clyne side. The fact that they weren't engaged anymore didn't stop Cagalli from feeling a little awkward facing her. Even if Cagalli hadn't been aware of it, she had been with Athrun while they still were engaged. She understood that it had been a business agreement without feelings involved but still…  
But every worry was cleared when she actually talked to Lacus, they got along very well. Lacus was very sweet and it was impossible not to be charmed by her.

Fllay who had been appalled at first that Cagalli became friends with Lacus, soon gave up to Cagalli's persuasion though not without complaining. It would be to go too far to say they were the best of friends but still they tolerated each other to everyone's relief. The atmosphere in the classroom had become pretty frosty because of their continuing fight. Or more accurately it was Fllay who one-sidedly had decided to make Lacus her enemy.

But the greatest problem still remained, a week had passed since Cagalli came back and Athrun did his outmost to avoid her. It was more than obvious. He looked shocked when he first saw her, he just looked at her ignoring Heine who was dancing around him. But after that he hadn't looked at her once, she tried to catch his eye, she tried to talk to him but it was all in vain. Was this his reply? You betrayed me and left, don't think you can just come back like nothing happened? He made it hard for her, she wanted to talk to him but it became harder for every day that went by. It was hard to be rejected every time and she felt how she became more and more cowardly.

I

Athrun was sitting alone in the student council room, thinking. He never thought this would happen that Cagalli would come back. At first he had just been shocked and maybe even glad, he didn't even have room to be bothered by Heine who was making a fuss around him. But then he started thinking, why had she come back? Was it for his sake? That was hard to believe, it wasn't like they could just start all over.

While Cagalli was gone he felt like hole was spreading inside, he felt like he became more and more hollow for each day that went. But she looked like she hadn't been affected what so ever, no in fact she looked better than he had ever seen her. She laughed easily and her gaze full of confidence and didn't sway, how come she was like that when he had nothing of that?

He began to avoid her, afraid of the final rejection perhaps. If he avoided her, he would at least not have to hear it from her lips: that it was over. It was kind of a comfort that he still could have the illusion left. If he talked to Cagalli even that would disappear and then there would be nothing left, for real this time.

"Athrun." He heard a voice he knew too well, a person he really didn't want to deal with right now.

"Yzak." Athrun answered stiffly.

Yzak seated himself and looked at Athrun and Athrun stared back. They continued like that for a while until Yzak finally opened his mouth again,

"To be honest, I don't like you."

"Tell me something I don't already know."

"I used to see you as a rival you know, and then I got angry when I noticed that you didn't care at all. It really pissed me off when I noticed you looked down on everybody. It was extremely frustrating to see that you managed to get the highest grades without any effort and I envied you. But I don't anymore, I pity you Athrun because you're pathetic." Yzak stopped and looked at him.

"…" Athrun unconsciously tightened his fists, but he didn't say anything and Yzak continued,

"I don't know what happened between you and Cagalli and I don't really want to know. But you'll regret it if you don't take this chance to settle things between you, anyway you owe it to Cagalli."

"What the fuck gives you the right to give me advice? You don't know fuck about me." Athrun said boiling with anger, he had tried to press it away but it was impossible.

Yzak looked surprised at first but then smiled amusedly, "It seems I hit a nerve."

"Fuck you." Athrun muttered and was getting ready to leave when Yzak said, "But anyway it must mean a lot to you. This was the first time you got angry at me for real, you've never taken anything I said seriously before."

"Whatever." Athrun said and turned his back on the student council room. The stress and irritation were piling up, his carefully controlled exterior was beginning to crack.

He headed towards the main entrance and from a distant he could see long pink hair and for a second he thought about taking another exit but changed his mind when he saw who she was talking to, Cagalli and Kira. He knew he didn't have the right to feel jealous but it didn't help, the hole in his heart just became wider. As he got closer Kira seemed to notice him and said something to Lacus and then Cagalli and he left while Lacus remained.

It was a comfort that Lacus was in the same situation. He noticed that Lacus was interested in Kira, and at least he could delight in her misfortune because there was no way Kira would return those feelings.

"So, even the famous Lacus Clyne has faults…" Athrun said smiling maliciously as he reached her.

Lacus quickly turned around and answered, "Of course, I'm only human, everyone has faults. It's just that some have more than others."

"And by "some" you mean me?"

"Oh? I said no such thing." Lacus smiled sweetly at him, and it made him irritated. He knew she really didn't mean that smile and he felt like hurting her.

"Anyway, it's no use going after Kira. He's interested in someone else."

"I know."

"And you still go after him? That's why women are stupid, they cling on, even if there is no chance no matter how much they get hurt."

"It's called love, Athrun, but you wouldn't know anything about it."

"You think you know me so well don't you? So what if I don't know what love is, it doesn't change that it's stupid."

"Perhaps you're right, but it doesn't matter anyway."

"But still, to think that you would do this. You've been so condemning towards me, and now you're doing the same thing yourself... Don't you think it's a little slutty? Throwing yourself at another guy when you're engaged?"

Lacus expression hardened for an instant but then she smiled, "What can you possibly be talking about? I don't have a fiancée."

"…What kind of joke is that? We're engaged no matter how much we don't want it." Athrun couldn't hide the shock of Lacus sudden declaration.

"Oh, has no body told you? The engagement has been annulled since almost four months."

"You're lying."

"I'm not lying, I was the one who annulled it. I asked my father, and he agreed to my request. You see, my father cares about me… I hope you don't think I would stand being married to you for the rest of my life?" Lacus now looked almost triumphant, she knew that she had won.

"…" Athrun was at loss for words, not in his wildest dreams he could have imagined this.

"So I would appreciate if you didn't put me in the category as you, we're nothing alike. And if you don't believe me why don't you talk to your father, he will tell you. Well, if you would excuse me…" Lacus finally said and left.

Athrun could just stand there, it was hard even to breathe. It felt like if he would stop breathing that moment, it would be a relief.

I

"It's been a while since I was here…" Cagalli had finally decided to deal with the situation. First she agreed with Kira to come over to his house, she had a lot things she wanted to talk to him about and she wanted to tell him what she was about to do.

"Yeah, I was afraid you'd never come back." Kira said smiling as he took a sip from his coke.

"Well, that was my original intention." Cagalli smiled apologetically.

"Cagalli… I've been wanting to apologise to you all this time."

"What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologise, I said horrible things to you when you were only worrying about me, and then I left without saying anything."

"You did say some pretty harsh words, and I was pretty mad at the time. But even if I was stressed I pushed you, and I could have said things in another way. I didn't want you to get hurt but I ended up hurting you instead."

"Don't worry about it, I think nothing about it."

"Really!? I was afraid it was my fault you left."

"You thought that?"

"Well yeah, kind of. Well not all my fault, mostly Athrun's but still…"

"No, it wasn't your fault at all. Athrun did have something to do with it, but in the end it was my own decision. Normally you don't run away just because you've been dumped."

"Athrun… So you really were together huh?"

"Yeah…" Cagalli answered and continued, "Kira… about what you said that night."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, that you eh… love me."

"Oh, that…" Kira laughed dryly.

"I didn't answer properly that time."

"It's ok, you don't have to. I understand."

"No, I owe you a real answer. I want you to know that I'm really happy for your feelings but I can't return them. I love you, but as a friend. Maybe it's cruel to ask you this but I want us to be friends."

"No, I want us to be friends! I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was happy with the way things were. I didn't want anything to change but when I saw Athrun and you I panicked and acted before I really understood what I really felt."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I love you. I feel like I can connect with you. But I think it's different than being _in_ love. Somehow I got jealous anyway, maybe I wanted to be the one closest to you. I'm sorry it ended up this way. I made Athrun promise he wouldn't go after you, maybe that's why he did, just because I told him not to, but I really didn't think he was that kind of person. Come to think of it, the worst thing for me was Athrun's betrayal. I really thought I knew him."

"Do you really believe that? Do you really believe Athrun is that kind of person?"

"What are you talking about, you heard him right? He said those terrible things about you, sorry but if he really loved you he wouldn't say something like that."

"I can't say I wasn't hurt by what he said, but I don't think he meant a single word of it."

"Then why has he avoided you since you came back? He should have taken the chance and apologise to you immediately!"

"Because he is a coward, I think he is afraid of rejection. He is a person who doesn't know how to deal with feelings. It's pretty obvious he puts up a shell to protect himself from being hurt, sadly that has made him lonely."

"…"

"Have you spoken to Athrun at all since the fight?"

"No…"

"Do you think Athrun is unaffected by this, do you think he doesn't care?"

"…"

"You miss him too, don't you? You want to make up don't you?"

"…honestly I've seen how Athrun's gotten worse by the day. I've seen how he's been doing. But I haven't been able to forgive him, possibly because I haven't been able to forgive myself. And more than anything I'm angry, no furious that he didn't trust me. He could just have asked me to shut up when I asked him to stay away from you. Or if he changed his mind he could have just told me the truth, sure I would have been angry but it probably would have passed. At least he would have been honest, but now he didn't trust our friendship enough to tell me. It feels so sad."

"It's not that I don't understand how you feel, but right now he isn't strong enough to do that. I'm going over to his place tonight, I'm going to talk with him and we'll see what happens after that."

"Are you going to see him? Then I'm coming too, I can't let you go alone."

"No, I have to do this by myself. I'm sorry but you'll only be in the way. But if I manage to talk to him and he agrees to see you, are you willing to forgive him?"

"It depends, if he does something to hurt you then I'm not. But otherwise, at least I'm willing to talk. Truthfully I miss him, and I'm really worried about him but he can't keep acting like this."

"Great! I guess I'll be heading over there now then. I'll call you later."

"Be careful, if anything happens be sure to call me."

"You worry too much, I can take care of myself, Kira."

I

"What is the meaning of this father!?" Athrun screamed, he felt anger boil up with such ferocity he was afraid of what he might do. For one thing he had not once raised his voice to his father before, but it was like his mind had turned blank, and all that was left was bitterness and resentment and furiousness. This, on top of all that had happened, was the last straw.

"Don't you take that tone with me Athrun! Yes, the engagement is annulled since Februari, but you were never attached to Miss Clyne so you shouldn't have any objections. Now leave this room, I don't have time for your petty complaints."

"Don't you think you should have let me know sooner? After all it is my life we're talking about here." Athrun tried to control himself.

"I didn't find it necessary, in any case I'm too busy to worry about your discontent. You just make sure that you graduate with top grades and get your ass to university. I'll let you know when I've decided on a new fiancée for you. You better make sure you don't screw it this time."

"What am I to you anyway? Just a tool to grab new business advantages?" Athrun took the courage to ask the question he had wanted to ask for so many years now. Not that he expected anything but he couldn't help feel incredible disappointment when he heard his father's answer.

"Now that's enough of your insolence, get out of here right now. Shouldn't you be studying for your exams?" Patrick pressed a button on his desk. "Show Mr. Zala out." Of course his father wouldn't say it wasn't true. He knew that and still asked, maybe that was what being stupid meant.

Immediately two robust looking men in suits showed up and positioned themselves on both sides of Athrun.

"This way please, Mr Zala." One of them said and pushed Athrun's back.

"I can find my out on my own thank you." Athrun said rudely and shook off the unwelcome hands.

When he got out he hit the wall with his fist, "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" He was so angry he didn't know what to do. It was obvious that his father couldn't care less about him, his father probably wouldn't even care if he died if it wasn't for the fact that he would be loosing an heir. Athrun thought that he had gotten over the fact that his father didn't love him, that he didn't care about what his father thought about him. But now it hurt like hell. He laughed bitterly at being so pathetic, how much he even tried he would never be able to break free from his father's clutches. But now he wanted to get an outlet for his anger, he wanted to hurt someone just as he had been hurt, he wanted a shag.

He wandered around aimlessly for some time, and before he knew it he was almost outside his home. He might as well go home, and he could call someone over. In any case this way was much more practical, he was after all Athrun Zala, he didn't have to put any effort to get laid.

But when he reached the gate he saw the person he least expected to be there and at the same the person he least wanted to be there. He decided he would try to leave without her noticing it but it was too late, she caught his eye. He could see she looked at him with sympathy and it made him a little irritated, he didn't want her pity, he didn't deserve it.

"Athrun…" She said.

"Cagalli" He merely stated.

"Ah, eh… Athrun I…"

"What do you want?" He interrupted her coldly.

She looked a little surprised at first but then sad, "I, I just wanted to talk."

"I can't talk to you right now Cagalli, cause if I'll do I don't know what I might do." He said bitterly.

"Athrun, did something happen?" She said softly and reached out her arm.

"Don't touch me! Didn't I tell you? I don't know what I might do to you. Get away from me." He screamed but Cagalli didn't budge.

"Didn't you hear me, please go Cagalli." He begged. "I don't want to hurt you."

Cagalli just smiled a gentle smile and reached out her hands and touched his cheeks, "I don't care. Athrun let me share your pain, don't shut me out." She gently stroked his hair and embraced him.

"Why? Why are you doing this? I don't deserve it, I haven't done anything but bad things to you."

"That's not true, anyway let's get inside."

Athrun could just nod, all anger had just run out of him. Why did Cagalli have so much power over him? That she could calm him down so easily in an instant?

A little while later when they sat silent on the side of Athrun's bed, it was Athrun who first broke the silence, "So why are you here?" He didn't look her in the eye but stared intently at the floor.

"I told you right? I want to talk or rather perhaps I want to explain."

"What is there to talk about? You heard me before right? I don't love you, I was only playing with you."

Cagalli continued as she hadn't heard what he said, "Truthfully I was at my limit even if I hadn't overheard you and Kira I probably would have left. I was at a point where I couldn't think about anything but myself. I was shocked of course, that you had a fiancée. But that wasn't the reason I left..."

At the mention of the word "fiancée" Athrun froze and he remembered his meeting with his father again, and anger began to boil up again.

Cagalli noticed the change in Athrun's mood, "Athrun?"

"Don't!"

She wasn't sure what he meant, he didn't want her talk or he didn't want her to touch him? She didn't care though, she wouldn't let him get away anymore, it was for his own good and of course for her own sake.

"Something has happened right? Tell me?"

"It's none of your business, I think it would be if best you leave now."

"Like hell I will!"

"Cagalli?" He looked at her surprised.

"I'm not letting you get away this time. I'm not gonna let you take the easy way out!" She screamed at him. Then followed with a softer voice, "It's alright you can confide in me."

"Why are you so kind to me? Is it pity? Frankly it pisses me off! You're wasting your breath, I'm not strong like you." Athrun spat out.

"It has nothing to do with pity and really I'm not that strong. And I don't think I'm superior to you in any way, I have plenty of ugly sides too as you know. The reason why I can't leave you alone is selfish and simple. It's because I love you of course, stupid."

"…" Athrun was lost for words. She had said it once before but this time it felt just as strong. After all they had been through it was hard to believe but when he looked in her eyes he knew it was true. He felt a lump in is throat and his eyes started to sting, a sad and nostalgic feeling. Tears? He swallowed hard to press them away.

Cagalli hugged him from the side and stroke his hair, "So tell me what's bothering you? You'll feel better if you let it out."

Athrun finally gave in and started to tell her about his meeting with his father. Cagalli just listened silently while gently holding him. Strangely he felt nostalgic, how long was it since someone held him like this? It reminded him of his mother, how she was busy with work but took time and always comforted him when he was sad. Now she was gone, and it was a long time since he had allowed himself to feel sad.

"I don't know why but nothing I've done have ever been good enough for him, I never managed to live up to his expectations. I can't remember him ever hugging me, when I brought home perfect grade cards he never praised me he just acted like it was obvious. I tried so hard to make him proud, to get a reaction from him but he's never praised me once.

He's never hugged me, not even when my mother died. He didn't comfort me, instead he told me not to disgrace him by crying when we were at the funeral. When we came home from the funeral, father must have drunken a bit but…, he said it would have been better if it was me who had died. That he wished that I had died instead. …Maybe it would be better if I was dead, you know I thought that so many times. I know he wouldn't miss me anyway."

Cagalli felt how tears were welling up, "You stupid idiot!"

"Cagalli?" Athrun asked confused by her reaction.

"Don't ever say something like that again! What would be better if you were dead? Answer me!"

"I wouldn't have to feel this pain for example…" Athrun answered hesitantly.

"So you you're just going to run away?"

"I haven't said I would do it, I probably don't have the guts, I'm a coward anyway."

"There's nothing brave about taking your own life. To live is hard, it's a struggle but you know there are rewards if you're willing to accept them."

Cagalli thought about what Athrun had told her, and she knew it was impossible to fully understand how Athrun felt. Even though her own father was busy, there was no doubt in her mind that he really loved her. But she did understand how hard it was to oppose your parent, if her father told her she would be engaged would she be able to oppose him? It wasn't unusual in their social sphere with arranged marriages, Athrun wasn't the only one. But after all that had happened to her the last year made her think, and Athrun who obeyed his father in almost everything wasn't the least bit happy even if he had more than most materially.

She slowly started talking again, she didn't know exactly what she wanted to say, but somehow she tried to put it into words,

"It must feel very lonely to feel like your own father doesn't love you. And I know you want his approval but that is not all of you, Athrun. I understand you want to be loved by him but you can't force him to, and living your life as he tells you isn't the answer, it won't make him love you more." She looked at him and smiled as she stroke his cheek gently and continued, "You can't change him, but you can change yourself. You only have one life, live it as you want to and not as your father wants to. I will be here for you, I will love so you don't have to worry. If you died Athrun, I would miss you, so don't do anything to make me sad, because I would be too sad."

The words just poured out of her, she didn't know if she made any sense, if he understood what she meant. But she just wanted him to know that she would be there for him. Honestly she was incredibly angry at Athrun's father, how could he say something like that to his own son, his own flesh and blood? How could he be so cruel to a child? Did he know what he was doing? But had swallowed that anger because she sensed that wasn't what Athrun needed right now.

"…Cagalli." He said and she could hear a sob.

She leaned back and lay on her back and reached out her arms to him as to invite him, he cuddled up against her and buried his face against her neck. She felt it get wet by the tears that were silently running down his cheeks. Soon she heard deep and regular breathing, he had apparently fallen asleep. She soon followed him and they lay there peacefully together until morning came.

I

"Cagalli."

"nng…"

"Cagalli, wake up." He shook her gently.

"What, is it morning already?"

"It's already noon."

Suddenly she opened her eyes wide open, "What the hell, I can't feel my arm!"

"Eh?"

"Athrun have you been sleeping on my arm the whole night? I can't feel it damn it!"

"Eh, I'm sorry I guess I must have." He smiled a little nervously.

"I guess it can't be helped but could you get off it right now?"

"Sorry." He apologised and sat up in the bed supporting himself with his right arm and looked down on her with gentle eyes.

Cagalli was busy with shaking life into her arm so she didn't notice at first but when she turned her eyes at him she asked curiously, "What?"

"Cagalli… until I met you I never felt this way. I didn't recognise it at first and I was confused. But the truth is… the truth is I love you. I love you so much I don't know what to do without you."

"I know" she answered a little teasingly.

"If you're willing to give me a second chance I promise it will be better this time."

"It better."

"Yeah." He smiled a little awkwardly as he wasn't exactly proud of what he had done.

"We won't keep it a secret this time." He continued.

"No, and you will talk to me when something is bothering you."

"Yeah, and the same to you. I want to be able to help you, I want to support you."

"Yeah, I'll make sure I will. Thanks Athrun."

"…" Athrun smiled teasingly.

"?" Cagalli looked at him questioningly.

"And I will help you get rid of these interfering clothes now."

"Eh? What? Wait Athrun!"

"No?"

"…No"

"No meaning you don't want to or no meaning it's Ok?"

"…It's ok." Cagalli couldn't help but blushing a little and Athrun who noticed widened his grin a little. It made her a little irritated and she wished she hadn't Okayed him, but as mortifying as it was she too wanted to feel him, it had been so long since she had.

He placed a kiss on her forehead and whispered in her ear, "Good, because I want you badly."

I

He lay on top of her and hugged her tight and he felt how her thin arms pressed against his back returning his hug. Oh my God, so this was what love felt like? This was how it felt to love someone so much it hurt. It made him scared because what would happen if he lost the one he loved again? He didn't want to think about it. Cagalli had come back to him. He knew that he had to trust her if he wanted to keep her, and more than anything he didn't want to hurt the person he loved the most. He had to trust Cagalli, trust that she had chosen him, trust that she wouldn't leave him again. She was all he had so he couldn't doubt her.

He held her tighter as if to confirm her existence and he felt how tears were burning his eyes again. He felt a little pathetic, he was crying again in spite of feeling so happy.

"Athrun?" Cagalli looked at him worriedly.

"It's nothing." He said hurriedly and wiped the tears with the back of his hand.

"I thought I told you, I don't want you to hide from me. If you want to cry you should cry."

"It's not like that, I don't know why I'm crying. It's just that I feel so happy."

"Athrun…"

"I'm so happy that you are here, I thought I lost you. But you're here, in my arms, holding me. It makes me feel so happy."

"I'm happy too, I don't want to be anywhere else."

"Promise me you won't go anywhere, don't leave me again, Cagalli."

"I won't leave you."

"You're the only one I got."

"That's not true Athrun, you've got Kira. And Heine and Nicol and everybody from the student council, everyone has been worried about you."

"They have?" Athrun looked surprised.

"Yes they have, even Yzak. You shouldn't push people away, there are people who care about you."

"Yzak has been worried about me? That's hard to believe." Athrun laughed dryly, "I thought everybody hated me. I haven't exactly done things to deserve people worrying about me."

"You certainly haven't made it easy for people to like you, but you should give them more credit than you do. They noticed that something was wrong of course, they're your friends."

"Friends?"

"Yes, your friends, you should talk to them. Thank them."

"…I will. Thank you Cagalli."

"Why do you thank me?"

"Because you don't let me get away. Because you make me want to be better, I'm too pathetic to figure these things on my own."

"You're not pathetic, you were just confused. You shouldn't degrade yourself all the time, no one can do everything on their own. It's ok to rely on others."

"How did this happen? I didn't know you were so mature."

"I'm not mature, I'm telling you these things but I might as well tell myself the same thing. It's just that I've had people who have helped me, like I'm trying to help you now. I'm just sure of two things, you can't manage being all alone. "

"What's the other one?"

Cagalli put a little more force in her arms that where embracing his back, "I love you." It was almost like a whisper but still it was clear and without hesitation.

Athrun didn't answer he just put his lips to hers, how long it was since they kissed.

How different it was to kiss her compared to others, he didn't feel emptiness or disgust, he felt love. Her lips were so soft and she was so warm. Warm enough to reach inside of him.

It was impossible to measure how much Cagalli meant to him, but one thing was certain: it was more than anything else, more than his father's approval and more than his pride. He knew that he would never regret Cagalli. In so many ways she had saved him and whatever happened from now on wouldn't change that.

He let go his thoughts, concentrating only on those lips and that body. This moment would be with him, always.

**The End**

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I 

I

So this is the end, I just want to thank everybody who has been reading this. I hope I've been able to entertain you, at least I've had fun. It's been a lot of work but I feel it's definitely been worth it. I hope this has made me a better writer, I'm not sure but I hope so. It definitely has made me much better at typing… Hopefully I've become a little better at English too. I still think it's hard to write in English, but that is something I share with many on this site. Still doing my best though…

Even if this story has ended, my love for asucaga has not! Be sure to look out for my new stories, I have two (or maybe three), ideas that I've been writing on.

Lastly, just for fun and as thanks for reading this story. If there is anyone who wants me to write a side story, you can pm me. Be sure to write what scenario you want and if there are any particular characters you want to be in it. So please don't hesitate, if there is a situation you want to read about, tell me and I just might write something about it. If there are several requests I will take the liberty of picking one.

Thank you, tack så mycket!

Lalalu


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